Chair Humor

Okay, enough political stuff. This blog needs something totally unimportant, and I've got just the thing.

I was sitting here at the computer like I tend to do for most of the day, and I happened to notice a sticker on the bottom of my chair. I pulled it off and discovered that it had a bunch of warnings on it pertaining to the chair. Here's what the sticker says (caps and bold font added to match the original text):

WARNING: SERIOUS INJURY MAY OCCUR IF FAILURE TO FOLLOW THESE WARNINGS

-This chair is designed for sitting only. Do not stand on this chair. Do not use it as a step ladder. (all right, I must confess that I have, in the past, stood on the chair, but I had to kill a spider on the ceiling and I didn't have anything else high enough)

-Do not use this chair unless all bolts and parts are firmly tightened. Check and retighten all bolts and parts at least every 3 months. (Oh, crap! I've had this chair for 10 months and I've never inspected it! I could be in danger!)

-If any parts are missing, damaged, or worn, stop using this chair. Repair the chair with manufacturer supplied parts.

-Do not sit on the arm rest of this product.

-This chair is designed for seating one person at a time.

What would we do without safety warnings?