November 20, 2003

Another Entry in the Donktionary 

I think that's a much better name that "Democratic Dictionary." Anyway, I came up with some more liberal definitions for various words. It was harder to think of words this time around, but I think this will do for now. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

Anti-American: Agreeing with President Bush.
Baghdad: Quagmire central.
Chad: Small piece of paper used by Republicans to rig an election.
Diversity: Killing whitey Combining people of many races and ethnicities.
Europe: Model for the ideal society; Continent populated by intellectuals, innovators, and people who are generally better than Americans.
Fox News: Republican propaganda agency.
Governor: The highest elected office ever held by George W. Bush.
Homophobia: Offending homosexuals in any way, even if it has nothing to do with their sexual orientation.
Islam: A religion of peace, tolerance, love, respect, tradition, and other non-violent things.
John Ashcroft: See Heinrich Himmler.
Kim Jong Il: World leader who will probably be the next victim of The Shrub's terrorist plot.
Liberalism: Killing whitey Standing up for underrepresented groups, murdering children protecting women's right to choose, persecuting Christians defending religious freedom, and taking your hard-earned money away from you balancing the federal budget with reasonable tax policies.
Multiculturalism: Making sure that at least 10% of the people you meet in an average day can't speak more than a dozen words of English.
NPR: Underground resistance fighters speaking out against the neo-fascists. Don't tell them where the radio station is!
Orwellian: The type of society we have thanks to the PATRIOT Act.
Peace: Avoiding conflict at all costs, even if it results in our annihilation.
Quota: Buzzword conservatives use to make diversity sound like a bad thing.
Racism: Disagreeing with affirmative action and welfare, and/or belonging to the Republican Party.
Second Amendment: See murder.
Tolerance: Agreeing with everyone all the time (unless they're conservative).
Uncle Tom: Black Republican.
Vietnam: Adjective used to describe a soldier's death (there may have been a war with a similar name at some point).
Whitewater: (place hands over both ears) I'M NOT LISTENING! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!

Just so you know, I don't believe for a second that all Democrats think this way. Unfortunately, the ones who do think this way are usually the ones talking. Remember, reader submissions are encouraged (especially since I'm almost out of ideas), including alternate definitions for words that have been used already. Donktionary power!

Incidentally, if you're still reading, you may be interested to know that I've been actively following politics for less than a year now. I didn't even know the difference between Democrats and Republicans until after the 2000 election, and I don't think I knew the difference between "right" and "left" until sometime in early 2002.

*The More You Know!*

I just completed the Republican half of this list for Political Translation. Here's a sample:
Tolerance: Successfully resisting the urge to kick liberals in the head.

For some reason, I'm obsessed with kicks to the head this week. Must be all the protests.

Posted by CD on November 20, 2003 06:57 PM
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