Another DU Fisking, Anyone? 

I know they're an easy target, but I was bored and couldn't let this one go. It's a huge article, so I can't respond to the whole thing (although you can read it and draw your own conclusions here, but I really need to Fisk something, so I'll pick my favorite sections. This may take up too much space, but bear with me. By the way, I learned how to use block quotes today, so I'll be testing out my new skill here. Let's begin:

Handicapping the 2004 Race: Wazzup, Democrats?
November 13, 2003
By Bernard Weiner, The Crisis Papers
Twelve months from now, the most important American presidential election since the Depression will take place. It will determine whether the country continues its imperial warring abroad - the next potential targets appear to be Syria and Iran - and whether domestically we will continue our quick slide away from Constitutional protections into an even more militarist, police-state society. The stakes are that high.

Funny, I still haven't seen ONE example of constitutional rights actually being violated. Unless you're talking about taking a tougher stance on illegal immigrants who, by the way, HAVE NO CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS!!! As for the militarist, police-state thing, I guess only the Iraqis deserve to live that way. You people seem determined to return to those days as soon as possible. I will remind you once again that if you are allowed to post moronic bullcrap like this, it's pretty clear that no brown shirted minions are going to drag you away to Dubya's Dungeon where Donald Rumsfeld will torture you while John Ashcroft recites various Bible passages, thereby forcing his religion down your throat. I seem to have gotten carried away with this one...

It might prove useful one full year before that vote, therefore, to take a step back and see where we are in a variety of areas that might influence American voters.
We already know who the Republican nominees will be: Bush & Cheney. Of course, the GOP powers-that-be might decide that Cheney is more a liability than asset, and he would resign due to "health concerns."

What's with the scare quotes? Since when are heart attacks not legitimate health concerns? Oh, I forgot, Dick Cheney doesn't even have a human heart. He just has a big motor that pumps Iraqi oil through his veins and gives him the power to telepathically communicate with Halliburton executives 24/7.

Then it could be some GOP senator (Hatch?) or Condoleeza Rice - trying to take the African-American vote out of the Dems' base.

So, Rice is just trying to take away precious black voters? It couldn't have something to do with the fact that she's qualified? In any case, I think they just feel threatened because pandering to minorities has always been a Democratic strategy.

...I would guess that Lieberman and Edwards would bow out fairly early, maybe also Kucinich (who, probably no surprise, is my candidate).

Dennis Kucinich: The Tinfoil Hat Club candidate (you're right about the "no surprise" part).

Gephardt, with heavy manufacturing-union support, probably will stay in the race. Sharpton and Moseley-Braun, who have been most impressive, may stay in the hunt, not because they can win but to ensure that they have major leverage at the convention...

Translation: Sharpton will call everything and everyone racist, which will eliminate the need to pay for entertainment at Democratic fundraising events.

...Clark still has a lot of learning to do as a campaigner, but he's well-positioned as the middle-range candidate between the Dean/Kucinich more liberal wing of the party...

That's an understatement if I ever saw one.

...and the Gephardt/Lieberman more conservative wing.

How is it possible to use "Gephardt/Lieberman" and "conservative" in the same sentence without triggering armageddon?

Plus, he's got the heroic warrior credentials, something that would play well against Bush's AWOL history.

Heroic warrior? I seem to remember a little article about him almost triggering WWIII...

Kerry, also a war hero...

Thanks, I forgot that Kerry was in Vietnam (although I doubt anyone that French-looking could ever be a war hero).

...- but one who voted to give Bush a blank check to invade Iraq, thus angering the Democratic base - in this analysis could squeeze by only if Clark and Dean falter.

That's some good juxtaposition. Kerry was for the war (that imperialistic chickenhawk neocon!), Clark couldn't make up his mind about the war (don't want to alienate voters? Take both positions!), and Dean is against anything Republicans do, so he could actually be pro-war for all we know.

As of mid-November 2003, I'd say the tickets could well look this way: Bush/Cheney vs. Dean/Clark or maybe Dean/Graham. (But the Democrats, jockeying for voter blocs, need to cool their rhetoric towards each other and aim their verbal guns mainly in the direction of the resident in the White House.)

Policy? What's policy? Is that another way to say "call Bush a Nazi?" Because that's all we've got! Nobody cares what we think about the issues as long as we don't like the current president! Are you questioning my patriotism? YOU FASCIST WARMONGERING LIARS (I seem to have shifted into an omniscient perspective here)!

I think this is too big for one post, so I'll leave it at that and continue at another time. Maybe tomorrow...or maybe 10 minutes from now. You never know. Like I said, it's a huge article, but there's a ton of great material there (preview for those who haven't read it: the author apparently thinks "quagmired" is a real word). I'll probably Fisk it in 2 or 3 more separate posts, although I won't cover the whole thing. This should make up for my complete lack of political posting over the past week.

Posted by CD on November 13, 2003 10:35 PM
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