Alternative Language 

Cool title, isn't it? I decided to end today with another list rather than just leaving you hanging with boring stories about what it's like playing bass drum in a college marching band. This list will be kind of short, but its content is essential to my life. You need to know this: I don't swear when I talk. Never have, never will (I occasionally write profanity, but it's not to be taken seriously). Therefore, I have to use alternative language and pseudo-swearing to get by when I need some speech enhancement. This is a list of a few of my favorite non-profane words and phrases. Enjoy!

-Fudge
-Dang
-Crap (this is one of my favorite words, since it can mean so many things)
-Holy flurking schnit
-Frickin'/friggin'
-F-ing/F-in'
-What the "H?"
-Mothertrucker
-Son of a batch of cookies
-Son of a biscuit
-Son of a ditch
-Son of a vondrook (taken from SNL)
-Buck futter (also taken from SNL)
-Crudpuppies (don't ask, I don't remember how I came up with it either)
-Consarn it
-Fork you
-A-hole
-Arse
-What the hello there, sir. How are you today? Nice weather, isn't it? (okay, I made that one up just now)

I think that's enough. I'm still a Christian, by the way. I just like to have a bit of attitude, and this is a way to be a bad...arse. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Okay, that was stupid, but I do like these words. I don't use some of them very often, but they do come in handy sometimes. Feel free to try any of them in different situations. Since you can say just about anything on TV these days, we need some less common words to start popping up. Spread the word(s)!
I will post again tomorrow, and hopefully I'll be more focused. By the way, remember that old Discovery Channel commercial with the meteors that said "AAAAAHHHH! The atmosphere! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!?" Well, I'm starting a new one: "AAAAAHHHH! The blogosphere! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" I think I'll stop now.