Larry's Roundup

Hi, everyone. Larry the Liberal here with this week's roundup. I'm sure you're all ready for a more progressive perspective after a week of Repiglican lieing from CD, so let's get started.

First of all, why didn't anyone send me questions for Ask Larry? Aren't you interested in me? Wait...maybe you did send them, but Asscroft intercepted them before they got to me! I AM NOT A TRAITOR!!! Well, I don't care if you don't like me. You're censorship wont work on me.

Next, let's look at the obvious big story from this week: The Bush* AWOL accusation. I don't understand why this is still an issue. I mean, didn't they already prove that he was AWOL back in 2000? These revisionist historians are trying to make it seem like theres still some unanswered questions.

The fraudministration, of course, cant let average Amurkans know that their Chimp in Chief is a deserter, so they manufactured this pathetic excuse for a letter to the editor. It's obviously a lie written by Mclellan or Rove, but still, it doesn't even answer the questions we're asking:

George Bush and I were lieutenants and pilots in the 111th Fighter Interceptor Squadron (FIS), Texas Air National Guard (ANG) from 1970 to 1971.

SO? Where was he in 72-73? That's what we want to know! Could it be that they're afraid the truth will be revealed? That Dumbya was doing community service for being a COKEHEAD? Don't act like you don't know that! Not only did Pretzelboy inhale, he snorted his brains out!!!

With all this happening, I don't think this suprised anybody. Does anyone really believe this? Come on! It came out at the same time as the AWOL story, and it was broken by Drudge, the same media whore who pointed the religious reich at Clinton for the horrible crime of enjoying sex.

It's also overshadowing stories about Kerry's war protests, and that's just a little to coincidental for me. Why won't they let people know what a hero Kerry was? He stood up to the uber-patriots and told the truth about American crimes against innocent minorities and women in Vietnam! People need to know!

In any case, why are people so interested in Kerry while totally ignoring the fact that Smirky got his girlfriend pregnant and drove her to the aboriton clinic? BUSH LIED, BABIES DIED! Not that theres anything wrong with abortion, but it proves that B*sh is a hypocrit!

By the way, none of this really matters, because Dennis Kucinich will win in the end. His "Department of Peace" idea is the most briliant thing I've ever heard! It's so obvious, but I guess the facist wing doesn't want peace. Look how well other goverment solutions work! If we institutionalize peace instead of hateful imperialism, we'll never have any wars! Go, Dennis! Fight for the truth!

Next story: The debate about gay marriage in Massachusetts. I can't believe some people are bigoted and homophobic enough to think that two people who love each other can't get married. I guess the religoius wrong has brainwashed you into thinking that gays arent human and shouldn't have the same rights as everyone else. If it were up to Xtians, interacial marriage would be illegal so the pure gene pool wouldn't be polluted!

What's worse, Chimpenfuhrer wants to codify hate and biggitry by putting an amendment in the Constitution against gay marriage! Why does he need that? Does he think gays are going to destroy society? "Oh no, we can't let people who love each other get married! That's unamerican!"

If you were really worried about marriage and society, you'd outlaw hetero marriage! Straight people have done more damage then anyone else, and now you need gays to fix it, just like you do when you don't know what color shirt to wear and have to call the Fab Five! I love that show! We need "Queer Bride for the Straight Groom!" Then we'll fix marriage!

That's not the only discrimination going on though. I already talked about the freedom of tree marriage that's being denied, but now I found another group with more freedom in other countries. Why can't living and dead people marry in the U.S.? Are you necrophobes too? Why should it matter whether someone is alive? If two people love each other, that should be the only qualification! You make me sick!

Now, in other international news, I found this intersting story:

Ousted Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein was probably high on drugs when he decided to invade Kuwait in 1990, said a former chief of protocol in a radio interview on Thursday.

Here's more proof that the Thief in Chief is a dictator! Just like Saddam Hussein, he's a drug addict who invaded a defenseless country and lied to people! CAN'T YOU SEE THE PARRALELS?!

I guess you can't, or else disgusting things like this wouldn't happen:

The Nobel Peace Prize awards committee reported a record 173 nominations for 2004, with known candidates including President Bush, jailed Israeli nuclear technician Mordechai Vanunu and the pope.

WHAT????? How can Bush* be up for the Nobel Prize unless Rove and Cheney payed off the comitee? This is impossible! Whats worse, the biggest bigit of them all is there: The Pope! That hateful homophobe has done almost as much to destroy peace as Chimpy. This proves that Xtians and their bigoted buybull run the world. I'm scared.

Want even more proof of bigottry? Read this:

A National Guardsman suspected of trying to share military information with al-Qaida is a Muslim convert who complained bitterly in a letter to a newspaper about ``bigotry, hatred and mindless rage'' in the United States.

Of course he complained about bigotry, hatred, and mindless rage! This proves it! Asscroft and his racial profiling are to blame. Do you think that all Muslims support "terrah" just because they dare to question Jeebus? This is blatant racism against Muslims, and we can't let it continue. I support Spc. Ryan G. Anderson and his efforts to reveal the truth about the Divided Hates of AmeriKKKa. Don't give up!

That's about it for me. Remember to send you Ask Larry questions to impeachthechimp2000@yahoo.com. See you next time!

-Larry

Posted by Larry the Liberal on February 13, 2004 09:46 PM
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