The Politics of Poodle Projection

Maureen Dowd just keeps getting more pathetic. Her latest column, entitled The Politics of Self-Pity, seems to suggest that since President Bush doesn't take the blame for every bad thing that happens, they all must be his fault. Check it out:

The Politics of Self-Pity By MAUREEN DOWD

WASHINGTON

Republicans relished their philosophy of personal responsibility last week with John Belushi's famous mantra: Cheeseburgercheeseburgercheeseburger.

It's always good to start off an NYT opinion piece with a John Belushi reference. This should be entertaining.

When the House passed the "cheeseburger bill" to bar people from suing fast food joints for making them obese, Republican backers of the legislation scolded Americans, saying the fault lies not in their fries, but in themselves.

Worst. Shakespeare allusion. EVER.

"Look in the mirror, because you're the one to blame," said F. James Sensenbrenner Jr. of Wisconsin, home of brats and beer bellies.

I'm sure they'll appreciate your giving them that reputation.

So it comes as something of a disappointment that the leader of the Republican Party, the man who epitomizes the conservative ideal...

You must not know a lot of conservatives, Mauron.

...is playing the victim. President Bush has made the theme of his re-election campaign a whiny "not my fault."

Really? I thought it was "Steady leadership in times of change." If you hear "not my fault" somewhere in there, you may want to see a psychiatrist.

His ads, pilloried for the crass use of the images of a flag-draped body carried from ground zero...

Pilloried in 57 ways, if you get my drift...

...and an Arab-looking everyman with the message, "We can fight against terrorists..."

"You racists! How dare you suggest that Islamic terrorists are Arabs!"

...actually have a more fundamental problem.

I'm thinking the problem is your inability to see the surface value of anything, but I could be wrong.

They try to push off blame for anything that's gone wrong during Mr. Bush's tenure on bigger forces, supposedly beyond his control.

You're not one of those LIHOP (Let [9/11] Happen On Purpose) people, are you?

One ad cites "an economy in recession. A stock market in decline. A dot-com boom gone bust. Then a day of tragedy. A test for all Americans."

And how exactly was Bush responsible for 9/11, a dot-com bust, and an economic/stock market recession largely caused by those 2 things?

Mr. Bush's subtext is clear: If it weren't for all these awful things that happened, most of them hangovers from the Clinton era, I definitely could have fulfilled all my promises. I'm still great, but none of my programs worked because, well, stuff happens."

None of his programs worked? I'm sure the liberated people of Iraq and Afghanistan would appreciate hearing that they're part of a failure. As for the economy, if someone like you still has a job, I'd say it's doing pretty well.

It's as if his inner fat boy is complaining that a classic triple cheeseburger from Wendy's (940 calories and 56 grams of fat, 25 of them saturated, and 2,140 milligrams of sodium) jumped out of its wrapper and forced its way down his unwilling throat, topped off by a pushy Frosty (540 calories and 13 grams of fat, 8 of them saturated).

Are you saying that he screwed up on purpose?

Mr. Bush has been in office over three years. It's time to start accepting some responsibility.

I'm willing to bet that you won't be happy until he apologizes for every problem in the world, right down to that guy who cut you off in traffic on the way to work.

Republicans have a bad habit of laying down rules for other people to follow while excluding themselves. Look how they beat up Bill Clinton for messing around with a young woman, while many top Republicans were doing the very same thing.

Let's see now...how many of them lied under oath about it? How many of them accepted a job where they were expected to represent the entire United States with honor and integrity, then debated the meaning of the word "is?" Oh, right: Just Clinton. Idiot.

Mr. Bush's whingeing was infectious.

"Whingeing?" That's a new one. I wonder if it's even a word. Hmmm...Nope. That's really sad. (UPDATE: Apparently, "whingeing" is a British word for "whining." Still, why switch to European spellings for no reason...?)

The very House Republicans who greased the skids for the cheeseburger bill got in a huff over John Kerry's overheard comment to some supporters in Chicago that his Republican critics were "the most crooked, you know, lying group" he'd ever seen.

How are those two things even remotely analogous? I can't see a real parallel between telling people to take responsibility for their actions and getting upset over being called crooked liars. Care to elaborate?

These tough-guy Republicans, who rule the House with an iron fist, were suddenly squealing like schoolgirls at being victimized by big, bad John Kerry.

How come only lefties get to use that Get Out of Criticism Free Card™ they always seem to have up their sleeves? Notice how nobody claimed that their patriotism was being questioned, and nobody mentioned squashing of dissent? It's called "asking for clarification."

I know that in your mind, it's a fact that the Republicans are crooked liars, but some of us like "proof." Do you know what proof is? It's not a[n] pretend obscure word like "whingeing."

J. Dennis Hastert, the House speaker, said Mr. Kerry would have his "upcomeance coming." Tom DeLay sulked that the public was getting "a glimpse of the real John Kerry." The Hammer was talking like a nail.

"The Democrats can say nasty things about the Republicans, but the Republicans aren't allowed to fight back! That would be mean!!!"

Marc Racicot, Mr. Bush's campaign chairman, accused Mr. Kerry of "unbecoming" conduct and called on him to apologize.

Is there something wrong with that? When was the last time Bush made a sweeping generalization of his entire opposition?

Oh, the poor dears. The very Bush crowd that savaged John McCain in South Carolina, that bullied and antagonized the allies we need in the real war on terror...

What f**king universe are you living in? We practically frickin' begged them to help us for years. Does that count as bullying now?

...that is spending a hundred million dollars on ads that will turn Mr. Kerry into something akin to the Boston Strangler;

The ads say that Kerry is "wrong." I don't know how you get "John Kerry is a murderer" out of that. Did you make an appointment with that psychiatrist yet?

...these guys are suddenly such delicate flowers, such big bawling babies, that they can't bear to hear Mr. Kerry speak of them harshly.

And yet, you seem to be spontaneously combusting because Bush dared to suggest that Kerry (not the entire Democrat Party, but ONLY John Kerry) is wrong. HFC: Hooray. For. Consistency.

Mr. Bush is not believable in the victim's role.

Probably because you're the only one trying to cast him there. There is a gray area in between "responsible for everything" and "victimized by everything."

He and Dick Cheney have audaciously imposed their will on Washington and the world.

How dare they! You'd think they were some kinda leaders or sumthin'!

We are not yet sure who is behind the horrendous bombings in Spain, but they have already underscored how vulnerable our trains and subways are.

"Our trains and subways?" They attacked Spain, MoDo, not America.

"All your train are belong to U.S.!"

And they have reminded us that the administration diverted resources from the war on terror and the search for Osama to settle old scores in Iraq, building a case for war with hyped and phony claims on weapons.

Why doesn't she just say "Bush lied, people died" or "Junior had to impress Daddy?" She could've saved a ton of valuable newsprint.

In an interview with The Guardian, the weapons sleuth David Kay said it's time for Mr. Bush to take personal responsibility: "It's about confronting and coming clean with the American people. . . . He should say: `We were mistaken and I am determined to find out why.' "

Is the investigation of our intelligence failures a figment of my imagination?

In other words, Mr. Bush, look in the mirror.

Sure. Then you'll probably remind him that he looks like a chimp. That's on about the same intellectual level as the rest of your tinfoil hatted Bush-bashing.

Why does she still have a job?

Posted by CD on March 14, 2004 08:28 PM
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