March 25, 2004

Animal Rights Freaks

I just got back from the SU Live writers' meeting. We meet in a lounge in the student center underground, and there's a bulletin board there with all kinds of flyers and things on it. Among them, there were several advertising an upcoming series of events sponsored by the Animal Liberation Front, or A.L.F.

Apparently, they're a group that breaks into research laboratories and releases test animals, among other things. For more info, you can go here and check out the website of the group that organized the event.

I don't have the flyer in front of me, but from what I can remember, they're sponsoring a bunch of speakers and films about the quest to "liberate" animals, and they want people to know that they're "freedom fighters," not terrorists.

They had a quote on the bottom of this thing that was frightening. I can't remember the exact words, but it was something like, "If what we're doing is wrong, then the people who shut down German concentration camps were wrong..." There was more comparing it to the Underground Railroad and similar efforts throughout history. That's really warped thinking.

How can you possibly compare an effort to set back medical research to freeing victims of slavery and the Holocaust? Delusions of grandeur, anyone?

Fortunately, it did give me an idea for an SU Live sketch. Let me know if you think this would be funny: Stuffed Animal Liberation Front.

I want to write a sketch about "activists" who are on a mission to rescue the stuffed animals of the world. For example, a guy wins a stuffed bear for his girlfriend at a carnival, but as he's about to hand it to her, one of the SALF activists jumps in and steals it from him, telling him he's no better than a slave trader. They could also break into kids' rooms at night and "rescue" the stuffed animals from "imprisonment."

This is what I meant by "infiltrating the liberal media." I even got the idea approved by the head writer, so it might make it into a show at some point.

I love college.

I found the quote I referenced above:

"If we are trespassing, so were the soldiers who broke down the gates of Hitler's death camps;

If we are thieves, so were the members of the Underground Railroad who freed the slaves of the South;

And if we are vandals, so were those who destroyed Forever the gas chambers of Buchenwald and Auschwitz."

That's right, slaves and Holocaust victims! You're no better than animals!

What a bunch of friggin' idiots. I can't believe they're coming to the university.

...Yes I can.

Posted by CD on March 25, 2004 09:37 PM
Semi-Intelligent Comments

The stufed animal liberation front. Brilliant. And then you can claim that they don't run becaue they have Stockholm Syndrome. Keep it up, man

Posted by: tommy at March 25, 2004 11:24 PM

"Stockholm Syndrome." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I'll have to remember that one. I just hope enough people will know what Stockholm Syndrome is.

Posted by: CD at March 25, 2004 11:29 PM

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