April 25, 2004

The Pea-Brained Poodle

Since Pixy is currently doing something with the MuNu database, you're seeing this a few hours after it was written, but that shouldn't really change much. Anyway, it's time for a long-overdue fisking of Maureen Dowd. I know I said I wasn't going to write political posts until after finals, but...I'm pulling a Kerry on this one. Let's get started:

The Orwellian Olsens By MAUREEN DOWD

First of all, I still can't believe Maureen Dowd hasn't lost her job yet. Why can't the people who fired Ted Rall follow up on their moment of intelligence? Anyway...

It's their reality. We just live and die in it.

In Bushworld, our troops go to war and get killed, but you never see the bodies coming home.

Brilliant. Let's do something that will decrease morale just to make a political point. I'm sure that will help the casualties to go down.

In Bushworld, flag-draped remains of the fallen are important to revere and show the nation, but only in political ads hawking the president's leadership against terror.

Actually, the 9/11 images were used to show how the country pulled together after the worst attack in its history. In contrast, the left wants to use images of Iraq war casualties to prove that President Bush is a failure. Bit of a difference there, MoDo.

In Bushworld, we can create an exciting Iraqi democracy as long as it doesn't control its own military, pass any laws or have any power.

We've been there a year. The freaking U.S. didn't even have democracy in a year, and we didn't have suicide bombers and "insurgents" to deal with. But I guess Bush can just magically go from being an inept monkey to a genius with a "Make Iraq a Democracy" button. Keep dreaming.

In Bushworld, we can win over Falluja by bulldozing it.

As soon as someone mentions "bulldozing" Falluja, I might take that seriously.

In Bushworld, it was worth going to war so Iraqis can express their feelings ("Down With America!") without having their tongues cut out, although we cannot yet allow them to express intemperate feelings in newspapers ("Down With America!") without shutting them down.

Is she f**king serious? Is Michael "the Insurgents Are Iraq's Minutemen" Moore ghostwriting Dowd's columns now? Let me explain something to you, idiot: When "newspapers" are the cause of attacks on the U.S. armed forces, it is in the interest of the U.S. armed forces to shut them down. I can't remember where I saw this, but free speech ends where action begins. Are you going to say "screw them" next? I'm curious.

In Bushworld, it's fine to take $700 million that Congress provided for the war in Afghanistan and 9/11 recovery and divert it to the war in Iraq that you're insisting you're not planning.

This is the first I've heard of that one. I'm not sure exactly what point it's supposed to make. Wasn't the money for the War on Terror as a whole? Oh, right, "No connection between Iraq and Al Qaeda!"

In Bushworld, you don't consult your father, the expert in being president during a war with Iraq, but you do talk to your Higher Father, who can't talk back to warn you to get an exit strategy or chide you for using Him for political purposes.

I find it interesting that Dowd said that, even though she wrote another column claiming that Bush went to war to rebel against his father in some adolescent quest for greatness. I won't even get into the God comment. That's just plain wrong on many levels.

In Bushworld, it's O.K. to run for re-election as the avenger of 9/11, even as you make secret deals with the Arab kingdom where most of the 9/11 hijackers came from.

Those tinfoil hats must really be in style this season.

In Bushworld, you get to strut around like a tough military guy and paint your rival as a chicken hawk, even though he's the one who won medals in combat and was praised by his superior officers for fulfilling all his obligations.

Bush has not called Kerry a "chicken hawk." Neither has anyone else in his administration. And he "strutted around" once, after demonstrating that he does actually possess the ability to pilot an aircraft. I really get irritated by Dowd's "testosterone is the root of all evil" attitude toward Dubya. "We need a metrosexual president!"

In Bushworld, it makes sense to press for transparency in Mr. and Mrs. Rival while cultivating your own opacity.

Bush was asked to reveal all his records. Bush revealed his records. Kerry was asked to reveal all his records. Kerry said he would, then changed his mind and refused. I'm glad we could clear this up.

In Bushworld, you can reign as the antiterror president even after hearing an intelligence report about Al Qaeda's plans to attack America and then stepping outside to clear brush.

We knew about Al Qaeda's plans years before that, you blithering idiot. I didn't realize learning that terrorists want to terrorize people should cause us to prepare for armageddon. Thanks for enlightening me once again with your unbelievable brilliance in all matters of national defense.

In Bushworld, those who dissemble about the troops and money it will take to get Iraq on its feet are patriots, while those who are honest are patronizingly marginalized.

I think she just blended 2 points together on that one, because I have no idea what it means.

In Bushworld, they struggle to keep church and state separate in Iraq, even as they increasingly merge the two in America.

"If I say it, it must be true! The 'religious right' wants to oppress us all!!!!!!!!"

In Bushworld, you can claim to be the environmental president on Earth Day while being the industry president every other day.

Well, I'm convinced. I'm going to sell all my evil, planet-raping possessions and go live in the woods so I can be an "environmental" American. How can people who claim to be "progressive" be against progress?

In Bushworld, you brag about how well Afghanistan is going, even though soldiers like Pat Tillman are still dying and the Taliban are running freely around the border areas, hiding Osama and delaying elections.

Pat Tillman died on a mission to kill the Taliban forces, didn't he? War kills people. I'm sorry you weren't aware of that.

In Bushworld, imperfect intelligence is good enough to knock over Iraq. But even better evidence that North Korea is building the weapons that Saddam could only dream about is hidden away.

If it was being hidden away, you wouldn't know about it. And by your definition, our evidence against North Korea isn't good enough. No intelligence is perfect, so we can't logically act on it if your premise is correct. Wow.

In Bushworld, the C.I.A. says it can't find out whether there are W.M.D. in Iraq unless we invade on the grounds that there are W.M.D.

Among the MANY REASONS we invaded was the fact that Hussein never proved that he didn't have WMD. We even involved the U.N., that brilliant, unbiased defender of international law. What more could you ask for?

In Bushworld, there's no irony that so many who did so much to avoid the Vietnam draft have now strained the military so much that lawmakers are talking about bringing back the draft.

If you would actually try to comprehend the verbal diarrhea leaking out of their mouths, you'd realize that they're just trying to scare people. The military has more people than it needs. I guess that in Dowdworld, that means we should have a draft. That makes my head hurt.

In Bushworld, we're making progress in the war on terror by fighting a war that creates terrorists.

They were already terrorists. We're just giving them a quick and easy way to die, instead of letting them recruit more terrorists to kill innocent people. If the WoT creates terrorists, then fishing creates fish.

In Bushworld, you don't need to bother asking your vice president and top Defense Department officials whether you should go to war in Iraq, because they've already maneuvered you into going to war.

Kerrytastic! So, it's not Bush's fault it all! It was just his eeeeeeevil advisors! I really wish they'd pick either the "dumb chimp" or "evil genius" meme and stick with it. It would make life so much simpler.

In Bushworld, it's perfectly natural for the president and vice president to appear before the 9/11 commission like the Olsen twins.

What a horrible analogy. Wow.

In Bushworld, you expound on remaking the Middle East and spreading pro-American sentiments even as you expand anti-American sentiments by ineptly occupying Iraq and unstintingly backing Ariel Sharon on West Bank settlements.

I'm so glad you've decided that Iraq is a failure and Israel is evil. How do you argue with these people?

In Bushworld, we went to war to give Iraq a democratic process, yet we disdain the democratic process that causes allies to pull out troops.

Nobody's stopping them from pulling out their troops. They're just saying that it's a bad idea. That's the essence of democracy. I guess this is another Dowdworld fact: "If everybody doesn't agree, it's not a democracy! YOU DEBATING FASCISTS!!!!"

In Bushworld, you pride yourself on the fact that your administration does not leak to the press, while you flood the best-known journalist in Washington with inside information.

I really have no idea what that's alluding to. Anybody? Bueller?

In Bushworld, you list Bob Woodward's "Plan of Attack" as recommended reading on your campaign Web site, even though it makes you seem divorced from reality. That is, unless you live in Bushworld.

And in the real world, you actually back up statements like that with some kind of facts, instead of believing that everyone on Earth shares your opinion. But this isn't the real world. This is...DOWDWORLD.

And now, back to procrastinating.

Posted by CD on April 25, 2004 02:11 PM
Category:
Semi-Intelligent Comments

Good fisk, man. I gotta disagree on one point, though... the Army (and I would assume the rest of the U.S. military) is hurting for people. Now, I don't know the "official policy" on this or whatever, this is just from where I stand- we barely have the folks we need to cover all our bases. Soldiers are spending more time in the desert than at their homes. But- and I'm sure this was an accident on her part- she was right about one thing. A certain U.S. President who avoided being drafted sure is the one who gutted the military and caused us all this heartache. But his name isn't Bush, silly. It's Clinton.

Posted by: Army NCO Guy at April 25, 2004 04:49 PM

That's odd. I heard they were getting more people re-enlisting than they needed. I'll have to look into that.

Posted by: CD at April 25, 2004 05:09 PM

I heard that re-enlistment was up, but that first time enlistements are waaaaaaaaay down.

But who knows?

Posted by: John Phelan at April 25, 2004 05:44 PM

"fishing creates fish". Priceless!

Posted by: Tuning Spork at April 25, 2004 10:48 PM

Well, I don't have numbers or stats or anything like that to go off of... all I have is what I've seen in my own little piece of the Army. Don't get me wrong- we're gettin' the job done. But from what I understand, we're supposed to be able to cover two major conflicts and one minor one. I'll stretch my imagination to call Iraq major and Afghanistan minor, but those two areas are using up about everything we've got. What if the PRK wants to act up? How would we reinforce South Korea?

...off on a tangent, sorry...

Anyway. The moral of the story is that right now a lot of us feel pretty spread thin. I know some guys, especially in the infantry, that went 7-8 months in Afghan, got to be home for maybe six, and are now in Iraq. Some of them have been in Iraq for more than a year now, and when they come back they probably have another Balkans rotation waiting for them. Now, they're gonna do their job, but it sure would be nice for them if somebody else was around to replace them so they can see their families once in a while.

Getting back to the point...

Nobody's seriously talking about bringing back the draft. Not any time soon. But some extra soldiers would help. I understand that the Reserves and the Guard are about to have some very bad reenlistment problems, probably have a hard time getting people in, too. I can see why, because these guys joined to be part-timers, and they end up deploying just as much as the active divisions do. At least we active-duty guys knew it was coming.

All right. I could be wrong about all this. (I mean, nobody's running around screaming that we're running out of soldiers.) It's just that repeated deployments are one of the biggest reasons people get out. Only two ways I see to fix it: less deployments or more people. The President didn't ask for this war, he got stuck with it, so the Army's gonna keep deploying. If they send me to the desert again, I won't cry, I'll go defend freedom. But I'd rather we still had a few more divisions to go around.

Okay that all kinda rambled, sorry, I'm naturally verbose... 8b

Posted by: Army NCO Guy at April 26, 2004 09:51 PM

Liars! Here's a sample of the way the Bush administration likes to make a point:

Laura Bush talked about stem cell research (which anyone who has over a 50 IQ would agree would be of GREAT benefit to so many people), and what she said was that there is very little evidence or documentation that stem cell research will find cures for such diseases as ----------name your own----.

Well, how could there be evidence when stem cell research has been curtailed the way it has by the asshole right-wing god-like Christians and their god-chosen leader?!?

Another one: Georgie porgie doesn't think "legacy" should help a person get into college? How the hell did he get into Yale? Explain the "don't bite the hand...." adage to the jackass.

Another one: The reports said that July only created a paltry 30,000 or so jobs, and Dudya is out there telling his planted audience that the economy is getting better!!!!


YOU gotta' live with the lies, not me!

Stan Serafin

Posted by: Stan Serafin at August 10, 2004 07:04 PM

My favorite artist is Renior,how about you?

Edward hopper paintings

Mary Cassatt paintings

gustav klimt paintings

oil painting reproduction

Oil Painting

handmade Oil Painting

mark rothko paintings

Old Master Oil Paintings

Nude Oil Paintings

dropship oil paintings

Mediterranean paintings

Oil Painting Gallery

Alfred Gockel paintings

Alexei Alexeivich Harlamoff paintings

Aubrey Beardsley paintings

Andrea del Sarto paintings

Alexandre Cabanel paintings

Anders Zorn paintings

Anne-Francois-Louis Janmot paintings

Allan R.Banks paintings

Andrea Mantegna paintings

Arthur Hughes paintings

Albert Bierstadt paintings

Andreas Achenbach paintings

Alphonse Maria Mucha paintings

Benjamin Williams Leader paintings

Bartolome Esteban Murillo paintings

Berthe Morisot paintings

Cheri Blum paintings

Camille Pissarro paintings

Carl Fredrik Aagard paintings

Caravaggio paintings

Claude Lorrain paintings

Claude Monet paintings

Charles Chaplin paintings

Diane Romanello paintings

Diego Rivera paintings

Don Li-Leger paintings

David Hardy paintings

Dirck Bouts paintings

Dante Gabriel Rossetti paintings

Daniel Ridgway Knight paintings

Edmund Blair Leighton paintings

Eugene de Blaas paintings

Eduard Manet paintings

Edwin Austin Abbey paintings

Edward Hopper paintings

Edgar Degas paintings

Emile Munier paintings

Edwin Lord Weeks paintings

Fabian Perez paintings

Francois Boucher paintings

Frank Dicksee paintings

Ford Madox Brown paintings

Federico Andreotti paintings

Fra Angelico paintings

Frederic Edwin Church paintings

Frederic Remington paintings

Francisco de Goya paintings

Filippino Lippi paintings

Francisco de Zurbaran paintings

Gustav Klimt paintings

Georgia O'Keeffe paintings

Gustave Clarence Rodolphe Boulanger paintings

Guillaume Seignac paintings

George Owen Wynne Apperley paintings

Gustave Courbet paintings

Guido Reni paintings

George Inness paintings

George Frederick Watts paintings

Guercino paintings

Howard Behrens paintings

Henri Fantin-Latour paintings

Horace Vernet paintings

Ivan Constantinovich Aivazovsky paintings

Il'ya Repin paintings

Igor V.Babailov paintings

Juarez Machado paintings

Joan Miro paintings

Jean-Honore Fragonard paintings

Jehan Georges Vibert paintings

Jean-Baptiste-Camille Corot paintings

James Childs paintings

John Singleton Copley paintings

Joaquin Sorolla y Bastida paintings

Joaquin Sorolla y Bastida paintings

Joseph Mallord William Turner paintings

Julien Dupre paintings

Julius LeBlanc Stewart paintings

Jeffrey T.Larson paintings

Jean-Paul Laurens paintings

Jules Breton paintings

Johannes Vermeer paintings

Jacques-Louis David paintings

John Everett Millais paintings

James Jacques Joseph Tissot paintings

Jules Joseph Lefebvre paintings

Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres paintings

John William Godward paintings

John William Waterhouse paintings

John Singer Sargent paintings

Jean-Leon Gerome paintings

Lorenzo Lotto paintings

Louis Aston Knight paintings

Leon Bazile Perrault paintings

Leon-Augustin L'hermitte paintings

Lady Laura Teresa Alma-Tadema paintings

Louise Abbema paintings

Leonardo da Vinci paintings

Lord Frederick Leighton paintings

Mark Rothko paintings

Montague Dawson paintings

Mary Cassatt paintings

Maxfield Parrish paintings

Martin Johnson Heade paintings

Nancy O'Toole paintings

Philip Craig paintings

Paul McCormack paintings

Patrick Devonas paintings

Peder Mork Monsted paintings

Pierre Auguste Renoir paintings

Peder Severin Kroyer paintings

Pieter de Hooch paintings

Pietro Perugino paintings

Peter Paul Rubens paintings

Rudolf Ernst paintings

Robert Campin paintings

Rembrandt paintings

Raphael paintings

Salvador Dali paintings

Stephen Gjertson paintings

Sir Henry Raeburn paintings

Thomas Cole paintings

Theodore Robinson paintings

Titian paintings

Theodore Chasseriau paintings

Ted Seth Jacobs paintings

Vincent van Gogh paintings

Vittore Carpaccio paintings

Warren Kimble paintings

Wassily Kandinsky paintings

William Etty paintings

William Merritt Chase paintings

William Blake paintings

Winslow Homer paintings

William Bouguereau paintings

















































































































































Posted by: handmade painting at May 26, 2008 05:54 AM
< MTCloseComments old="10" >