Eight-Legged Evil

Have I mentioned that around this time of year, every year, my house is invaded by one of the most evil creatures that ever walked the Earth? I'm talking about sac spiders.

These things are horrible. I'm sure many of you in the Northeast are familiar with them. Medium-sized, various shades of brown, long legs, often found in that little space between the ceiling and the wall, resting in a silken cocoon, or "sac?" How many of you have dealt with this? Seriously, I want to know that I'm not alone.

Have I also mentioned that I'm arachnophobic? These things frickin' terrify me. Most spiders just make my heart beat a little faster, but sac spiders cause me to go into full-blown "fight or flight" mode. I just killed one in the bathroom a few minutes ago, and I'm still screwed up.

Even worse, I found out a couple years ago that they bite people. They're frickin' poisonous!!!! As if I wasn't scared enough already.

The worst part is that I have no way to effectively kill them anymore. I'm only 5'7'', so I can't really reach the places where they like to hang out. I used to get the ones on the ceiling with a plunger (yeah, a plunger. What's wrong with that?), but my parents decided that said plunger would be better off in the basement, and the spiders are usually in the upstairs bathroom, so now I'm virtually powerless against them! I had to kill today's spider by spraying it with water until it came down from the ceiling, then crushing it with a wad of toilet paper. What fun.

Yeah, this was a pointless rant, but it had to be posted. I HATE sac spiders with such intensity that I even scare myself sometimes. So I want to know: How many of you have had to deal with this abomination? Any good stories about 'em? I know I'm not the only one.

One more thing: I made a handy diagram for dealing with the arachnid threat. Click here to see it. (WARNING: THIS DIAGRAM CONTAINS A LARGE PICTURE OF A SAC SPIDER)

And if you haven't figured it out yet: Yes, I am obsessed. It's called a phobia, people.