Patriotism=Jingoism

Well, The Simpsons just did an episode where people were imprisoned for hating America. Of course, we don't have to worry about that kind of oppression taking place in the real world, because in the real world, ridiculous crap like this happens:

U.S. athletes told to cool it at Olympics

NEW YORK -- American athletes have been warned not to wave the U.S. flag during their medal celebrations at this summer's Olympic Games in Athens, for fear of provoking crowd hostility and harming the country's already-battered public image.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS A JOKE!!!

The spectacle of victorious athletes grabbing a national flag and parading it around the stadium is a familiar part of international sporting competition, but U.S. Olympic officials have ordered their 550-strong team to exercise restraint and avoid any jingoistic behavior.

I cannot believe this. Seriously, tell me this is just a joke. What P.C. fanatic decided that being proud of your country is equivalent to "jingoism?" And if they did make that decision, why aren't other f**king countries being told the same thing?

The plan is part of a charm offensive aimed at repairing the country's international reputation after the deepening crisis in Iraq and damaging revelations of the mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners by U.S. forces at the Abu Ghraib prison.

Because when people think of America, they think of prisoner abuse!

You f**king idiots.

"American athletes find themselves in extraordinary circumstances in Athens in relation to the world as we know it right now," said Mike Moran...

You put an "a" where an "o" should be.

...a veteran former spokesman for the United States Olympic Committee who has been retained as a consultant to advise athletes how to behave.

"Let's talk about cultural framework and perception!"

"Regardless of whether there is anti-American sentiment in Athens or not, the world watches Americans a lot now in terms of how they behave and our culture.

Since we're the most influential country in the world, that kinda makes sense, doesn't it?

What I am trying to do with the athletes and coaches is to suggest to them that they consider how the normal things they do at an event, including the Olympics, might be viewed as confrontational or insulting or cause embarrassment."

Let me get this straight: Because some overly sensitive douchebags might view the American flag as a threat, our athletes shouldn't be allowed to wave it if they win a freakin' event? What world are you living in?

Four years ago at the Sydney Olympics, members of the victorious American 400-meter relay team were widely condemned for strutting with the U.S. flag after their gold medal presentation.

Of course, no other country received a similar reprimand, right? After all, they were just trying to stand up to the mean, nasty, jingoistic Americans.

American officials, mindful of the country's precarious standing in world opinion, are desperate to avoid any repeat.

I guess we want "world opinion" to label us as cowards who will change our behavior just because we might offend people by having a frickin' flag present at the frickin' olympics.

"Unfortunately, using the flag as a prop or a piece of apparel or indulging in boasting behavior is becoming part of our society in sport because every night on TV we see our athletes -- professional, college or otherwise -- taunting their opponents and going face-to-face with each other," Mr. Moran said. "We are trying for 17 days to break that culture.

IT'S CALLED "COMPETITION," YOU FRIGGIN' LUNATIC!

"What I am telling the athletes is, 'Don't run over and grab a flag and take it round the track with you.' It's not business as usual for American athletes.

Would it be okay if they spit on it? Or maybe they should just forego that question and lose intentionally. After all, if Americans win events, it could be seen as threatening, and there's always the possibility that other countries will be embarrassed. We wouldn't want them to feel inferior, would we?

If a Kenyan or a Russian grabs their national flag and runs round the track or holds it high over their heads, it might not be viewed as confrontational. Where we are in the world right now, an American athlete doing that might be viewed in another manner."

I've had enough of this attitude. Who decided that everyone should behave based on how it might be viewed? That's not our friggin' problem!

Mr. Moran added that the behavior of British athletes could face similar scrutiny in Athens, though the British Olympic Association insists there are no plans to ban them from celebrating with the Union flag.

Of course not. They're sophisticated Europeans, not like us barbaric, uneducated American cowboys.

"It's up to every athlete how he or she wishes to celebrate their Olympic success, and there are no plans to issue any instructions," a spokesman for the association said. "We are confident that every athlete will celebrate in a responsible way."

If that was true, you wouldn't be telling people how to behave.

The USOC's anxiety at overexuberant displays of jingoism...

Is that the P.C. term for "celebration" now? I want to hear that in everyday language.

"Hey, it's my friend's birthday, and we were thinking of having a surprise overexuberant display of jingoism for him! Are you coming?"

...is a far cry from scenes at the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, where the American flag became the defining symbol of the Games. A different environment awaits the American team in Athens, where officials are anxious to replace apple pie with humble pie.

Did Maureen Dowd write this?

Americans were booed at the World Athletics Championships in Paris last year largely because of Jon Drummond's histrionic protest at his disqualification from a heat of the 100 meters.

Yeah, it couldn't have had anything to do with the fact that they were in FRANCE. Everybody loved America there before Drummond showed up.

Also, at an Olympic soccer qualifying match in Mexico earlier this year, the American team was subjected to sustained razzing by a section of the crowd, including chants of "Osama, Osama!"

So soccer fans now represent world opinion? Thanks for that bit of information. Next time there's a soccer riot, we can blame it on capitalism.

"We're not the favorite kid in the world right now," conceded Bill Martin, the USOC's acting president.

We're not supposed to be! It's called "jealousy," and it's a sign of success! Don't you remember what happened to the popular kids in elementary school? They ended up in prison and drug rehab! Do you want to be the popular kid, or the unpopular nerd who goes on to be a trillionaire?

"We are sensitive not only to the security issue, but to jingoism in its raw sense. That is why we are sending people around to educate the athletes as to the appropriate behavior."

How dumb are people going to get before God steps in and decides that we can't handle the planet anymore? I'm starting to get the feeling that we're short on time.

In any case, why are we even competing in the olympics if we're not allowed to celebrate? Doesn't that defeat the purpose of being there in the first place?

Maybe it's just so everyone can have fun. As long as nobody's feeeeeeelings are hurt.

Posted by CD on May 16, 2004 09:00 PM
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