September 28, 2004

Dorm Room Politics

Just because I'm avoiding studying for as long as possible, I thought I'd provide some highlights from a conversation I just had with my roommate. This may be one of those "you had to be there" things,'s my blog, and I was there, so that gives me the authority to write about it.

NS= Roommate
CD= CD (obviously)
Quotation marks= One of us doing an impression of a politician
Horizontal line= New segment
As always, this is not verbatim, but the important parts are at least close

CD: The debates are gonna be great, because Bush and Kerry are both such horrible public speakers. It'll be like a car accident; You want to look away, but you can't. I mean, Bush will be answering questions nobody asked, and Kerry will be debating his own answers to the questions from 20 minutes ago.

"Senator Kerry, you said earlier that you still would've gone to war with Iraq even if you knew that Saddam didn't have WMD. Could you explain that?"

"What? I never said that! Are you working for Karl Rove?"

NS: "Well, when I was in Vietnam..."

NS: I'm looking forward to the vice presidential debates. Edwards is a good public speaker...

CD: But he doesn't say anything.

NS: He'll be like, "You need to vote for me," and Cheney will just be like, "Yeah...shut the f**k up."

CD: Cheney's going to massacre Edwards. He'll probably end up saying, "I have better hair, so I think I should be the winner of this debate."

CD: Do you realize that the entire outcome of the debate could be determined by when the questions are asked? If one of them is a second too late, Kerry will have a completely different position. It's one of those chaos theory things. If a butterfly flaps its wings in Beijing, Kerry will be against the war.

NS: Kerry probably flips a coin in the morning to decide what he believes. "Okay, heads is for the war, tails is against...IT'S TAILS! AGAINST!"

Posted by CD on September 28, 2004 09:35 PM
Category: 2004 Election
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