October 26, 2004

Where's Technology When You Need It?

Does anybody know how to build a machine that stops time? Because that's about the only way I'll be able to do everything I need to do in the next 2 weeks.

By the way, if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm too busy to post just about anything other than this crap. I don't like the fact that the most stressful 2 weeks of my life also happen to include the most important presidential election of my lifetime, but...hey, priorities, man. Don't expect a lot of punditry until mid-November. And even then, I may take a total hiatus. We'll see.

...We'll see.

Posted by CD on October 26, 2004 09:19 PM
Category: College
Semi-Intelligent Comments

Aah, college. I remember it well!

Complaining about it only wastes time. Wait, maybe it's just a dream...


Nope. Yer stuck with it. Hunker down, m'boy!

(I'd say "good luck", but I don't believe in luck...)

Posted by: Tuning Spork at October 26, 2004 10:25 PM

Actually, drinking does slow time. See, due to the opacity of whiskey (see my site) whiskey actually slows the speed of light down by almost a third. Using Einstein, we can prove that as we get closer to the speed of light, time dilates, allowing more time to pass than we observe, so by inversion, the closer the speed of light gets to US (we are standing still, mind you) time must necessarrily slow down for the universe, while we can proggress faster. Of course, this effect is negated somewhat by the fact that the body cannot cope with said time dilation so we feel dizzy, nauseous and on occasion like we can fly, or that if we don't hold on to the ground that the earth will vomit us back into deep space. So, on balance, i'd say skip the alcohol until you're legal and until third year at least, because that's when it starts REALLY getting fun.


Posted by: tommy at October 27, 2004 12:38 AM


Posted by: Army NCO Guy at October 27, 2004 07:47 PM

yeah, i get that a lot. Actually they usually just shake their heads and walk away while muttering.

Posted by: tommy at October 27, 2004 08:28 PM

....this is why i don't drink...

Posted by: Katherine at October 27, 2004 11:05 PM
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