ATTENTION, MORONS: LEAVE YOUR PARALLEL UNIVERSE NOW

I used to think some people were living in a fantasy world, but now it's become clear to me that they actually inhabit an entirely separate universe in which many events are the exact opposite of what they are here. Take, for example, the following letter to the New York Times, which somehow found its way from their reality to ours:

Re "So What Happened in That Election, Anyhow?" (Week in Review, Jan. 2):

What happened in the election was that Democrats continue to play politics as if it were a gentleman's game.

See what I mean?

They are polite to the opposition and, despite a decade of vicious abuse, expect Republicans to be polite to them.

Unbelievable. Unbefrigginlievable. In the aftermath of an election where the former vice president compared Bush to Hitler, numerous politicians lied about their patriotism being questioned, a news anchor attacked the president's service to the country with forged documents, a Democratic group called for the death of Donald Rumsfeld, and the actual Democratic candidate called the Republican party crooked liars, people are trying to claim that Democrats are too nice.

The preceding rant was brought to you by the letters W, T, and F. Now, let's move on...dot org:

Democratic pundits booked onto news programs smile at their adversaries and make reasoned arguments;

Once again: Parallel freakin' universe. Why does the phrase "pack of lies" keep popping into my head when I read the above sentence? Hmmmm...

...their counterparts on the right smile back and then spew a torrent of lies and invective.

Such as...what? Unless you think that James Carville and Chris Matthews are hardcore conservatives, I really don't follow this line of reasoning at all.

(And before anyone mentions O'Reilly, remember that he's just a narcissistic douchebag, not a conservative)

John Kerry politely overlooked the distasteful facts of George W. Bush's first term...

Yep. That's exactly what I thought when he said, "This president doesn't have a record to run on, but a record to run from." Unless "overlooked the distasteful facts" means "didn't bother to cite any facts in the midst of his attacks," you're pretty much still living in another universe.

...starting with the bald lies about committing our troops to war.

Oh, you mean the "lies" he endorsed, repeated, and voted for? Those ones?

Why didn't Mr. Kerry pound on the administration's lies day after day?

Because, much like you, he chose to make up his own lies instead of criticizing things that had actually happened.

Why didn't he scream from the mountaintop about its hubris and unbelievable incompetence?

Because if people wanted that, they would've nominated Mad How. It was an election, not a frickin' movie.

It wouldn't have taken much to defeat George Bush, just the truth.

And, to further solidify my "parallel universe" argument, we have this last line. It seems to me that the truth was exactly what caused Bush to be re-elected. Truths like "Iraq and Afghanistan are free" and "the economy is recovering." You know, true truths.

On another note, I just realized that all my political posts are about the election, even though it's been over for two months. I can't seem to get interested in anything else that's happening. I strive on conflict (I am an aspiring screenwriter, after all), and without an election on the horizon, it just doesn't seem exciting enough sometimes. Hmm. Oh, well. The inauguration is coming up soon. There will be lots of ignorant protesters to ridicule.

Heh heh.

Posted by CD on January 4, 2005 01:26 AM
Category: Fiskings