March 31, 2005

I Am Not An Animal!

You know what I absolutely friggin' love about this time of year? The tours. At a large, prestigious university like Syracuse, there are people touring the campus just about every day in the spring. And I think it's frickin' great.

Because, let's be honest, few things in this life can match the experience of having a bunch of high school seniors and their parents stare at you as if you're some kind of zoo exhibit. And I really enjoy going down to the dining hall for lunch to find a sea of gawking humanity blocking the entrance. It's even better when the genius tour guide decides to let them eat there instead of in the student center like they're supposed to.

I hope you've detected the sarcasm by now.

Anyway, I really just want to mess with these tours. Remember that "Scared Straight" program they used to show on MTV, where they would take juvenile delinquents into a prison and have the inmates swear at them until they promised to be good? It would be fun to randomly pull that stuff on unsuspecting tourists:

"So, you want to go to SU, do ya? Well, you'd better watch yo'self, foo'! As soon as your parents leave, you belong to me...bitch!"

Seriously, wouldn't that be the most hilarious thing ever? I think so.

(NOTE: Yes, I did tour this school myself before I decided to apply, but I went during the summer like normal people.)

Posted by CD on March 31, 2005 01:40 PM
Category: College
Semi-Intelligent Comments

Sounds rough, but it's worse spending four years as an actual tourist attraction. Believe me. :)

Posted by: BD at March 31, 2005 03:56 PM

it WOULD be a good time to just yell "Fuck" a la Ben Folds. Yes, i want to do that every time i see one up here.


Posted by: tommy at March 31, 2005 06:29 PM

A year or so ago at our school, just in time for tours, the New England weather was such that there were slightly milder temps in the day, and below freezing temps at night. A group of our upstanding students took advantage of the slushiness of the once-frozen solid lake (directly in front of the showpiece building), right before a big freeze. For a good portion of the tour season, parents and prospective students were greeted by a very large, and carefully crafted ice phallus.

It really was amusing to watch them all walk by and react. I still have no idea why the university didn't do something to get rid of it.

Posted by: Katherine at March 31, 2005 10:16 PM

That's classic, right there. Good on them.

Posted by: Army NCO Guy at April 1, 2005 10:04 AM

Hey, congrats on 40,000, CD. Just noticed.

Posted by: Army NCO Guy at April 1, 2005 10:04 AM
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