August 29, 2006

Class Report

So...I've now had three of my four classes. Allow me to post some first impressions.

The first class of the day was U.S. Foreign Policy, which apparently means "let's talk about how all the foreign policy events of the past 200 years are related to Iraq." The professor (who used to work for the State Department or something) was going through the usual poli-sci "I'll try to keep my opinions out of the lecture" speech when he shared the following:

"For the record, I am a left wing liberal."

Wait, what? A liberal teaching a college course? MY MIND IS FUCKING BLOWN.


He spent some time explaining how, in his view, "neoconservatives" are essentially people who realized that they shouldn't have supported Communism and decided that it was necessary to punish the former Soviet Union. He also felt that he needed to mention that "many of them are Jewish." I assume he said that as a way to discuss Israel (which he did shortly after), but it was still kind of weird.

The guy seems okay though. He just has problems projecting his voice, which half forces you to pay attention and half makes you want to walk up to the front and hand him a bullhorn. Also, he looks like a cross between Donald Rumsfeld and Droopy Dog, which I found hilarious for some reason. Look at this and tell me I'm wrong. Seriously.

The second class was Anthropological Theory, a.k.a. the token bullshit arts and sciences elective for the semester. Before I write about the class itself, I feel it's my duty to mention some odd moments that preceded it.

You see, one of the students in the class is a woman who appears to be between 40 and 55 years old. She's also a bit on the heavy side and has a constant froglike facial expression (if you ever saw the Keystone Light "bitter beer face"'s kinda like that). In addition, she had her bag and stuff in some sort of cartlike contraption. Basically, she looked not unlike a homeless person who had wandered in off the street, and since this class was in a building about half a block from a popular panhandling area, this actually seemed plausible.

Being bored and not knowing anyone in the class, I decided to make up a backstory in my head that explained her presence, and I ended up with some crazy theory about how the cart was full of cats and old shoes that she throws at people when they don't give her money. I actually had to fight back laughter when I looked at her after that. She eventually introduced herself and described some serious archaeological work she's done, but I think I'm going to put a crazy cat cart lady in the next Bob and Joe story.


The class started, and the professor turned out to be another stereotypical old balding dude with the most ridiculous Boston accent ever. I know a few people from Boston, and I always thought that "pahk the cah at Hahvad Yahd" crap was just a joke, but...holy crap. He actually talks like that. He even made a point of how people have trouble understanding him in New York or something.

Anyway, he managed to force us into the usual dumbass "get to know each other by interviewing the person next to you and introducing them to the class" thing, but he justified it by telling us to conduct an "anthropological interview." That really helps those of us who are COMMUNICATIONS MAJORS, MORON!

Luckily, the dude I talked to turned out to be a newspaper major who is also taking the class as a bullshit elective, and (refer back to my "requesting social advice" post) we managed to have a decent conversation without me saying anything awkward and/or fucktarded. Apparently, I'd have lots of friends if I was forced to interview them upon meeting them. Maybe I should start carrying around a notepad when I'm in social situations.

Anyway, this class angers me, because there's a bunch of required reading that we have to go to the library to access (I think), and he scheduled a couple "required" university lectures that conflict with marching band rehearsal. The class that I'm placing the least importance on in the grand scheme of...this semester...shouldn't involve that amount of out of class crap. But I'll survive.

The last class of the day (after a nice four hour break) was Communications Law. The professor just came right out and told us that she realizes nobody looks forward to taking the class (it's a requirement) and that it's rumored to be very hard, which is why they save it for the senior year. At the same time, however, she seems rather condescending and does that little pitch raising thing at the end of sentences. She also puts all necessary handouts on top of the projector at the beginning of class and calls it "the buffet." Ooooookay.

This class is going to be painful, I think, because she said she runs it like a business. She's a former lawyer who knows a bunch of crap about the corporate world, and she tries to create that kind of environment to prepare us for the future. Apparently, we'll be learning how to negotiate and work toward the goals of our group at all times, and we have to write "memos" instead of papers.

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you may have figured out that I fucking despise the whole "business" thing. I am an artist, not a drone. I would blow my brains out before working in a cube farm or something, and the whole concept of memos and meetings and such makes me want to vomit out my digestive tract in some futile, last-ditch attempt to avoid being condemned to the hell of the 9-to-5 world. Just reading Dilbert or watching Office Space kind of makes me want to curl up and die.

Needless to say, I'm not thrilled about her ideas, but I assume that the "law" part of the class is rather essential for the future. Still...fuck business. Fuck it in the ass. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I create the product. Let the mindless lackeys negotiate for distribution. I just want credit for my damn ideas.

No offense to people who actually work in business, of course. I just...can't grasp the concept of living such a linear life. More power to you if that's your thing, but it ain't mine.

I think I have some syllabi to review now.

Posted by CD on August 29, 2006 10:07 PM | TrackBack
Category: College
Semi-Intelligent Comments

so you know, i feel the same way ebout business, and i now work in a cube farm as tech support. It's actually kinda fun. All of the good points about a cube farm (of which there are precious few) but all of us are engineers, and so are all bent about the sae direction. At any rate, the relevant thing is that today i had to fill out my HR bullshit "goals and methods" crap to determine how often i get promoted/a raise/not shitcanned. I actually felt dirty after writing less than a humdred words or HRese. Like 50 scalding hot showers dirty. So i commiserate with you. "Memos?!?!?!" God luck, man, good luck.


Posted by: tommy at August 29, 2006 11:59 PM
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