If you ever find yourself pondering whether or not this world we live in is truly just, consider the following facts:
One of the tards on my floor is fond of loudly singing/talking to himself almost nonstop in the bathroom. And yet, if I were to tell him to shut the fuck up, or even ask him politely to keep it down, I would be considered the rude one.
There is no justice, my friends.
- John Ashcroft is giving a speech in the SU student center as I type this. I won't be surprised if he ends up with a pie in his face at some point, since that seems to be the favored method of protesting conservative guests on college campuses these days.
- I just killed a fucking centipede in my room. It was conveniently climbing up the wall next to my bed (mere inches from my guitar bag), which is a really fucking great location for something like that. Really. Damn it, now I'm going to be paranoid for the next three days. Fuck nature.
- Final thought: Remember when I used to write interesting, detailed posts on this blog, and then people would read them and discuss them in the comments, then other people would link to them on their own blogs and discuss them there, to the point that I had a minor fan base and at least a dozen daily readers?
That was awesome.
Hey, who wants to guess how many times the fire alarm in my dorm has gone off in the past week?
If you said "three," you're right! The most recent, of course, was at 7:00 this morning!
Needless to say (but I'm going to say it anyway, which is kinda weird), I'm extremely tired right now. The next time that fucking alarm goes off and it isn't because the building is genuinely burning to the ground, I'm going to find the person/people responsible and do violent things to them.
I somehow managed to hurt my back in the process of sleeping.
Sleeping. The least physical activity it's possible to do.
This really isn't a good sign.
You know, when I've just started to eat dinner, sometimes I get the urge to go STAND OUT IN THE COLD RAIN FOR 15 MINUTES instead.
So thanks, Haven Hall, for making my wish come true.
Tired, tired, tired, tired, tired of college now.
I can't even be back at school for a couple hours without something weird happening. I love it.
To explain: I got back to my dorm around 4:30 this afternoon. About 10 minutes ago, I decided to head down to the dining hall for some dinner. I stepped out of the elevator on the first floor to find about eight firefighters (in full gear) and a bunch of fellow students gathered around the elevator right next to mine, and they all kind of stared at me as I walked past. I was too freaked out to even ask what was going on, so I just kept walking.
I'm guessing that the elevator in question broke down with people in it, and the others were waiting to use one, thinking that they were all shut down. I guess my exiting a different one made them realize that they were mistaken.
Trust me when I say that it was more interesting being there than reading about it. Maybe I'd describe it better if I'd actually gotten some sleep in the last day. Fucking 6 hour drive to school disrupting my nocturnal nature. Late morning and early afternoon are for sleeping, damn it.
This is the third version of this song, but it's something I've wanted to do for a while.
Let me back up. As you may have guessed, I'm home for spring break. That means I have access to my drumset and my dad's recording equipment. I decided to take advantage of this by recording the first full version of Lounge Pirate (I consider this my best song, so what better choice for an update?).
I started by laying down two tracks of drums using professional-quality microphones and a Tascam portable studio. I fucked up the placement a little and lost some of the snare, but it still sounds better than GarageBand loops. Also, this was the first time I played drums since November, so I couldn't do as much cool stuff as I'd be capable of with more warmup time, but I think it sounds pretty good.
I then recorded guitar and bass directly into the Tascam. I had to use all 6 remaining tracks, so it took a while. Due to the aforementioned mic placement issues, getting a good balance was a little difficult, but everything seems to come through if you adjust the volume right. Worth noting is the fact that I used this as an opportunity to test the "Criminal" PODxt amp (based on a Peavey 5150) on the rhythm guitar tracks. It sounds a little spongier than I expected, but it serves its purpose.
I won't go into the other details; Just check out the recording:
As usual, comments are encouraged.
Also, I recorded the drums from "Master of Puppets" (or at least my rendition of them, since I don't feel like emulating Lars Ulrich precisely in any way), and as soon as I can actually play through that song on guitar, I'll try to get a cover made. I'm not sure how I could post it, though...
This is new. A (presumably drunk) dude just said "yo, what's up nigger?" to me in the hallway. He then proceeded to pace around for a few seconds chanting some unintelligible shit and hooting. I should also note that there are four five empty beer cans in one of the toilets in the men's room.
10 hours until spring break...
So, uh...here's an important lesson I've been learning over the past few weeks:
If you're taking a screenwriting class, it's probably not the best idea to attempt to write a film where the protagonist is a defense attorney and part of the plot revolves around an important trial unless you're prepared to spend a fuckload of time researching the legal system.
What the fuck was I thinking? Every time I start to get into a groove with the plot, I'm slowed down by the realization that I don't know that much about the subjects I'm attempting to write about.
I know it's a long shot, but is anyone out there willing to help me out with this? I really could use some pointers about how to portray the life of a lawyer. You'll receive credit in the script, and maybe even on the big screen (one of the requirements of this class is to send the script to an agent or a contest, so there's a very slight chance that this may actually be made into a film someday).
I guess I'll fake my way through it until I figure out something else...
I write a lot about how pathetic my complete lack of a social life is, but having no friends/relationships does come with one huge advantage:
NO DRAMA WHATSOEVER.
Every time I overhear someone's angry cell phone conversation in the lounge/hallway (which happens a lot, especially around 3 AM on weekends), I take a second to remind myself that I never have to deal with that type of stuff because everyone pretty much ignores me.
This still doesn't eliminate the frustration of isolation on the occasion that I'm actually feeling social or the mental distress caused by the increasing likelihood that I'm going to die alone and unloved, but it's something.
On a related note, every time I work on a post like this, my inner sarcastic asshole screams "HEY, MAYBE PEOPLE WOULD LIKE YOU MORE IF YOU STOPPED WHINING ABOUT HOW LONELY YOU ARE, YOU STUPID FUCKSTICK!"
On the other hand, only one person who has met me in real life reads this, so...fuck you, voice in my head. I'll do what I want.
Wait...am I so lonely that I've resorted to having a conversation with myself on my own blog? Sweet mother of fuck, I need a girlfriend. I think I'm going to create an "Emo" category for these posts...
You know, it's weird to look at the frequency with which I use "fuck" and "shit" on this blog and then compare it to my posts from a few years ago when I censored everything and used various substitutes.
I think college has corrupted me.
Incidentally, this tendency has started to spill over into my normal life. I think the realization hit me when we briefly flipped to "Who Wants to Be A Millionaire?" while waiting for people to come to our audition and the contestant was so dumb that I shouted "you fucking piece of shit!" at the screen. I wonder what the people who made fun of me in high school for being afraid to swear would say now...
Something just occurred to me...
Two weeks from today (the first day of classes after spring break), I have to start looking for a job. Like...a real, full-time job. And numerous people have told me that my best bet is to start looking for contacts in Los Angeles.
Holy. Fucking. Shit. Where did my youth go, and why did I waste it?
Also, considering the fact that I'm preparing to search for a career in film, WHY THE HELL AM I STILL TAKING BULLSHIT LIBERAL ARTS COURSES THAT ARE A BIG FAT WASTE OF MY FUCKING TIME?!
Two months until graduation. Shit.
(In case you can't tell, my thought process is extremely fucked up at the moment, and the past couple weeks have been somewhat surreal. Just bear with me, people)
Why do people say they're going to show up to something and then fail to show up?
As you may have guessed, I just got back from sitting in a classroom for four fucking hours waiting for people to come and audition for our film, but once again, we got nothing. Our only option now is to try and recruit freshmen from TRF intro classes. Hoofuckingray.
I hate people.
I just got back from the audition I mentioned in the last post. Or at least it was supposed to be an audition. Those generally go more smoothly when actors actually show up. This one, however, consisted of the three of us sitting in a classroom for hours watching TV on the projector screen (while I was there, we got through Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, and part of Back to the Future).
Between 5 PM and 9 PM, nobody came in. We still have no cast for this film. We're having another "audition" between 3 and 7 tomorrow, and at least two people are supposed to show up, but...man. This is kind of depressing. Out of 15,000 students, you'd think at least two of them (the main roles) would be available for this.
Some of you may question my complete lack of faith in humanity and/or my inability to trust/tolerate a substantial portion of it. The reason is that people do fucked up and retarded things on a daily basis for no apparent reason.
Let me explain the situation that is currently pissing me off. I'm in another film production class this semester, and my group is holding auditions for the lead roles in our project this week. One guy made a really cool flyer advertising the auditions, and I printed out a copy and put it on my dorm room door. Seems logical, right? More exposure means more chances of getting qualified actors.
A couple days ago, I was sitting at the computer when I heard what sounded like tape being peeled off the door. The next time I checked, the flyer was gone. I later noticed that it was now on the door to the lounge, although it was pretty ripped up. I was pissed off, but I just printed out another copy and put that on my door, figuring that someone may have slipped while walking by and was too embarrassed to stay near the room. I do live right next to the elevators, so it's a high-traffic area.
Fast forward to this evening. I was sitting here minding my own business, and I again heard a ripping sound. The replacement flyer was also targeted, apparently, because the top right corner is now missing, although it's still readable, so I left it up. I also noticed a dried yellow spot in the top center, as if someone sneezed on it or otherwise transferred nasal mucus to it somehow.
What the fuck?
What the fucking fuck?
What the fucking fucking fucking motherFUCK?!
Who the fuck does stupid shit like this and considers it okay? I know it's a relatively small thing, but...FUCK! My door is my damn property as long as I'm living here, and so is something I used my own printer to make. It's not like I'm somehow offending you by taping a sheet of paper to my motherfucking door because I want to do well in a motherfucking film class.
Incidentally, other people have stuff taped to their doors, and as far as I can tell, this hasn't happened to anyone else, so you can probably understand that I'm a bit paranoid about this. I don't even know anyone on this floor, and I try to keep to myself because a few of them (see my Claptard/Seat Shitter posts from last semester) weird me out. This means that as far as I know, nobody has any kind of grudge against me.
So...what the fuck? I can't think of a logical explanation other than the obvious fact that human beings are fucking stupid as shit. I swear some of the people on this floor should be wearing helmets.
If anything else happens, I'm thinking of putting up a smaller piece of paper with some kind of message. Something like:
Dear shit-eating fucktard,If you have a problem with these flyers, try talking to me about it instead of being a passive-aggressive asshole. Thanks.
- Chris
That might be too forward, though. Thoughts?