November 09, 2006

I Will Not Miss Communal Living

Remember how I referred to the people on my floor a couple years ago as "The Chimps?" I think this year's batch is going to be known from now on as The Tard Squad. They're not inhumanly annoying like The Chimps, but a few of them (I'm not sure how many because I hear them more than I see them) act like they have at least mild mental difficulties.

One of the main offenders, who is pissing me off at this moment, is the guy who sits by himself in the lounge and watches sports. This wouldn't be a big deal, except he apparently feels the need to cheer and clap every time something good happens (and sometimes, when the game isn't going well, he repeatedly yells "what the FUCK?!"). I understand the whole "getting into the game" thing, but the fact that he's in there alone just makes it weird and a little pathetic. It's like he thinks the players can hear him or something. I usually picture him as Special Ed from "Crank Yankers."


The second, less pleasant example of retardation is...well, I won't go into too much detail, but one or more of the guys on this floor have horrifying bathroom habits. I kinda hope it's more than one of them, because I find it hard to believe that one person could fill a toilet/stall with paper and/or shit on the seat (yes, you read that right. Shit. On. The seat.) dozens of times without learning to do things differently. And for the love of fuck, people, learn to flush!

I know I said I'd like to go through college again with all my shiny new social skills, but on the other hand...I'm really looking forward to never living with this many people again.

I was just in the lounge getting some water, and the claptard had one of his friends with him. They had an enlightening conversation consisting only of "that's too good!" and "holy shit!" repeated over and over.

Posted by CD on November 9, 2006 10:24 PM | TrackBack
Category: College
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