January 01, 2007

New SIT Feature: How to Argue On the Internet

It occurs to me that I've spent a lot of time discussing general logical fallacies on this blog, but not a lot of time on stuff specific to online debate. Therefore, I'm starting off 2007 with a brand new feature called "How to Argue On the Internet."

Today's lesson: Spelling out punctuation makes you correct.

Do you ever find yourself debating important issues with people who just won't accept that their ridiculous opinions are stupid and possibly evil? Isn't it frustrating when they won't admit that they've been lying about the true nature of the world? Well, there is a solution, and it's so simple that I'm amazed more people haven't figured it out.

Just as an example, let's say you're trying to convince your jingoistic chickenhawk adversaries that the war in Iraq was/is wrong. You start by simply stating the facts:

"The war in Iraq was wrong."

But those morons still don't believe you! I know it's difficult to deal with, but this can easily be turned into a Teachable Moment with the addition of one simple word. Observe:

"The war in Iraq was wrong. Period."

And that's all there is to it! How can they argue with you now? By concluding your argument with the word "period," you've effectively ended the discussion and made disagreement impossible! With this simple yet elegant tool, you can finally make all your fantasies reality, and nobody can dispute their truth and brilliance! Just look at these hypothetical examples if you still don't believe me:

- Killing is always wrong. Period.

- Guns are bad. Period.

- George W. Bush is the worst president ever. Period.

- Fidel Castro is a great and honest leader. Period.

- The sky is a light shade of green. Period.

- Flibbity flobbity floo. Period.

Now that you're armed with this amazing rhetorical device, you'll never lose an argument again!

That's all for this edition of "How to Argue On the Internet."


(FINAL NOTE: This may or may not signal a return to more politically oriented blogging rather than "hey guys, listen to this cool song I wrote while I whine about not having a girlfriend!" I haven't decided yet.)

Posted by CD on January 1, 2007 10:03 PM | TrackBack
Category: How to Argue On the Internet
Semi-Intelligent Comments

Flibbity flobbity floo. Period.


Posted by: Army NCO Guy at January 7, 2007 02:46 PM
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