Housing Humor

I may have mentioned this earlier, but I'm currently going through the craptastic process of finding housing for next year. Syracuse has a 2-year "you have to live in the dorms" policy, so my choices are kind of limited.

I think I also mentioned that I don't have anybody to room with at the moment, which severely decreases my chances of getting my first choice (Or, the liberal version of that sentence: "Their policy is biased against introverts!!!").

Luckily, the school has a name for situations like this: "Roommate dilemmas." Outside the housing office, there's a board where you can post a card stating your "dilemma" and what kind of room/roommate you're looking for. Thanks to this, I have some brief anecdotes to share.

First of all, the fun began as soon as I saw the board. The message at the top was something like this:

"Looking for the perfect roommate? Need to find someone to complete a group? Trying to squat your room, but can't fill it to capacity? These all sound like...
ROOMMATE DILEMMA'S!"

Yes, that apostrophe was intentional. Somebody actually took the time to put an apostrophe IN A WORD WHERE IT DIDN'T BELONG! Whatever happened to "higher education?" Shouldn't someone have noticed this by now? Someone with the authority to take out an unnecessary apostrophe?

...Don't worry, that was the least funny of the stories. The rest will be better. BUT...You have to go to the extended entry to read them! Bwahahaha!!!

After I contained my urge to kick somebody in the head for apostrophe abuse, I actually started looking at the various cards, hoping that one of them would reflect what I was looking for. However, I forgot that this is college, and there's about a -75% chance that nobody will abuse any method of message posting.

Anyway, the first card I read said something like:

"I'm looking for two hot roommates who like to take showers together."

Who takes the time to write these stupid things?

I almost gave up after seeing that, but fortunately, the rest of them were real. I wrote down the information from a couple, but I also decided to put up my own just in case someone else was looking for a roommate. Mine was something like:

"I need someone to fill a split double. I'm fairly quiet and can keep my side clean if I have to. My reservation # is in the sophomore range."

I also included my name and e-mail address so people could contact me. Sounds pretty simple, right?

Well, today, I checked my e-mail, and there was one entitled Housing. The guy who wrote it was looking for one more person to fill a 4-room suite. I was kind of interested, but then this line jumped out at me:

"We like to keep things pretty clean, but still partake in the weed and booze activities."

At least he's honest. Here's the response I just sent him about half an hour ago:

" I think I'm going to pass on this one (I try to stay away from "weed and booze activities"), but thanks for the offer."

Why is the one person who contacted me a frickin' drug user?! Dang it.

All hope is not lost, though. I also got in contact with another person trying to fill a split double, and that might work out, but I'm not positive. However, there's a catch.

When I first saw his name on the card, it sounded a bit familiar. Eventually, I realized that I recognized him from my math class. Great! I can talk to him in person!

...But wait! I'm pretty sure I recognize him as the guy I like to call "Annoying Voice Dude." Why? Because he has a REALLY annoying voice. He pronounces the word "two" like "tee-ooo." WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME?

...Oh, well. I'd be willing to put up with him if it gets me out of the dorm I'm in now. Know why they call it "the highest hall on campus?" Because you have to climb 100 FRIGGIN' STAIRS to get up here! Do you have any idea what it's like being an overweight asthmatic in a cold climate and having to walk up 100 stairs 3 times a day? DO YOU?!

...I think I'm done now.

Posted by CD on March 18, 2004 07:05 PM
Category: