This Can't Possibly Be Serious

Please tell me this is a hoax:

Schools warned over sunny trips

Children are used to being told a trip is being postponed because of the vagaries of Britain's rainy summers.

But now schools in Derby are being told to consider cancelling trips in good weather because of the risk of sunburn.

Tell me, when should they take trips, then? Maybe they should abolish them altogether. After all, someone could fall down and get hurt.

Derby City Council issued the guidelines because of the link between sunburn when young and increased risk of skin cancer in later life.

It said teachers should consider "postponing or cancelling events... in periods of excessive sun".

"We have to protect The Children™! We can't let them have fun, because they might get cancer from actually being outside!"

Seriously, tell me this is a joke. Have you people heard of sunscreen? Or shade? Or moderation? What kind of crap is this?

The guidelines also advised to teachers to "try to plan external activities, for example, short duration trips, external lessons and sports days, for times when the sun is likely to be at its lowest strength - and the temperature at its lowest".

Okay, that makes a bit more sense, but I think they're overreacting just a little.

Teachers should also consider keeping a supply of maximum factor suncream to spray onto pupils, although they are told not to rub it in for fear of being accused of inappropriate contact.

"Bad touch! Bad touch!"

The National Union of Teachers recently told teachers to take a "common sense" approach to protecting their charges from the sun in the face of increasing risk of legal action.

Legal action? For what? Next, they'll try to sue the Sun.

One parent told BBC Radio Derby: "People are going absolutely crackers - teachers should be able to take children out any time of the day or night, whenever they feel like it."

"Absolutely crackers?" I haven't heard that one. I may have to use it sometime.

Another parent said: "I always put sunscreen on my little girl anyway, so I am not worried.

Oh, but you don't understand. See, the schools can't trust you with your own child, because you're not employed by the government. Don't you know that the government always knows what's best? How dare you suggest that you know more about parenting than the City Council!

"They are making something out of nothing really."

Ladies and gentlemen, I present the smartest person in Britain^.

A spokesman for the council told BBC News Online: "This was issued in response to requests from schools using government advice that is several years old already.

"We hope the result will be that children are protected from skin cancer not that children's activities are curtailed."

Judging by past situations like this, I'm guessing the next bit of news will be "Fun Causes Cancer."

This is yet another reason why I'll probably never leave North America.

Posted by CD on June 4, 2004 08:10 PM
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