You should all know by now that when I say "I'm probably not going to blog this week," it really means "I'm going to blog, but it's not going to be interesting." Anyway...
I'm sure many of you avid blog readers out there have seen that Frank J. and SarahK are engaged. I saw this coming, but I didn't expect it to happen so fast. And on that note, I'm afraid I have to offer my own brief commentary on the event. I'll put it in the extended entry for all you idealists out there.
Anyway, I don't think it'll last. Honestly, how long have they been together? Six, seven months? That's not enough time. I know enough about human psychology to realize that they're still in the "honeymoon" phase of their relationship. Eventually, the spark is going to go away, and they'll have to come to grips with all the little flaws and idiosyncrasies they never noticed before.
You may think I'm just bitter because I'm 20 years old and have yet to get a girlfriend, but I'm friggin' serious. It takes more than six months to decide whether you want to spend your life with someone. They may be "The Blogosphere's Cutest Couple" now, but by this time next year...I really don't know.
I give 'em four months. Maybe eight. If I'm wrong, more power to them...but I really don't think it's going to last.
Now that I've pissed in everyone's Corn Flakes, I'll understand if you think less of me...but life is hard.
Posted by CD on March 28, 2005 06:19 PMIt takes more than six months to decide whether you want to spend your life with someone.
I used to very much agree with that, and I used to have no respect whatsoever for people who rushed into marriage. In the Army, you see so many marriages fail because people get married in a big hurry, often for the wrong reasons. So I was real skittish about rushing into my own marriage, petrified that I was making a huge mistake- not in that I thought I was marrying the wrong girl, but because I didn't want to be in that same group and be destined for failure.
Well, God works things out. I had the comfort of the Holy Spirit on my side, so I knew I wasn't making a mistake- and here I am, having just celebrated my third anniversary. My marriage has been through ups and downs, a seven-month trip to the 'Stan, kids, and now I'm in Central America- trust me, God can work things out.
So. I won't quote odds on Frank and Sarah making it or not. I've learned not to do that even with people I know. If they didn't walk with God, I wouldn't think they would have much of a shot, but I guess that's where I'm a cynic- I have no idea how non-Christians make marriage work. It just doesn't seem possible, from my own perspective, anyway. But they at least have that going for them- they're both Christians, and may God bless their marriage.
Posted by: Army NCO Guy at March 29, 2005 10:20 AMI agree that that does make a difference. They've already managed to work out the Catholic/Protestant thing. I'm just wondering if they'll be able to deal with the change in perception that happens after about 8 months when the emotional high starts to wear off. They'll each have to get used to the actual person at the other end of the relationship, rather than the idealized version they're in love with now.
I'm just citing psychological principles here. Again, I sincerely hope that I'm wrong. If anyone can beat the odds, it's them. We'll see.
Also, congrats on your third anniversary!
Posted by: CD at March 29, 2005 10:57 AMWell, maybe I have a weird marriage, but it didn't take us anything close to eight months for the "change in perception" to take place. It was more like two.
But the advantage we had is we knew to expect it. Anybody that thinks the bride and groom will never change into different people needs marriage counseling, quick. They're in for a shock.
Oh, and thanks. I was gonna post a note on my anniversary on th' ol' blog but I was in transit, trying to get home. Then the Great Bloggy Slump happened, and well, you know...
Posted by: Army NCO Guy at March 29, 2005 12:14 PMI have to politely disagree with you, CD. Depending on the people, 6 months can be more than enough time.
I know people who have done it, and it's worked out quite well for them for years. I once worked with a woman who was about 12 when she saw a boy. She told everyone she was going to marry him, even though she hadn't even talked to him. She didn't see him again for 2 months. When they finally got introduced, they started dating. They survived the long distances of college, many ups and downs, and have been married for over 20 years.
On the other hand, I've known people who got engaged after a few years, and their relationships have failed miserably.
There's no formula for it.
Posted by: Katherine at March 29, 2005 04:33 PM