Political Roundup

Just for the heck of it, here's some quick commentary on a few of the issues I should have been blogging about lately, but haven't mentioned because I've been taking a political semi-hiatus. I know that your lives aren't complete until you know exactly what I think about things, after all.

- The "nuclear option" and resulting compromise: Just more proof that there is no Republican party in this country, only Democrats and Socialists. But the media sure loves those "maverick" Republicans, doesn't it? They're so much better than all the "extremist" judges who dare to take a position that Howard Dean wouldn't support. Speaking of which...

- Howard Dean's recent comments: I love this guy. He's the gift that keeps on giving. They might as well make Michael Moore the DNC chairman, and he'll have just as much credibility as Mad How. However, I kind of feel bad about it. If Democrats keep retreating from the mainstream like this, it'll give Republicans an excuse to move even further to the left than they already have. As much as I enjoy schadenfreude, I think that someone is going to have to step in and bring both parties back down to earth sooner or later. But until then...keep up the lunacy, Howie. Now, on to a more serious note...

- Amnesty International's "gulag" comments: You've gotta be fucking kidding me. On one hand, you have the imprisonment of millions of innocent people who were subsequently used as slave labor and often starved to death in the middle of Siberia. On the other hand, you have a few hundred suspected terrorists who are treated better in Gitmo than they would be in their own country, and who may or may not have witnessed the "mishandling" of a book that they wouldn't have had if their captors hadn't given them out for free. If you can even begin to see more than the most basic similarities between the two, especially considering what those prisoners in Gitmo would do to even the useful idiots in AI if they had the chance, then you have no moral compass, and you are a disgusting excuse for a human being. And considering how I feel about human beings, that's saying a lot. Oh, by the way...ILLEGAL COMBATANTS AREN'T PROTECTED BY THE GENEVA CONVENTIONS, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!!!

- John Kerry's grades: Bwahaha! All this time, Senator Fuckup was portrayed as the brilliant foil to the smirking chimp in the White House, and now we find out that he actually did worse in college than Dubya. Bwahahahaha!!! In any case, looking at the grades of both these guys and knowing that they still made it so far makes me feel a lot better about my 3.5 GPA.

- "Deep Throat" revealed: Who fuckin' cares?! If I gave secret information to journalists, and they ended up naming me after a porn movie, I'd want to remain anonymous too. There's something about using that phrase to describe a 91 year-old guy that makes me feel just a little ill.

And in non-political news...

- Michael Jackson and Paris Hilton should fight to the death, and the winner should be rewarded with a one-way rocket ride to the center of the Sun.

Thank you.