Open Letter to the Kitchen Staff of Haven Dining Hall

Dear horrible human beings,

Congratulations. Just when I thought it wasn't possible, you fuckers managed to make both the food and the selection in your establishment worse than ever before. There's nothing quite like heading downstairs for dinner to find that the only real choices are Asian cuisine that's been sitting out for two days, grilled chunks of a rubbery substance that may or may not have been part of an animal at one point, and a chicken dish that's probably just leftovers from last week with a different name. Apparently, there's a rule that every single fucking entree must have some sort of chicken in it in order to be served here!!!

When you can make a fat bastard like me lose his appetite, you truly have reached a new low in food preparation. Once again, congratulations.

Also, fuck you.

Your pal,

CD

P.S.: Die in a fire.