March 09, 2009

Open Letter to Centipedes

Dear creepy bastards,

Stay the fuck out of my room if you value your worthless lives.

That is all.

- CD

I spent a few minutes looking for tips on eliminating centipedes, and some people seem to be of the opinion that you should leave them alone because they eat various insects (an argument we've all seen applied to spiders as well).

What's the point of this? Seriously. I don't like insects because they're annoying and disgusting. Spiders and centipedes, while they may indeed eliminate insects, are equally annoying and disgusting. In fact, the centipede I killed earlier was much bigger and more revolting than just about any insect I've ever seen. The thing had to be at least the size of my fucking index finger.

Again, what's the point? It's like saying that suicide can cure terminal cancer. In that case, you'll still end up dead, and in my case, I'll still have weird crawly bitey things scurrying around my living area and forcing me to waste valuable sheets of kleenex in destroying them.

I guess it's all part of the experience of living in an apartment, and I'll take these things over cockroaches any day (at least centipedes die when you attack them), but still...fuck nature.

Posted by CD on March 9, 2009 01:52 AM | TrackBack
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