Spoilers...
Ladies and gentlemen, for your entertainment, my impersonation of the Fayed death scene:
"Hi! I'm an extremely obvious tribute to Die Hard! In case the 'terrorist being strangled by a chain' thing doesn't make this clear enough, here's a reference to the terrorist's brother, who was also killed by the protagonist!"
Seriously. I half expected Fayed to come running back out at the last minute and get gunned down by Doyle.
Other than that, this episode kind of made up for last week's barely substandard performance, although the number of commercial breaks was fucking infuriating.
The fake car crash was...interesting. I'm not sure how they would plan for the possibility of, uh...DEATH with that strategy, but hey, that's fiction for you.
When they mentioned calling General Habib, my first thought was "how do you say 'flank two position' in Arabic?" I guess I was right about that one.
I'm really, really not sure about this stuff with Audrey and the Chinese. Three seasons with some element of those is a bit much.
Has anyone noticed that we never even find out where in the Middle East "Fayed's country" is, but it's apparently all right to portray China as unhealthily bent on vengeance? It all just seems a little forced.
But we shall see. Oh, yes. We shall see...
Spoilers...
You know, the problem with doing everything in real time is that sometimes it's necessary to have semi-filler episodes like this in order to maintain some semblance of realism. Ending the show with a huge-ass explosion doesn't fully make up for spending half the time on "you're a drunk!" "No I'm not!" "Yes, you are!" "No, I'm really not!!!"
That's just how I feel.
Anyway, I think it's rather obvious that Assad is dead, but Palmer will survive. However, he'll be in a coma for a few episodes, if not the rest of the season.
My prediction of Tom Lennox dying still stands. It should be interesting to see if Reed goes with him.
I see that the writers managed to work in the classic "have the antagonist explain his scheme and the motivations behind it to his cronies who should already know what's going on" scene with Gredenko. Come on, guys. There are better ways to handle exposition.
Logan is still a douchebag, and I hope he dies. Redemption be damned. Let whatever deity presides over the 24 universe sort it out.
I am very tired right now, and I think I'm getting sick again. Hooray.
Spoilers ahead...
Wow. The writers have managed to keep the show interesting by not killing off every major character who gets into a life threatening situation. Big improvement in creativity over last season.
I guess I was right about the assassination plot...although it was really pretty obvious. I doubt that they'll kill Palmer.
NEW PREDICTION: Assad will somehow manage to figure out the plot and will sacrifice himself to save the president, thereby fully redeeming his character or some shit.
Tom Lennox will die. That's pretty much a given.
Going back to something I wrote last week, Jack really needs to look back and realize how many times he's had to say "how could I have been so stupid?!"
I'm really not sure about this bringing Logan back business. From the previews, it looks like he's become a physical hybrid of Richard Nixon and Al Gore. I guess it does make sense to talk to him, since he was working with Graem, but still...
I really, really wish this show was on more than once a week. The only other way I can get an adrenaline rush into my boring-ass life is to wait until the last minute to do my homework.
8-10 page paper due Thursday morning? WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!!!
Spoilers...
Tonight fully made up for the mediocrity of the last couple episodes. Damn.
Predictions:
- Milo is pretty much dead at this point.
- The government conspiracy is to assassinate Palmer and blame Assad somehow.
- Jack will eventually be forced to kill his own father. This will happen as they stand a few paces apart pointing guns at each other. His father will pull the trigger first, but he'll be out of ammo. Jack will then blow his brains out.
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.
- Chloe will be in some sort of danger in the next few episodes. Morris will have to save her.
- Not really a prediction, but you'd think that by this point, Jack would learn to NEVER TRUST ANYBODY FOR ANY REASON EVER. Fuck, dude. How many times do you have to be betrayed before it sinks in?
Holy shit! Best episode of the season so far! I was literally on the edge of my seat!
Let's see what the second hour brings...
SPOILER WARNING! HOLY CRAP!
TOO. MANY. FUCKING. COMMERCIALS.
Sweet mother of shit, Fox, what's the deal? I believe there's supposed to be a show in between all the ads, but maybe I'm just old-fashioned...
As for the episode, not a whole lot to say. Only one explosion, nobody died, commercial breaks every time it was starting to get good...oh, well. I kind of liked the ultra-awkward "Hey, nephew I haven't seen in years, why don't you SHAKE MY DISGUSTINGLY SCARRED HAND! HAHAHAHA!!!!"
The next couple weeks have potential. I predict that by the end of the season, Jack will be the only surviving Bauer. Seriously. He'll actually go around the world and kill everyone with that name to make sure that he can't be tricked again.
Including Kim.
He'll do it.
He's Jack fucking Bauer.
...Oh, and after he's finished, he'll kill himself. Because if this story with his father being involved with the nuke attack pans out, it will further prove the theory that in the 24 universe, Jack Bauer is the real reason for every terrorist attack. Think about it.
UPDATE
Another prediction I forgot: Sandra Palmer (who is really, really, really irritating) is going to flip out and reveal the FBI scheme, resulting in Walid being beaten and/or killed.
SPOILERS!!!
ALSO, ADULT LANGUAGE!!!
...PROCEED!!!!!!!
Holy.
MOTHER.
FUCKING.
SHIT!!!
All the haters can suck on it. This season is starting out way, way better than the last one. Of course, there were the usual clichés of "our only lead is dead because some random CTU guy is trigger happy" and "the terrorists are going to kill the hostages no matter how cooperative they are," but...
HOLY SHIT! NUCLEAR FUCKING BLAST! CURTIS IS DEAD! WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?!
That second episode was really good...in case you haven't deduced that from my post.
Also, accurate predictions on my part (additional preview spoiler warning): Jack's breakdown (although I guess everyone is still going to trust him) and the return of the balding douchebag with glasses.
We're about to see Jack Bauer on a total rampage here. I can't wait.
Final note: Execution scenes in fiction (such as the one in the second episode) really, really bug me. If you know the guy is going to kill you, why bother listening to him when he tells you to get on the floor and turn around? You're going to die anyway; Make him work for it (like Nina did in the first season, which I am currently halfway through on DVD at the cost of packing/unpacking productivity).
Incidentally (even more spoilers ahead), it's interesting to watch the first season with the knowledge from later seasons that David Palmer, Nina Myers, Teri Bauer, and Tony Almeida will all be dead soon. However, I haven't seen seasons 2 or 3 yet (don't even have the DVDs), so the specifics are still good for some suspense in the case of a few.
Okay, now I'm just rambling. I still need to unpack.
...And by "unpack," I of course mean "watch more 24 DVDs, then unpack everything essential and go straight to bed because I've been awake for a really long time."
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!
The new season is off to a decent start. It's interesting to see them mixing the "Islamic terrorism actually is a problem" theme with the "not every Muslim on the planet is a threat" theme. The useful idiots trying to help Ahhhhhhhhcccccccckkkkkkkkmed were a nice touch. On one hand, you have to feel kind of sorry for him, but on the other hand, HOLY FUCK, HE ACTUALLY IS A TERRORIST!
Also, I hope this Fayed (or however you spell it) dude is going to be a consistent enemy as opposed to the string of evil Russian dudes from last season.
However, my prediction is that we'll eventually find out that he's being controlled by the guys who worked with Logan last time. After all, we never did find out who they were or what was motivating them.
Jack's character development should be interesting. He's been released from China, he escaped the guy who wants him dead...he has something to live for again, but all he knows is anti-terrorism, and apparently he's got some PTSD issues or something.
Second prediction based on this: Sometime in the afternoon, Jack has a breakdown that causes CTU to lose track of their target, and nobody trusts him after this until Chloe somehow convinces them otherwise. Also, Jack and Audrey will be reunited, but Audrey is going to die.
Finally, I saw a newspaper article criticizing the new season for being illogical.
Uh...okay? That's kind of like criticizing the ocean for being wet. People like 24 because it's fun watching Jack kill people, not because it makes sense.
Spoilers...
I'm still digesting everything, so this will be very stream of consciousness. Anyway...
Well, my prediction about Jack killing Henderson was right, although I'm disappointed that he didn't use the "I said I'd help you disappear" line. It was just:
"That's the way it works HOLY CRAP YOU'RE SHOOTING ME!!!"
Still a pretty cool death, although you'd think someone as cunning as Henderson would use his alone time to maybe make sure the gun was loaded. You know.
On a related note, Petty Officer Whatshisface is a badass. Bring that dude to CTU along with Wayne Palmer, and you've got a new season. Especially since they seem to be the only people in the CTUniverse who can help Jack Bauer and live.
Speaking of which...
SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I knew they would bring the Chinese back, but I thought it would be, you know, THIS SEASON. I'm going to have to buy a couple of the DVD sets to get my fix until next year.
By the way, did anyone not know that Jack was going to be ambushed when he went to answer the phone?
"Hey, Jack, your daughter who hates you called. Just walk unarmed into that empty building and pick up the phone. I'll stay out here and hope nobody notices that they've never seen me before."
You know what would've made the closing scene perfect? Chong Li from Bloodsport:
"You...are...NEX!!!"
...Okay, maybe not. Just a random thought.
That last episode was one of the best of the season, if not the best. Great acting, great plot twist with the listening device, and I have to admit that I teared up a little when they brought out Palmer's casket. Also, as a film student well educated in the visual language, I got a chuckle out of the editing while Logan was being escorted out.
You know, because they kept cutting back to him every time the salute was fired. Political assassination, bitch.
Speaking of Logan, I feel like I need a shower after watching the scene of Martha seducing him. There also seemed to be a subtle jab at his, um, "abilities," since the entire encounter apparently took place in the space between the ending credits of the first episode and the previews of the second. Real-time is fun.
Was there any reason to bring in Chloe's ex-husband other than fulfilling the smarmy British dude quota?
I actually laughed out loud when Jack said "WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME" in the first episode. These writers...you gotta love 'em.
Is it January 2007 yet?
This is based entirely on my own thoughts, and I haven't been to any spoiler/rumor sites, but I'll put it in the extended entry anyway...
So, we know that next week's season finale of 24 is going to involve a firefight on a submarine in order to keep a bunch of missiles from being launched at Los Angeles. I'm assuming, based on this show's formula, that Bierko and his men are going to be taken out about a nanosecond before they can fire, or that one missile will fire, but the others will be contained.
However, my prediction involves the fate of murderer/traitor/dude who let his wife get shot in the leg Christopher Henderson. Jack said he was bringing him along because he knows the weapons system, so we can assume that he ends up on the sub somehow. Assuming he isn't killed in the fight against Bierko (which, given Marwan's anti-climactic end last season, wouldn't totally surprise me), I'm guessing he's going to have to disable the missiles himself. Here's my prediction of what will follow. If this actually happens, you can all bow down to my precognitive/screenwriting powers:
_______________________________
INT. THE NATALIA - NIGHT
Bierko and his henchmen are dead, and LA has once again been saved from annihilation. Henderson gets up to leave the weapon control console, but Jack pulls out his gun and points it at Henderson.
HENDERSON: That's not necessary, Jack. I won't try to run.
JACK: Shut up, you son of a bitch.
Jack moves closer.
JACK: I should've done this the first time I had the chance.
Jack raises the gun to Henderson's head.
HENDERSON: What are you doing, Jack? I thought we had a deal.
JACK: We did. I said I'd help you disappear.
Jack fires twice. Henderson drops to the ground, clearly dead.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE NATALIA - NIGHT
Jack dumps Henderson's body in the water.
BOOP. BEEP. BOOP. BEEP.
_______________________________
If this doesn't happen, whatever they do come up with had better be good.
Spoilers...
You know, by showing the "Jack confronts Logan" scene in the previews, they've effectively removed any tension from the submarine portion of the finale. Unless the missiles are going to launch right before Bierko gets it, and a bunch of innocent people die anyway, making Jack extra pissed off. Who knows?
As for the episode itself, very well done. Frickin' thing went waaaaaaaay too fast. I don't want to wait another week, dang it!
I think Henderson was speaking for all of us with the "what's the deal, full immunity?" line. I was thinking the same thing: "Immunity? Again? Stop using that plot device!"
Has anyone else noticed that in Bauerspeak, "excuse me for one second" means "I need to talk to Audrey?"
On a somewhat related note, I don't watch Prison Break in its entirety, but I've caught the end of the last few shows, and I think that tonight's big "season finale" was really weak.
"What do we do now?"
"We run."
"TUNE IN THIS FALL FOR A NEW SEASON!"
At least those of us who watch 24 know that we'll have some sort of resolution next week. I think.
Prediction: Logan goes on a killing spree, then blows his brains out.
Let's see if I'm right...
(Yes, I am actually typing this live for once)
UPDATE
Martha has about a minute to live.
UPDATE THE SECOND
Or maybe not.
New prediction: Final counter is set off by a gunshot sound effect.
UPDATE THE THIRD
Stop drinking and do it, asshole!
UPDATE THE FOURTH
MILES, YOU SHITFUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!!!!!!
Spoilers...
Awesome. Every time I think this show is losing its touch, it bounces back with twice the intensity. Apparently, Kofi Annan and the dude from Smashing Pumpkins are somehow involved. Should be interesting.
Also, my prediction for Henderson's next hour:
A) He escapes like last time, killing Weasel Miles in the process, or...
B) Bierko somehow betrays and kills him.
Just my 2¢.
Spoilers...
Wow. I was all set to say "best death-free episode ever," and then BOOM! Frickin' death-o-rama! I love this show.
Incidentally, as soon as Jack said "we have to work together" to the bodyguard dude, I knew he was a dead man. And I was right. I know this show thrives on unpredictability and the fact that anyone can die at any time, but at this point, I'd be more genuinely shocked if one of Jack's temporary accomplices survived the frickin' episode. I still feel sorry for the banker dude, especially since his wife is going to slowly starve to death...
Speaking of death, I'm still looking forward to seeing if CTU medical can come up with a creative new way to screw up and kill Bierko...unless they just pull a Behrooz and never show the guy again.
Tonight's episode contained one of many examples this season that Jack Bauer apparently has the ability to warp through time and/or space. Unless he just speaks an obscure dialect in which "I'll be there in a few minutes" means "I'll be there in about 30 seconds."
Interesting plotline. I'm amazed that they managed to tie together all the loose ends. I've seen a couple fellow conservatives getting a little pissed that the entire season boils down to a "the president wants ooooooiiiiiilllll" conspiracy, as if it's somehow bashing President Bush by making that the theme, but...come on. It's fiction. Don't we look down on moonbats for making war for oil accusations precisely because we would strongly disapprove of Bush actually doing something like that? Lighten up, yo.
And now back to "holy crap too much work what do I do somebody please make it stop before my head explodes" mode.
Later, minions.
For your listening pleasure, my rendition of the "secret agent guitar" music from tonight's 24 (see previous post):
(As mentioned, this is a loop, not me. My guitar doesn't sound that cool.)
Spoilers...
You know...that episode kinda sucked.
I'm still waiting to see exactly how Logan managed to set all that crap up and act like a total moron the whole time. Apparently, it was all part of his elaborate plan to get some action.
...What? He doesn't really expect anyone to believe that "national security" crap, right?
"Charles, you were magnificent!"
Come on.
(Incidentally, that funky secret agent guitar music that was playing over a few of the car scenes is a loop from GarageBand. The more you know.)
Spoilers...
Holy crap! Now they have a reason to kill President Logan!
BEST. EPISODE. EVER.
Spoilers...
SWEET MERCIFUL MOTHERFUCKING SHITCRAP ON A LICORICE STICK!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?
...They've killed a lot of people this season, but they wouldn't kill Jack freakin' Bauer, right?
RIGHT?
The last couple episodes have been amazing. Wow.
I wonder how much that explosion scene cost...
Spoilers, so go to the extended entry...
Tony is not dead. He can't be freakin' dead. They didn't give him a silent clock like they did for Edgar, so he has to be alive, right?
RIGHT?
AM I RIGHT, PEOPLE?!
Also, if the terrorists assassinate President Nutless Douchebag Logan, I will do some sort of happy dance.