September 27, 2003


I told you I was impatient, didn't I? I've decided to just post all the significant stuff from my book now. I'll be adding plenty more content to the blog as time goes on, and I want to give readers an introduction to some of my opinions and my writing style. The BOSIT stuff didn't use up much space on the page, so I'm going to finish what I started. Here is the remainder of content from CD's Book of Semi-Intelligent Thoughts (warning: these are slightly more opinionated, and they reveal that I am, in fact, a Bible-thumping, gun-toting, homophobic, anti-choice right-wing nut. Also, I overuse the word "people."):

-Why do people say things like "everybody does it" to convince people to take a certain action? If one person has to be convinced, then everybody doesn't do it yet.
-Saying people are animals is an insult to the animal community. (this is followed in the book by a chart illustrating human evolution and de-evolution (devolution?) from monkey, to neandertal, to Bill Clinton, to modern man, all the way to extinction. By the way, I actually don't believe in evolution, but it was fun to draw the chart.)
-If America was a dictatorship, Sean Penn would be dead by now.
-Everyone has heard that you can't judge a book by its cover, but they occasionally make the mistake of judging a tree by its roots.
-Liberals always think they're right, but they'll usually end up back on the left.
-By 1950's standards, the majority of rap videos would be considered pornographic.
-No TV character has a Pittsburgh accent.
-When did we start calling our enemies by their first names? "Where is Saddam? Where is Osama?" Nobody ever said, "Benito is dead, but Adolf is still in hiding."
-Not everybody who thinks homosexuality is wrong is a redneck!
-It's amazing how people who call themselves "open-minded" and "free-thinker" are always so biased.
-TV networks should have signature "bleeps."
-Someday, the censoring devices on TV will be sponsored. A character's car will break down, and he'll say something like, "this stupid motherFORDer! I hate this piece of shTARBUCKS!" Also, nudity will be covered by Pepsi logos instead of pixellation.
-Why is it that going to Iraq and taking a murderous dictator and his psychotic rapist sons out of power is wrong in the eyes of the left, but dissecting a baby alive is perfectly acceptable?
-Why do they advertise exercise machines at 4:00 in the morning? If you're watching TV at that time, you probably don't work out very often.
-Stop inventing words for rap songs! Herre and's like the old Batman show. Pow! Biff! Zam! Zoink! Bort! Fronzle! Kachoonga!
-The next time I hear a song with the words "waiting by the phone" in it, I will break something.
-"Blog" is a funny word. It's like the channel WE (Women's Entertainment) sued the word "weblog" for taking their name and the weblogs lost.
-Even if we eventually have a society where you can order everything online so you never have to leave the house, somebody will still have to deliver it to you.
-Do any states other than New York and Pennsylvania refer to themselves by their postal abbreviations (NY and PA)?
-What are the odds that a man named Willie Brown will be elected mayor of San Francisco? His name is WILLIE BROWN, and he's mayor of SAN FRANCISCO!!!!! (if you don't get this one, either think about it longer, or juxtapose the words "Willie Brown.")
-Has anyone ever actually bought anything from a telemarketer?
-Dumbocrats. Good word.
-If you're lost, and someone offers you directions, and you refuse to listen, and then you end up dying in the woods, it's your own fault, not the person giving you directions.
-If everyone agrees with you, you're probably wrong (Oscar Wilde said something similar, but I didn't find out until after I wrote this).
-Drumming isn't a skill; it's an addiction.
-The world is a drum.
-Why do people with annoying voices insist on talking so much?
-The fact that people are allowed to criticize America is also the best reason people shouldn't criticize America.
-Next time someone says Jesus didn't exist, ask them what year it is.
-It's not my fault I'm homophobic. I was just born this way.
-If a woman is dumb enough to get pregnant when she's not ready (except for rape cases, of course), then why is it assumed she can make responsible "choices?"
-We'd probably have less illegal immigration if we treated illegal immigrants like criminals instead of treating them like puppies that have gotten lost.
-At this point in the book, there is a cartoon I drew that I feel I should describe (I can't post images with the free version of Blogger, so get your mental visualizing skills ready). It is a one panel cartoon split into two sides. On one side, there is a guy wearing a hat that says "Dean '04," a button that says "Buck Fush," and a shirt with the American flag and one of those "no" lines across it (like "no smoking") and the words "vive le France" written across the bottom. He is angrily looking at the reader and saying, "The war in Iraq is a war against Islam! Why can't you leave other cultures alone, you racist bigots?!" On the other side, the same guy is shaking his fist at a Ten Commandments monument and saying, "Don't force your religious beliefs on me, you fundamentalist bigots!" Below the panel is a caption that reads, "Classic examples of liberal tolerance." This just shows how inconsistent certain members of the left can be.
-It's easy to identify a Monty Python poser. If you say you like Monty Python, and the other person says something like, "I love that movie," they're probably not a real big fan.
-Contrary to what some may say, people today tend to believe in religion, but not God. Religion of any kind is seen as a shot of spiritual adrenalin and a feel-good blues remedy, while God is seen as an old-fashioned intolerant bigot who doesn't want people to enjoy their lives. Example: "God answers prayers and sends people to Heaven when they die? That's great! He must...wait, he'll send me to hell if I don't believe that his son died for me? What a jerk! I'm gonna convert to Buddhism!"
-Homosexuals used to want people out of their bedrooms. These days, it seems they want to give people a free tour with souvenirs.
-Canadian liberals are crazier than American liberals.
-Assuming that someone is a racist because they're white makes you a racist.
-"Diversity" is a code word for liberal racism.

Wow, my longest post yet. Hopefully, I have now offended everyone with even a tiny bit of left-leaning ideology. Once again, these views are MINE! Not yours, MINE! I hope you agree with some of them, but since popular people tend to be wrong, I hope you also disagree with a few. I just thought it was kind of pointless having all this stuff sitting in a book with nobody reading it. I was actually planning on making it into a real book someday, but this is a lot easier. As I write more entries, I will post them on the blog. I will also continue posting journal entries, reviews, and various essays and rants. I will probably also select certain BOSIT entries and write essays about what they mean, etc. I will once again remind you that reading my blog is not the best way to use your free time, so please don't get carried away. I'm actually supposed to be reading a book for my sociology class right now, so I'm not even doing this in MY free time. Keep checking back, and don't let the lefties brainwash you.

Posted by CD on September 27, 2003 01:51 PM
Semi-Intelligent Comments

a professional, fast and reliable wow power leveling and wow gold company has been created for years. cheap wow power leveling, When you first start a game of World of Warcraft, wow gold, you will be taken to your race's starting area. Cheap World of Warcraft Power Leveling, All the races except trolls and gnomes begin in a unique location. wow power leveling Those two races have to share starting locales with the good orcs and dwarves, respectively. wow powerleveling, After watching a brief in-game cutscene introducing your race, you are set loose upon the world.

Posted by: wow power leveling at March 3, 2008 10:27 PM
< MTCloseComments old="10" >