May 31, 2005

Question of the Day

Why is it that when U.S. soldiers are supposedly mistreating Iraqis, liberals portray them as a bunch of bloodthirsty rednecks, but when they're being killed in battle, liberals portray them as a bunch of poor minorities?

Discuss.

Posted by CD at 02:41 PM | Comments (3)

May 30, 2005

Band Update

All right, in case anyone has been wondering what happened to the "band," here's a brief update.

We've both been back in Plum for a couple weeks, but we haven't started working on anything yet. Neither of us has a driver's license, so we're having some problems with the whole "being in the same room" aspect of musical performance. We're trying to set something up for this week, though.

We've narrowed the song list down a bit, and we have a pretty good lineup. Our goal is to get between 8 and 10 songs recorded by the end of the summer. And yes, I will be posting those as we complete them. I expect some feedback from all you people who said you would listen. If you've been reading SIT for a while, you should have figured out that the only thing I really want in life is an audience.

Also, after coming up with a bunch of band names and finding that they were being used, we've decided to go with the only unique one I thought of: Suspended Agitation. I even made a logo using Cooltext. Check it out.

So, that's where we are. Hopefully, I'll be able to start posting recordings in a few weeks. Or maybe we'll get pissed off at each other and break up over "creative differences" like so many other bands. Anything is possible at this stage.

Later, loyal minions.

Posted by CD at 02:52 AM | Comments (0)

May 29, 2005

Isn't Groupthink Amazing?

I've spent considerable time criticizing the left side of the political spectrum for relying on memes and repeated slogans instead of engaging in rational discussion. One of the letters in today's Pittsburgh Post-Gazette provides an excellent example of this. I'm going to quote the letter in its entirety, then add some thoughts. Check it out:

Cartoons harmless

I am writing in response to Mr. Richard Guardiani's May 18 letter titled "Liberal Scare Tactics."

It is ludicrous to think that Rob Rogers' cartoons have anything to do with the downturn in military recruits. Perhaps the American public is waking up to the fact that our entry into the Iraq war was initiated by a pack of lies about non-existent weapons of mass destruction.

Mr. Guardiani needs to stop listening to Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly and others of that ilk and read the Downing Street memo ("Staying What Course?" May 17 Paul Krugman column) and he will feel that he has been duped as well.

I am a liberal Democrat, support our troops, have always supported our troops and I am proud to be American. Frankly, I don't know of any liberal Democrats who feel the way that Mr. Guardiani claims in his letter. I was delighted that free elections were held in Iraq and see it as the beginning of a process that will allow our troops to return home. Mr. Guardiani's letter is just another piece of neo-conservatism that arouses anger and serves to further divide our country.

If you've forgotten, Rob Rogers is the PG's resident Ted Rall wannabe. His most recent cartoon compares Bill Frist to Kim Jong Il, and a cartoon from a few days ago compares President Bush to Darth Vader. The cartoon in question, however, is this one, showing a military recruiter/automobile salesman trying to get recruits into a hearse.

This letter is like a lesson in moonbattery. Let's count the memes:

1. "Pack of lies"
2. "Non-existent weapons of mass destruction"
3. "Stop listening to Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly and others of that ilk" (I guess he forgot Ann Coulter)
4. Reference to Paul Krugman
5. "I...support our troops, have always supported our troops and I am proud to be American"
6. "Allow our troops to return home"
7. "Neo-conservatism"
8. "Arouses anger and serves to further divide our country" (So a cartoon does nothing, but a letter is capable of polarizing the nation? Nice.)

It's amazing that they're able to fit this much unoriginal thought into such a small area, and that the PG is willing to print it. The stupidity of the human race continues to astound me.

Posted by CD at 06:41 PM | Comments (0)

May 26, 2005

Script Update the Second

I'm now on page 42 of the new Bob and Joe script. This thing is going to be good.

(Why yes, I am avoiding blogging. I don't know why, either.)

Posted by CD at 12:24 AM | Comments (0)

May 25, 2005

WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!

instructions for killing people

Um...should I forward this person's IP to a law enforcement agency?

Posted by CD at 02:51 PM | Comments (1)

May 23, 2005

24 Blogging

***OMG SPOILERZ!!111!!***

Man, the destruction of the nuclear missile and the death of the terrorist mastermind were kind of anticlimactic. I expected 'em to be all dramatic like a James Bond movie. Also, anyone watching the show who thought that Tony was killed in the explosion should not be allowed to roam free on the streets. It would've been better without the whole "let's show the terrorist abducting the neighbors" scene.

My prediction for next season: Based on the "crossing the border" comment, I think Jack is going to become a mountie and fight terrorist caribou.

UPDATE
Something just occurred to me...what the crap happened to Behrooz? He just kinda disappeared. I guess they killed him.

Posted by CD at 10:03 PM | Comments (0)

May 20, 2005

Script Update

This isn't really necessary, but I thought I'd let my Loyal Readers know that "Bob and Joe vs. the Afterlife" (tentative title), the exciting sequel to Bob and Joe: Back to Nature, is now about 1/4 of the way complete. It should be done in the next couple weeks. I can't reveal too much information, but I can tell you that it somehow involves a man named Thaddeus Pricklestankler and a mansion from the 19th century. More details will be available once they actually exist.

By the way, if you're planning on reading the new script, I highly recommend reading "Back to Nature" first, or you won't get half the jokes. Seriously.

Posted by CD at 12:07 AM | Comments (1)

May 18, 2005

Rebuilding the WTC

Via Ace, I found this story:

New York property tycoon Donald Trump unveiled his design for "bigger, stronger and better" twin towers to replace the World Trade Center originals destroyed on September 11, 2001.

Denouncing the existing plans for rebuilding Ground Zero as the "worst pile of crap architecture I've ever seen," Trump argued that erecting two new, even taller twin towers was the only valid response to the terrorists.

I'm going to have to agree with Trump here. Rebuild 'em, make 'em bigger and stronger than before, and send the message that America cannot be fucked with. One suggestion, though:

If you really want to send a message, build two smaller towers and put a larger one in between them. That way, it'll look like we're flipping off anyone who tries to attack us. Heh heh. I think I saw that somewhere else a while ago, and it's a pretty good idea.

Okay, I'm done.

Posted by CD at 04:14 PM | Comments (0)

Mmm...Swiss Cake Rolls...

It's been about a month since I had an open thread, and there hasn't been enough discussion on this blog lately, so...discuss.

One of these open threads is going to get off the ground eventually.

Also, in case you missed it, go here at some point and check out Army NCO Guy's new HQ.

Posted by CD at 01:08 AM | Comments (6)

May 17, 2005

Hey, Remember Fiskings?

Man, it's been a long time since I did this. However, some of today's NYT letters need to be made fun of. Let's get started with letter #1:

To the Editor:

Re "Staying What Course?," by Paul Krugman (column, May 16):

The British and the American governments lied to their people and the world about the reasons for the invasion of Iraq.

Notice the subtle moving of the goalposts? Apparently, the "lies" were now about the reasons for going to war, rather than the existence of WMD. Interesting. And I have yet to see proof that there were any "lies" in either area. As usual, keep in mind that to liberals, lies = disagreement.

Because of these lies...

WHAT? FUCKING? LIES? I don't know about you, but where I come from, arguments need to be supported with proof. You vague son of a bitch.

...Have I mentioned how much I enjoy blogging uncensored?

...more than 1,600 American service members have died, thousands have been maimed or wounded, countless Iraqis have died, and a large portion of Iraq has been reduced to rubble.

Yes, bad things tend to happen in wars. I'm sure the 50 million people who have been freed thanks to Bush's so-called "lies" would appreciate your lack of vision.

Mr. Krugman asks, "So what's the plan?"

Because Mr. Krazyugman is willfully ignorant.

The answer is obvious: the people who started this war under what have been revealed as false pretenses...

I think there's some sort of "false pretenses" quota for these talking points they pass off as letters to the editor. Oh, and by the way...

EXAMPLES, ASSHAT! WHERE ARE THEY?!

...should be held accountable for their actions...

They were re-elected, weren't they? That seems like a way to hold them accountable. Heh heh.

...and should not be permitted to bomb one more Iraqi village...

And once again, we get a glimpse of the scary liberal fantasy world, where all military actions involve indiscriminately dropping tons of bombs on poor, innocent foreigners. All those guys on the ground are there for a reason, dumbass.

...or send another American to his or her death.

Have you noticed the large guns most of them have, genius? They're being sent to kill terrorists, not sacrifice themselves. Yet another important aspect of the liberal fantasy world is the idea of American soldiers marching straight to their doom with no way to fight back. Except for when the soldiers are thoughtless rednecks who want to torture brown people. It changes depending on how heavily medicated the liberal in question is at the time. Or something.

An immediate pullout is the only way to achieve some semblance of respect for our disingenuous and increasingly dangerous foreign policy.

Yes, because leaving Iraq to the terrorists before we finish the job would really make us look good to the rest of the world. And it wouldn't embolden other terrorists, either *cough*Mogadishu*cough*.

<sarcasm>

There's more in the extended entry, if you're into that kind of thing...

Letter #2:

To the Editor:

There seems to be a special kind of irrational fury that overwhelms the leaders of powerful countries when they find their militaries bogged down in foreign wars.

Is it anything like the irrational fury that overwhelms liberals when they don't get their way?

They become unable to accept the possibility that an indigenous resistance movement might have the determination and capacity to prevail against occupiers who have vastly superior weaponry.

When they're capable of killing dozens of the enemy while only suffering a couple casualties, it seems kind of logical to assume that victory is in sight.

Incidentally, I find it funny that the so-called "indigenous resistance movement" is composed largely of terrorists from outside Iraq.

This stubborn refusal to accept the obvious afflicted the French government in both Indochina and Algeria.

Dude...they're the French. Who gives a fuck?

It afflicted the Russians as they were bled year after year in Afghanistan.

Have you not noticed how well Afghanistan has gone?

It afflicted the United States in Vietnam.

No, what afflicted the United States in Vietnam was a government unwilling to take on the enemy with all its resources for fear of upsetting the other Communists.

And it may be what we see in the current administration as it confronts the chaos in Iraq.

You mean the "chaos" that has resulted in a successful election and the rebuilding of a country formerly controlled by a murderous dictator? You have awfully high standards of order.

History offers little comfort to those blinded by such stubborn arrogance.

Case in point: Your asinine letter.

Letter #3:

To the Editor:

Paul Krugman gets it right in his explanation of how we got into the war in Iraq and how it is destroying the United States as well as the lives of the Iraqi people.

Uh, just a suggestion...never start any letter with the phrase "Paul Krugman gets it right." It immediately destroys what little credibility you may have had to begin with.

He even seems to understand the parallels between the war in Iraq and the Vietnam War...

Hmmm...both of them were wars...fought by the United States against a foreign enemy...holy crap! It's like they're the exact same thing!!!11!!

(Yes, I know that was a straw man argument. I don't care.)

...but then he goes on to make the same mistake that was made by pundits about Vietnam. He says, "I'm not advocating an immediate pullout, but we have to tell the Iraqi government that our stay is time-limited, and that it has to find a way to take care of itself."

Have we not done that already? Even Rumsfeld has said that the "exit strategy" is to get the job done.

No matter when we get out of Iraq - tomorrow, or a year from tomorrow - terrible scenes will unfold.

Especially if it's tomorrow, since as soon as we're gone, a bunch of jihadis will take over and impose an Islamic dictatorship. But hey, at least they won't be eeeeeevil Americans, right?

What is the justification for staying one additional day? How can we permit one more soldier to die; how can we permit one more Iraqi to die?

If you have to ask that question, it's obviously not going to do any good to explain it.

Seriously...just...what is it with these idiots? Why are they incapable of seeing the positive side of the war? What happened to that famous empathy that liberals always claim to have? What happened to humanitarianism?

It's been two years, and I still don't get it. I don't think it's possible to understand without getting inside the mind of a liberal. And frankly, I think I would get crushed to death if I tried to fit into a space that small.

Posted by CD at 02:07 AM | Comments (2)

YAY!!!!!

Army NCO Guy has moved to a brand new MuNu blog!

And there was much rejoicing.

...

...

Well? Rejoice, dang it!

Posted by CD at 12:22 AM | Comments (3)

May 16, 2005

24 Blogging

Tony's as good as dead at this point. Also...

OMG! AUDREY'S BRUTHAR IS TEH GHEY!!!111!!1!

Posted by CD at 10:11 PM | Comments (2)

May 14, 2005

Fuck the Media

So, you know those anti-American protests taking place across the Muslim world right now? The ones that have resulted in several deaths? It seems that they may have been protesting an event that never happened.

Way to go, Newsweek. Your unsubstantiated allegations have led to the loss of innocent life. But hey, as long as America looks bad, it's okay, right?

I hope you soulless vultures choke on your own fucking vomit.

(Don't think I'm not mad at the protesters as well; I just realize that if it weren't for Newsweek, none of this would be happening)

((Hat tip: LGF))

Posted by CD at 10:05 PM | Comments (1)

Die, Eight-Legged Hellspawn

Remember sac spiders? It's that time of year. They are once again invading the house. Joy.

These things just seem to know how to get in the way. I had to drown one of the bastards today. Since there's nothing else to blog about, allow me to tell the story...

I was going to take a shower, and before I even got to the bathroom, I somehow knew that there was going to be a spider in there. Sure enough, when I turned on the light, there was a friggin' sac spider trying to hide behind the hand towel. I did the natural thing and grabbed a piece of toilet paper to kill it, but when I moved the towel, the little fucker dropped down and went into the sink.

Into. The sink.

So, since my hatred for sac spiders knows no bounds, I decided to have some fun with it, and I turned on the water. I thought it would just go right down the drain, but it swam to the side and tried to climb back out. After this happened a couple more times, it finally went down the drain, but I wanted to make sure it was gone, so I closed the drain just enough to still let water out, then filled up the sink with hot water a couple times and let it empty over a few minutes. The spider is probably dead and/or miles away by now.

Moral of the story: Don't mess with me if I have the ability to kill you with no legal or moral repercussions.

Have a nice day.

Posted by CD at 05:06 AM | Comments (5)

May 13, 2005

Good Times...

It's storming again.

...yay...

This summer's off to a great start.

Seriously, I need a blog topic. Anything interesting. Just...pick something.

Posted by CD at 10:41 PM | Comments (5)

May 11, 2005

Sweet Home Pennsylvania

It's storming. On my third day home.

I love this state. Really, I do.

...Really.

</sarcasm>

(Yes, I'm going to keep writing short posts complaining about stupid crap until something happens in politics that I actually know something about. Deal with it.)

Posted by CD at 11:10 PM | Comments (3)

Must...Blog...

So, who else is tired of me writing about myself? I know I am!

...Man, that was an ironic comment...

Anyway, now that I'm home, I have time to do political blogging again. Unfortunately, despite the fact that I've pretty much spent the entire day reading blogs/news, I can't find anything interesting to write about.

Ideas? Anybody? Don't make me post the Swiss Cake Rolls again.

UPDATE
Here's a fun activity: Do a Google search using an intentionally misspelled word and see what comes up. For example, "that doesn't make sence" returns 2,180 results.

...We're doomed, people. We are so freaking doomed.

And on another note, I know that updates don't get time stamps, but...it's really, really early in the morning. Yay, summer.

Posted by CD at 12:02 AM | Comments (1)

May 09, 2005

It's Over!

All right, I'm getting ready to leave now. It's about frickin' time.

Later, loyal minions.

UPDATE
Yep. I'm home. I never thought I'd be so happy to be in a crappy state like Pennsylvania again, but...MAN, that semester sucked.

I'm tired.

Posted by CD at 11:11 AM | Comments (6)

May 07, 2005

WOOHOO!!!!!!!

This is indeed a great moment. I just finished writing my last take-home essay. I wrote eight friggin' pages of stupid useless bullshit today, and now I'm done with everything.

Nothing left to do now but pack up, turn 'em in, and get the hell out of here. I just hope I can survive another 36 hours with The Chimps. They're sure not making it any easier...

UPDATE
Just for fun, I recorded a conversation that The Chimps were having outside my door. Check it out (Warning: Contains references to reproductive organs):

Chimpversation

This is the kind of crap I've had to deal with for the past few months. And they're usually louder than that.

I've mentioned that we're supposed to be having all-day quiet hours, right?

Fucktards. I can't wait to get out of here.

Posted by CD at 10:52 PM | Comments (5)

May 06, 2005

Open Letter to People Who Can't Recognize Sarcasm and Satire

Get. The fuck. Off. The Internet.

You idiots.

(This isn't related to anything on this blog; It's just a general pet peeve of mine)

Posted by CD at 11:27 PM | Comments (1)

So Very Close...

Only two take-home finals to go, and then on Monday, I'm outta here. That means I'm only three days and eight pages away from being free of this horrible semester from hell. I can't believe I'm actually looking forward to going back to the Soul-Eating State, but the last three months have made me appreciate things like privacy, quiet, sleep, and not doing stupid moronic useless bullshit busywork every single day of my life.

Oh, and I'm planning to do more political blogging once I'm home. Yay.

Posted by CD at 01:39 AM | Comments (3)

May 04, 2005

Bias Watch: Textbook Edition

I'm studying for my History final (which is hard to do when your roommate spends half the night talking on the fucking phone and doesn't have the sense to fucking go somewhere else), and I'm in the Vietnam part of the book right now. One section talks about the Tet Offensive and aftermath. Check out an excerpt:

Television and press coverage--including scenes of U.S. personnel shooting from the embassy windows in Saigon--dismayed the public. Americans saw the beautiful ancient city of Hue devastated almost beyond recognition and heard a U.S. officer casually remark about a village in the Mekong Delta, "We had to destroy it, in order to save it."

Now, the challenge: See how long it takes you to locate the blatant lie in that paragraph. I'll be here...studying more.

Fucking bullshit semester...

Also, just for fun, here's another quote from the book, this one talking about LBJ's War on Poverty:

...the root cause of poverty lay in unequal income distribution. The Johnson administration never committed itself to the redistribution of income or wealth.

No comment.

UPDATE
This doesn't have anything to do with bias, but I was reading through the New Deal section, and I came across a reference to the Southern Tenant Farmers Union.

Heh heh. "STFU." It would be funny if there was another organization called NOOB (National...something...something...Board), and the two combined to form STFU/NOOB.

...This exam is going to destroy me.

UPDATE THE SECOND
Wow. I just filled up an entire Blue Book (literally, I used every page) with essays. My writing hand is not happy with me right now.

Ouch.

Oh, well. That's one exam down, and...four papers to go.

Crap.

Posted by CD at 10:14 PM | Comments (2)

May 03, 2005

Why Does It Not End?

So, 24-hour quiet hours were supposed to start at 9 PM. It's now 9:30. Know what The Chimps are doing?

They're making MORE NOISE THAN BEFORE.

...
...

Six.

More.

Fucking.

Days.

Son a bitch.

Posted by CD at 09:30 PM | Comments (0)

May 02, 2005

24 Blogging

Yep. I figured out weeks ago that Paul was the kill-off character. Paralysis ain't emotional enough, you know. Also, I like the not-so-subtle Fox News placement in the president's bunker. Nice.

By the way, if you're not watching 24...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? IT'S THE BEST FRIGGIN' SHOW SINCE THE SIMPSONS! ESPECIALLY SINCE THE SIMPSONS SUCKS NOW!!!

...All right, I'm done.

Posted by CD at 10:04 PM | Comments (1)

May 01, 2005

Random Thought

I was just studying a map for Geography, and I noticed that there's a province in Australia called Northern Territory.

How long have they known about this place? You'd think they would've come up with a better name for it by now.

And in other news, it's finals week.

...
...
...

...Anyone know a good suicide hotline? I think I'm going to need it by Friday.

UPDATE
Apparently, Australia also has a Great Sandy Desert.

...

You people are freakin' lazy! What's next?

"This is the Great Watery River. And now we're on our way to the Lesser Leafy Forest. Then, it's just a matter of time until we reach the Big Slopey Mountains...mate."

This stuff is frickin' gold. I should be getting paid for...mocking landform names.

...Also, this post is proof that listening to Mitch Hedberg (RIP) for too long will warp your thought process.

(PS: This is what part of the alphabet would look like if Q and R were eliminated)

Posted by CD at 10:08 PM | Comments (8)