Attention, writers of the English language: Please stop using declarative sentences that end with question marks. Hypothetical example:
"Hey, I thought you went on vacation?"
Unless you're actually unsure of what you thought, the proper punctuation mark is either a period or an exclamation point, depending on your level of surprise. A question mark makes no sense because that isn't a frickin' question!
That is all.
Yeah, I actually made it to class this morning. What a freakin' concept. Anyway, here are some quotes:
- "They would advertise shit as a dressing for ice cream if they could."
- "LSD is an artificially made drug that will do wonders for your family."
- "I don't give a shit about Cuban comrades."
- "Santa Claus had no Communist connections."
- "Every president since Woodrow Wilson has violated the rights of Americans."
- "We went to Iraq, then it turned into a quagmire..."
- "Julia Child was still...can you imagine...[speaking in a weird, high-pitched voice] NOW YOU TAKE THE...[unintelligible babbling and stomping for a few seconds]"
I think you have to have been there to understand the last one...
If you read yesterday's longer post, you'll recall that one of my theories about the weirdness involved was as follows:
...maybe there's some weird school-wide event that hasn't been publicized.
After pondering this for a while, I actually bothered to check my handy PDF of the academic calendar. I'll let you see for yourselves what I found:
Mayfuckingfest. Wonderful. I have no idea what that is, I only heard one person (another student) mention it on Monday (appropriately, he was saying how odd it is that Mayfest is in April), a quick check of the 2005 calendar confirms that it wasn't a day off last year, and more importantly, NONE OF MY PROFESSORS MADE ANY MENTION OF THERE BEING NO CLASSES.
Thanks a lot, assholes.
Oh, well. At least this means I didn't miss anything.
UPDATE
Further investigation reveals that the school mentioned classes being cancelled...in an email last Friday entitled "MAYFEST REMINDER."
Because, you know, we all realize that we should read messages referring to events we don't care about and assume that there's going to be relevant information within...
As if my mind wasn't occupied with enough stupid bullshit, now my overhead light is flickering on and off and driving me fucking insane. I can literally feel myself developing another nervous ADD tic. And when I did the logical thing and unscrewed the cover to see what the problem was, I found out that it's a fluorescent tube, so I can't replace it on my own.
I'd like to go home now, please.
UPDATE
Well, the light seems to have burned itself out. Luckily, there are two tubes, and one of them is still on, but I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to call the maintenance people or whether I should just leave it to the next poor bastard who gets this room (have I mentioned that the school eliminated squatter's privilege because it was "unfair?" Next year, I'm living in a single on the fourth floor right across from the elevators. Fun!!!).
So...I got an accidental day off today. Let me explain...
I was supposed to get up at 8:45 this morning to go to history. I've been blatantly blowing off this class quite a bit for the past month because it's a bullshit elective I didn't even want to take, and the Stinchmeister basically told us that all we have to do to pass the final is read the books he assigned (which explains the lack of Stinchisms), but since there's a paper due next Tuesday, I wanted to go and make sure I didn't miss anything important.
Fast forward to this morning. I woke up around 10:30 with no recollection of any alarms having gone off before, despite the fact that I distinctly remember setting them.
This will require a bit of technical explanation. See, I have a four alarm system designed to ensure that if I decide to sleep in, I'm at least aware that I had the chance to get up. It consists of the two alarms on my clock radio, the alarm on the microwave, and the alarm in my cell phone.
I place the clock far enough from my bed that I have to either get up or drag it across the floor to turn it off, which I usually do by either hitting the snooze button or switching off both alarms.
The microwave is far enough away that I have to either sit up and reach across the room or get out of bed to turn it off, and the cell phone is on a shelf above the computer, so there's no way to turn that off without getting up. In addition, I put the phone under the cover of one of my poli-sci books last night so it would be harder to find in the morning. This fact will be important later.
Anyway, I woke up at 10:30 and immediately realized that I had just involuntarily skipped history again. Figuring that I had done my occasional routine of turning off all the alarms and getting back into bed, I checked the clock and noticed two solid green dots on the right side of the display, meaning the alarms were still on and the snooze button hadn't been pushed (they would've been blinking if this were the case). Also, the clock was still on top of the crate I keep it on, meaning I hadn't dragged it over to the bed to turn it off like I usually do.
Not wanting to ponder this any further, I brought the clock over and switched off the alarms, confirming that they were on before and were set for 8:45 and 8:55 AM, and set the "nap" alarm to go off in half an hour so I could eat lunch before my 12:30 class. I completely forgot about this and ended up missing this class too, but that's the only thing that happened today that was 100% my fault.
After mentally kicking my own ass for missing two classes in a row, I tried to figure out how I overslept in the first place, and I noticed that the microwave alarm and the cell phone alarm were off, despite the fact that I had no memory of deactivating them. Also, the phone was still in the hiding place I had left it in, and although I suppose I could've reached in and hit the volume switch on the side to turn it off like I sometimes do, it seems like if I was conscious enough to remember putting it there, I would remember the action of getting out of bed, turning it off, and getting back into bed, especially since the microwave alarm would've also gone off within a couple minutes.
Anyway, I had one more class at 3:30, and I was actually up a few hours before this, so I figured there was no way to miss it, and I should at least try to get to one lecture today. Therefore, about an hour ago, I made the 10 minute walk down there and was greeted by a dark, empty room.
Yep. Class somehow got cancelled without my knowledge. Another dude who showed up claimed it was the second time this happened to him today, so maybe there's some weird school-wide event that hasn't been publicized. Still...I went to this class last Thursday, and nobody mentioned anything about not having class today, and the last time this professor cancelled class, he sent out an email a couple hours before. As of this moment, I still haven't seen an explanation. I notice that the syllabus doesn't list any reading assignments or topics for today, so maybe he somehow assumed that we would know not to show up, but all I know is that I didn't hear any outright mention of "hey, no lecture on the 25th."
So, yeah...several fucked up events within a few hours of each other. Is it too much to ask that I just have one relatively good spring semester before I graduate? Honestly?
Spoilers...
Awesome. Every time I think this show is losing its touch, it bounces back with twice the intensity. Apparently, Kofi Annan and the dude from Smashing Pumpkins are somehow involved. Should be interesting.
Also, my prediction for Henderson's next hour:
A) He escapes like last time, killing Weasel Miles in the process, or...
B) Bierko somehow betrays and kills him.
Just my 2ยข.
I know my blogging frequency is nowhere near the "at least 3 posts every day" rhythm I had going a couple years ago, but I thought I'd mention now that if I write practically nothing for the next couple weeks, it doesn't mean I'm taking another hiatus. I just have to get caught up on half a semester's worth of work in a few days, along with post-producing a 15 minute film and writing a 15-19 page paper I haven't started researching yet.
So...yeah, I'm pretty screwed. But it'll all be over by May 11th.
Wish me luck...
I had a couple free hours and decided to throw together a cover of "Hover" by TRUSTcompany. Like the last one, I played it in drop-D, but the original is in Db. Other than that, it's pretty close. This is not a difficult song, but it still kicks ass.
This week's featured song is another cover: "Polyamorous" by Breaking Benjamin. Killer song, but very difficult to play all at once (although it's obviously possible since I've seen them play it live), so I used one track for rhythm and one for lead, then combined them in the chorus to make it twice as heavy.
The BB version is in drop-Db, but the tuning got severely screwed up when I tried that, so I settled for drop-D. It still sounds pretty cool. Check it out:
We're currently discussing the media in my Modern Presidency class. Part of this section of the course involves reading one of two books on the media and politics, and the readers of each book will apparently have a "debate" this Thursday. We were given a choice between South Park Conservatives : The Revolt Against Liberal Media Bias and Media Spectacle And The Crisis Of Democracy: Terrorism, War, And Election Battles.
Being a big fan of unintentional comedy, I naturally chose the latter. Check out an excerpt (and keep in mind, this is all a single paragraph out of about 250 pages) from the introduction:
Many believe the United States is devolving into fascism under Bush and Cheney, but it is not the sort of "friendly fascism" that Bertram Gross described in 1982, for never has a more vicious bunch occupied the higher levels of government. Like Hitler and the German fascists, the Bush-Cheney clique use the Big Lie to promote its policies, promote aggressive militarism in the quest for world hegemony, and relentlessly promote the economic interests of the corporations and groups that finance it. To sell their program, Bush and Cheney have a media attack apparatus ready to smear anyone who dared to criticize their hard-right and militarist tactics. An ever-growing right-wing Republican media machine, ranging from the Wall Street Journal and the conservative press to the Rupert Murdoch-owned Fox TV, talk radio, and the extreme right sector on the Internet, all disseminate propaganda of a scope and virulence never before seen in U.S. history. Expanding significantly since the 1980s, the Republican propaganda machine has cultivated a group of ideological storm troopers who loudly support Bush-Cheney policies and attack those who criticize them. These extremists are impervious to argument, ignore facts and analysis, and demonize as unpatriotic anyone who challenges Bush-Cheney policies. Groomed on Fox TV and right-wing talk radio, they verbally assault anyone who does not march in lockstep with the administration and wage ideological war against the heathens, liberals, feminists, gays and lesbians, and other dissenters. These ideological warriors allow no disparagement of Bush and Cheney and refuse civil dialogue, preferring denunciation and invective.
I think it would be fun to do a thorough megafisking of this thing sometime over the summer. Right now, I only have time to enjoy a hearty laugh due to this author's utter lack of any original thoughts. I suggest you all do the same.
UPDATE
Wow. The rest of the book is just like that paragraph. No. Original. Thoughts. The guy quotes the discredited Lancet study claiming that 100,000 Iraqis had been killed, makes incessant references to Bush's smirking and swaggering (and yes, he does go into the "Mission Accomplished" thing), puts "weapons of mass destruction" in scare quotes every time he uses it, simultaneously criticizes the U.S. for arming Saddam Hussein and claiming that Saddam Hussein needed to be disarmed, claims that the Abu Ghraib incident was the result of racism, mentions "tax cuts for the rich," repeats the blatant fabrication that people booed at a Bush speech after it was announced that Bill Clinton was in the hospital, refers to the "corporate media" on practically every page and calls them "lap dogs" for the administration, insists that there is no difference between saying that Iraq was connected to Al Qaeda and saying that Iraq was involved in 9/11, insinuates that Bush wears a wire so he can receive answers to tough questions from his staff, puts Republicans in the same category as "the Ku Klux Klan and myriad neo-Nazi assemblages," claims that the media is biased to the right because they didn't immediately dismiss the claims of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth as "outright lies" (direct quote: "Although the print media had debunked the specific claims of the swift boat veterans, cable networks failed to present the swift boat group as part of the Republican smear campaign"), refers to the forged National Guard memo as "allegedly faked," calls Iraq a "quagmire," goes after the "Republican attack machine," makes numerous comparisons between Bush and Hitler (including the old "Bush's grandfather was a Nazi" story), accuses Bush of stealing both the 2000 and 2004 elections...he even goes so far as to criticize Saturday Night Live because he feels their satire of Gore was too exaggerated, but their satire of Bush was brilliant.
Just...wow. Now I understand why even my ultra-liberal professor said that this was a crappy book. I don't even know if I need to read the rest, because I've probably read it all somewhere else already. The thing is like a really long Democratic Underground post.
It is inspiring in a strange way, though. I think Suspended Agitation is going to have some new lyrics soon...how does "Spectacle" sound as a song title?
UPDATE THE SECOND
Having now read the entire book (okay, I skimmed a few parts because they had nothing to do with media bias), I believe that I have actually lost sevearl (I'm leaving that typo as is to prove my point) hundred brain cells, and I still have not learned anything that I didn't hear about a billion times in 2004.
Congratulations, Douglas Kellner, for providing a 250 page explanation of why I'm still a Republican.
Goodfreakingnight.
Spoilers...
Wow. I was all set to say "best death-free episode ever," and then BOOM! Frickin' death-o-rama! I love this show.
Incidentally, as soon as Jack said "we have to work together" to the bodyguard dude, I knew he was a dead man. And I was right. I know this show thrives on unpredictability and the fact that anyone can die at any time, but at this point, I'd be more genuinely shocked if one of Jack's temporary accomplices survived the frickin' episode. I still feel sorry for the banker dude, especially since his wife is going to slowly starve to death...
Speaking of death, I'm still looking forward to seeing if CTU medical can come up with a creative new way to screw up and kill Bierko...unless they just pull a Behrooz and never show the guy again.
Tonight's episode contained one of many examples this season that Jack Bauer apparently has the ability to warp through time and/or space. Unless he just speaks an obscure dialect in which "I'll be there in a few minutes" means "I'll be there in about 30 seconds."
Interesting plotline. I'm amazed that they managed to tie together all the loose ends. I've seen a couple fellow conservatives getting a little pissed that the entire season boils down to a "the president wants ooooooiiiiiilllll" conspiracy, as if it's somehow bashing President Bush by making that the theme, but...come on. It's fiction. Don't we look down on moonbats for making war for oil accusations precisely because we would strongly disapprove of Bush actually doing something like that? Lighten up, yo.
And now back to "holy crap too much work what do I do somebody please make it stop before my head explodes" mode.
Later, minions.
I decided to do an original this week. It's another one of those songs that I wrote years ago and couldn't fully create until now (although I based this on a MIDI version that I posted last year). Check it out:
UPDATE
I have a Michael Moore sized assload of stuff to do this weekend thanks to my amazing procrastination abilities, so there won't be time for any more full-length recordings, but I recorded a couple quick samples of two other songs I'm working on (both of which were already written, and one of which was included as a MIDI in the post linked above). Check these out:
Despite what your unnecessarily loud music may tell you, you are not a "muthafuckin' P-I-M-P."
Just thought I would let you know.
Just wondering...does anybody care that I rarely post about politics anymore? It seems weird that I'm in the middle of a poli-sci minor and I barely talk about that stuff. I mean...it's not like I'm going to go back to the old, pre-2004 election days, but I feel like SIT has become nothing but me bitching about classes and uploading my crappy guitar recordings.
Although it's a lot less stressful this way...
For your listening pleasure, my rendition of the "secret agent guitar" music from tonight's 24 (see previous post):
(As mentioned, this is a loop, not me. My guitar doesn't sound that cool.)
Spoilers...
You know...that episode kinda sucked.
I'm still waiting to see exactly how Logan managed to set all that crap up and act like a total moron the whole time. Apparently, it was all part of his elaborate plan to get some action.
...What? He doesn't really expect anyone to believe that "national security" crap, right?
"Charles, you were magnificent!"
Come on.
(Incidentally, that funky secret agent guitar music that was playing over a few of the car scenes is a loop from GarageBand. The more you know.)
The Nirvana classic, "Smells Like Teen Spirit." No real introduction necessary.
Although...full disclosure, I played this in drop-D tuning because my guitar is a piece of crap and the first fret is essentially useless with the bottom strings. Also, I cut out the second verse and chorus to avoid being too repetitive. Anyway...
RANDOM NOTE: I'm (obviously) not learning these songs completely by ear. I mostly use the tabs from this site.
I've decided to stick with the Foo Fighters theme and learn/cover "Everlong." I honestly don't think there are more than a dozen people on the planet who don't like this song (people who haven't heard it excluded, obviously). Of course, my version isn't as good as the original, but still...check it out:
Also, I figured I'd take this opportunity to once again point out that Dave Grohl looks like a horse:
Today's featured song is "My Hero" by Foo Fighters. Check it out:
Also...where the crap is everybody? Seriously. Nobody's commented for like a freakin' week.
Quote from my poli-sci professor in today's lecture:
"Is the Supreme Court retarded?"
I was half expecting the Thought Police to come drag him out for not respecting diversity or something.
No, I haven't been up all night eating cheese.
However, I did just stay up all night writing a paper for political science. Seriously. Look at the time on this post. I haven't freakin' slept yet. Isn't that great?
Well, this P.O.S. isn't actually due until 12:30, so...goodnight.
*headpillow*
I love this time of year. There's nothing quite like having a mid-afternoon, second day of registration enrollment appointment and watching every class you want (including one that's a prerequisite for another one later on) slowly fill up and close while you sit counting down the hours until you can start taking whatever scraps are left under the table of academia.
Suck it, registrar's office. Suck it long, and suck it hard.
UPDATE
I knew it! The psychology elective I wanted filled up 15 minutes before my enrollment appointment, so I had to schedule a bullshit anthropological theory course to fill that requirement/time. And it looks I won't even know if I can get into the screenwriting class I want need until fucking May.
Bastards.
About a month ago, I mentioned that I royally screwed up on a history test after not realizing that it was open book and, in fact, not even reading one of the books it was based on.
I got my grade today...
B-
Seriously. My bullshitting abilities should be the stuff of fucking legends.
Spoilers...
Holy crap! Now they have a reason to kill President Logan!
BEST. EPISODE. EVER.
Dear filthy bastards,
WASH! YOUR! FUCKING! HANDS!!!
That is all.
This is for anyone who has seen the movie Surviving the Game (you know, the one where a bunch of crazy guys chase Ice-T through the woods).
My TRF professor was the associate editor for that film, and she told us today that in post-production, some of the crew members started calling it "Surviving the Shame," and the first time it was screened in public, she kept turning to people around her and saying "it's not that bad!"
This has been your fun movie fact for today.
Despite what you may think, this letter to the Daily Orange is not satire:
Inviting Coulter showed a lack of considerationRecently the Ann Coulter appearance has been gaining much attention. I read today that there was a meeting between students and the College Republicans about this. To me it seems like the Republican club doesn't see any wrongdoing in bringing Coulter to campus. I did attend the speech (a 9-year-old could've said more interesting things), and, granted, she did hold back on her racial speech and homophobia (until the question and answer part). But even though she did hold back, many people take offense to what she has said in the past.
I realize that the Republican club wanted to get someone in here that could bash Democrats as much as Michael Moore bashed Republicans last year, but they should've been a little bit smarter in their decision. Bringing someone such as Coulter to a campus that is trying to be more diverse and accepting of gays and lesbians wasn't a smart idea. They should've gone with someone that could bash Democrats and not raise as much controversy for his or her previous comments. So next year when the Republican club (or even the Democrats) invite a speaker, please take a long hard look at who you're inviting to speak, and think of how other people will react to that speaker's views.
So, let's review:
- Ann Coulter, who has apparently made numerous racist and homophobic statements that these morons seem unable to reference directly (all I can think of is the dumbass "ragheads" thing she pulled a few weeks ago), is too controversial.
- Michael Moore, despite the fact that he essentially declared support for the terrorists and more or less said that all Republicans hate minorities, is not controversial.
It boggles the mind.
NOTE: I'd like to once again point out that I'm not much of an Ann Coulter fan, but these brainwashed morons make her look normal by comparison. It's like that "giant douche/turd sandwich" thing...)
You know what? I've decided that I'm tired of school. Seriously. I've been doing this education thing for most of my life, and I just want it to be over now.
Yeah, I know it was my choice to go to college, and I know that a degree from Newhouse will probably give me some major advantages in the film industry, but still...fuck this other liberal arts bullshit. I'm already more intelligent than about 99.9% of the human race (using IQ as a standard, at least), and since people seem to be getting dumber every day, I'm really finding it hard to care about learning more. It couldn't hurt, but my brain keeps trying to reject new information that it sees as useless.
I don't know...maybe I'm just rambling. But I would be perfectly happy to spend the rest of my life doing nothing but writing and editing movies while playing drums and guitar in my spare time.
Yeah. And while I'm dreaming, I'd like 10 million dollars, a private mansion in a quiet area, and a girlfriend.
Stupid reality.
