You know, I've always been rather ambivalent on the issue of deer hunting, but if the fuckers keep getting in my way while I'm trying to exercise, I might go out this fall and pick a few off myself.
Thanks to consistent diet and exercise, I have now lost 53 pounds since graduating from college.
You know, just in case you were wondering.
(The sad/scary part is that I'm still about 20 pounds overweight, but I guess that's preferable to being morbidly obese)
Dear obsolete piece of shit,
When I click on something, the proper response is to perform the associated action, not show me the Spinning Rainbow of Death for five fucking minutes.
Your choice here is important in determining whether I keep you around as a backup or throw you out a very high window when I can finally afford a Mac Pro or something.
I'm glad we could discuss this in a civil manner.
Sincerely, your (very impatient) owner,
- CD
Finding a decent apartment in Manhattan is hard. Also, Craigslist is full of illiterate spammers.
While I'm on the topics of fun facts and the Internet, it's also a fact that the Facebook news feed is becoming a huge source of depression for me.
After all, it's so much fun to see people younger than me getting engaged/married while I have yet to even hold hands with a girl.
Have I mentioned how lonely I am lately? I'm going to go take my nightly walk and brood for a while.
Another early morning walk, another web in the face, this time in a completely different location. I had also killed a tiny spider in my room a few minutes earlier. The little bastards are out to get me.
On the other hand, I saw a really, really bright meteor while I was outside, so I guess it was worth it.
While I'm on the subject of walking, here's a somewhat related fun fact: A little over a year ago, I weighed about 235 pounds. I currently weigh about 185 pounds. My goal weight is 170 (although I'd have no problem with going lower).
I can't believe I might actually pull this thing off.
Here's a tip: If you decide to take a walk through a suburban neighborhood at 3:30 AM, you should keep in mind that certain spiders like to build webs at this time of day, and be aware of any locations where this building is likely to occur. Otherwise, you risk getting a face full of spider silk.
I'll let you figure out how I made this discovery.
Also, it's common knowledge that deer will basically stand still and stare into headlight beams. However, I've found that they're more likely to turn and run away from a flashlight beam.
Use this knowledge wisely, my friends.
Ryan "The Human Turnover" Whitney is out for 3-5 months to recover from foot surgery.
Thank you, hockey gods. You've finally answered our prayers. Maybe Kris Letang will get some more power play time now.
One downside, however, is that Darryl Sydor will probably be playing regularly. I think the question of who Mark Eaton will be paired with has been answered.
My personal defensive pairing prediction/hope:
Orpik - Gonchar
Eaton/Scuderi - Sydor
Gill - Letang
Of course, knowing Michel Therrien, we'll see just about every combination imaginable (including Alex Goligoski being thrown in a few times just for the hell of it) until he finally settles on something around February or March. At that point, Whitney will come back and mess the whole thing up all over again.
...I mentioned that I would be blogging about hockey occasionally, right?
You know, a lot of times, you can find out things about people without ever talking to or even seeing them.
For example, I'm fairly sure that the people in the two houses across the street from mine aren't interested in astronomy. After all, if they were, they probably wouldn't have had their porch lights on during the Perseids, thereby creating annoying light pollution.
Dicks.
Incidentally, Perseid meteors seem to have a habit of popping up in whatever part of the sky I was just looking at five seconds before turning my head. I guess they're shy or something. They're like the ghosts in Super Mario games.
Well, the internship is over. I'm heading back to Pittsburgh tomorrow. Wow.
Of course, the difference between this and every other time I've headed home is that I'm planning to come right back as soon as I find an apartment. I've got better connections and experience now, so I may actually be able to find a real job sometime this year.
Also, I know I kind of slacked off on the stories, but I can still share some interesting memories once I'm home.
In the meantime, just to give you an idea of what the past six weeks have been like, my resume now includes all the following experiences (my thoughts in italics):
• Transcribed several hours’ worth of interviews [The main reason I haven't blogged more]
• Performed research for various projects [Google is my friend]
• Located and organized several hundred digital photos/images for use in a documentary [Google Image Search is my friend]
• Logged and captured footage using Final Cut Pro [I was the only intern who already knew how to do this]
• Converted DV files from PAL to NTSC [If you understand all three of those abbreviations, you could probably do this one too]
• Ripped and burned DVDs [I don't even know if we had the rights to do this]
• Performed script coverage [I never actually finished this because the guy who gave me the script went to work on another project and still hasn't come back]
• Assisted in transporting and setting up equipment for shoots [Fun with FYF and Frenchy]
And that's just the stuff that's worth mentioning to potential employers. It doesn't even go into all the time I spent sweeping floors, rearranging closets and shelves, buying food for people, etc.
Anyway, more details to come later. Also, I saw a huge rat in the subway station yesterday, and I can't think of a better way to work that fact into a post than this.
UPDATE
So, a little while ago, I thought I smelled smoke, and it was gradually getting stronger. My two remaining roommates (the one I was actually sharing a room with has been gone for a week) and the one guy's girlfriend just left, so I went to the common room to investigate. Here's what I found:
At least open some fucking windows before you smoke cigars in the fucking apartment, you fucking inconsiderate shitbags.
I'm kind of glad I'm moving out in 12 hours.
Also, as long as I'm taking pictures of my roommates' stuff, here is some of their alcohol (or at least the evidence of its consumption):
Wooo.
Hey, you know what's really, really awesome?
...Waking up with a massive leg cramp that makes it painful to walk!
This should be a fun day...
UPDATE
You know, it's kind of interesting...in my next post, I was going to point out how I'd gone a couple days without dropping any f-bombs on here. However, since my leg just went into spasms again when I tried to stretch it, all I have to say is...
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
That is all.
Have I mentioned lately that I'm lonely? I don't think I mention this enough.
</sarcasm>
I know it's hard to believe, but I actually went outside and did something on Sunday.
I'll give you a second to recover from the shock of that sentence.
Anyway, I figured that since it's my last weekend in NYC (for now, at least), I should probably use it for something other than sitting around, so I headed up to Midtown Manhattan to check out Times Square and The NHL Store.
I took some (very low quality) cell phone pictures during the day, and there are quite a few of them, so for the sake of everyone's browsers, I'll continue this in the extended entry.
(DISCLAIMER: You probably won't understand half the jokes/references in this post unless you're a hockey fan)
Obviously, you can't go anywhere if you don't know how to get there, so I printed some subway directions from HopStop and headed out.
This ended up being rather interesting, since they're working on a bunch of tracks this weekend and changed some of the routes. I somehow managed to get on the proper train and transfer to another one without too much trouble, and after a long and boring ride, I emerged from the station at Rockefeller Center to find that The NHL Store was right next to it.
Convenient.
I circled around a couple times to get a feel for it...
...And then I found the front entrance...
...And headed inside to check it out:
At first, I was, as Penguins head coach Michel Therrien would say, kind of disappoint. I expected the store to be bigger and have more eye-catching features. I eventually tracked down some good stuff, though.
However, as you can see in the center of the previous photo, I was immediately kicked in the balls by this:
They could at least put a Pittsburgh Satan jersey next to it or something.
Fortunately, the pain was soon alleviated by a rather large reminder that the Pens still have the best player in the world:
There are a few more of those "larger than life" things throughout the store, such as Alex "watch me shoot puck" Ovechkin...
..."Jumbo" Joe Thornton...
...And Martin "the only reason the Devils keep making the playoffs" Brodeur:
For some reason, despite the fact that he was second in both points and MVP voting, they didn't have a picture of my favorite player, Evgeni Malkin. This just goes toward proving my theory that the league hates him for skipping the 2007 NHL Awards. Or maybe they just didn't want to look biased toward the Penguins. Whatever.
Anyway, the front of the store also features a promotional thingy for the 2009 Winter Classic:
Also featured is the "NHL Chopper." I don't even know:
Note the subway exit right outside. I told you it was convenient.
There's also a board or something with some autographs on it, but I couldn't figure out whose they were because athletes aren't allowed to write legibly:
A bit higher up, there are screens playing NHL Network stuff, as well as a big chunk of hockey sticks:
As they advertise, the store has jerseys from every NHL team lined up around the windows. For example:
I like how they make the Crosby jersey even more desirable by putting it between two that nobody is ever going to buy. Work on actually getting some fans, then you can sell merchandise. One step at a time, Southeast Division.
I hear that the store sells some pretty cool Dany Heatley and Daniel Briere jerseys too, but I couldn't get pictures because they're only visible between October and April.
(Insert rim shot here)
I think I also saw a Chris Osgood jersey, but I accidentally brushed up against it as I walked by, and it crumpled to the floor.
...Anyway...
The other clothing-related items range from cool, old school stuff like this:
...To pointless and retarded crap like this:
Also in the "retarded crap" category:
Although, to be fair, a Rubik's cube is probably more exciting than watching either of those teams play. It would give you something to do after the Devils take a one goal lead.
In the...whatever is the opposite of "retarded crap"...category, they have the Penguins' 10 Greatest Games DVD collection:
Fun fact: I already own this and have watched every game at least once.
Getting back to old school stuff, there's some pretty sweet early NHL equipment on display above the merchandise:
In addition, there's a case of autographed pucks off to one side:
Moving on, check out the entrance to the fitting room:
Despite the Obstructiontown theme, I have to admit that it's kind of cool.
In the back, you can see the booth where Gary Bettman tries to convince the audience that the refs aren't incompetent they air NHL Radio shows:
Finally, they have the actual Stanley Cup on display:
Of course, by "the actual Stanley Cup," I mean "a cheap decoration that kind of looks like the Stanley Cup." Not a huge difference, right?
Incidentally, I have seen the actual Stanley Cup (or possibly the replica cup they put there sometimes) at the Hockey Hall of Fame in Toronto, but that was years ago.
So, that's about it for that portion of the adventure. I didn't actually buy anything because there wasn't a whole lot of Pens stuff that interested me. It's not like I really needed anything, since I already have a Malkin jersey, a Malkin t-shirt, a Penguins t-shirt from Fan Appreciation Night, two Mellon Arena White Out t-shirts, a Penguins logo hat, and a Penguins Eastern Conference champions hat, as well as a bunch of posters and pictures, as I pointed out back in June. But it was interesting just to be there and check it out.
On the way out, I took this artistic shot of the building:
I think that picture would look good on the cover of an elementary school social studies textbook.
The next step was to get back home, but in order to do that, I had to go to 42nd Street Station, which is in Times Square. The trip to the general area was uneventful, but I took a picture just for the hell of it:
Soon enough, however, I arrived at Times Square, and things got a little...well, crowded:
After wandering too far and backtracking a bit, I did manage to find the station, and I successfully navigated its labyrinthine passages to locate the proper platform:
At this point, I waited...and waited...and waited...and waited...and waited. You see, I was waiting for the 2 train going downtown on the 7th Avenue express route. A couple of local 2 trains came and went on the track behind me, but I just watched them go by.
What I didn't realize until I took a closer look at some flyers posted around the area was that the 2 is only running locally on weekends for part of this month, but it still hits all the express stops, so I could've gotten on either of the ones that passed by.
Oops.
Anyway, I got on the next one and made it back to Fulton Street without further incident. When I left the station, it was raining a little, which soon led to this:
A bunch of people were gawking at it as if they'd never seen a rainbow before. Also, I heard some guy behind me say that he was going to "go beat the shit out of that leprechaun." Oooookay, dude.
That's about it. I stopped at a Subway and got a sandwich, then headed back to my room and ate it. I didn't take any pictures of that, though.
So...comments? Questions? This post took a really, really long time, especially when you factor in how long it took to upload, download, then re-upload all those photos, so I hope you all enjoyed it.
Later.
