May 29, 2010

Language Pet Peeve of the Day

Another thing that bothers annoys me about writing, mostly online, is when people can't decide choose between two usable verbs, so they just pick include them both.

Is it because they're indecisive and want to express convey their full meaning, or do they just not notice realize that they're doing it?

Verbs aren't really that hard to understand comprehend, you morons. Screw fuck you if you can't spare expend the necessary energy.

(NOTE: No thesauruses were harmed in the writing of this post)

Posted by CD at 02:39 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 27, 2010

Why Can't Nature Stay Outside?

I've killed three centipedes in the last hour, all of them in or around my room. Sometimes being nocturnal really has its drawbacks.

Incidentally, I've decided to keep track of how many 'pedes I destroy this year. I started around the beginning of the month, and counting tonight, I'm already up to 18.

Remember, this is just centipedes. It doesn't even touch on ants, silverfish, mosquitoes, spiders, those little gray things that look like potato bugs but don't roll into a ball when you touch them...

Is it winter yet?

UPDATE
And now I just had to eliminate the first sac spider I've seen in my room since I moved here. This is surely a sign of great things to come.

Keep in mind, I just really dislike centipedes (fun fact: the first time I saw a centipede as a child was when one of them fell out of my shoe and crawled down my leg). On the other hand, I have a genuine fear of sac spiders. The combination of arachnophobia and the knowledge that these things are often the true culprit in supposed "brown recluse" bites can lead to some unpleasant emotions.

I think I'm going to create a "Revolting Creatures Straight from the Bowels of Hell" category for these posts...

Posted by CD at 03:48 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Question of the Day

Now with answers!

Q: How do you tell the difference between someone who genuinely doesn't understand why "teabagger" is a derogatory term and someone who is just feigning ignorance of its sexual connotations after being called out on it?

A: The former will usually ask what the term means (or look it up themselves), while the latter will simply ask why people find it offensive. Doesn't tea come in bags?

I'm sure there are exceptions, but this is a pattern I've noticed.

Posted by CD at 02:07 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 26, 2010

What. The Fuck.

My roommate just accused me of lying to him because I think I accidentally broke a lamp (I was the one who noticed it was broken, and since I was the only one home at the time, I figured it was my fault), and even though I took responsibility, he claims my explanation of how it happened is "impossible."

Why the motherfucking motherfuck would I tell a lie that implicates me in the destruction of property? Does he think I did it on goddamn purpose or some shit?

Fuck, I hate people so much.

Posted by CD at 11:40 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Punctuation Pet Peeve of the Day

Too many people, seem to think it's proper to insert a comma between the subject and predicate of certain sentences. This practice, makes reading awkward by creating an unnecessary pause. People who do this, don't even seem to do it consistently, which makes things even weirder when trying to figure out if the comma was supposed to emphasize something.

I, don't get it. You, wouldn't do this for a simple noun-verb construction. I, hope you wouldn't, at least. It, would look pretty bizarre. You, see?

Does anyone, know how this got started? I, can't even begin to guess. Maybe people, are just stupid.

On a final note, forcing myself to write that badly was physically painful.

Posted by CD at 03:24 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

May 25, 2010

Coming Attractions(?)

I guess I might as well stop pretending that I just came out of retirement temporarily to vent about Obamacare. I think that's four times now that I've decided to quit blogging and ended up coming back.

With that said, I thought I'd inform anyone still out there that I have a bit of a political essay brewing in my mind. It's about the weird dictatorship fetish certain liberals seem to have, and an intriguing (to me) Shakespearean connection I made to it recently. It's tentatively entitled "Democrantz and Guildenstatist."

Unfortunately (for you, anyway), I actually managed to get some useful information and potential leads from one of my networking contacts yesterday, so I may be too busy to actually write the thing for a few days. In any case, this post will be here to remind both me and you that I said I would do something.

On another note, go Hawks (that feels so weird to write), and Phuck Philly. Better for Marian Hossa and Ben "Babyfat" Eager to win the Cup than Scott "Fartsmell" Hartnell, Mike "Leadership" Richards, and Dan "Rapestache" Carcillo.

Woo.

Posted by CD at 11:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Question of the Day

There seems to be a theme developing here...

Anyway, today's question is this: Has it occurred to any of the "boycott Arizona" retards that actually enforcing current immigration law is a type of "immigration reform?"

Posted by CD at 12:59 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 24, 2010

Language Pet Peeve of the Day

"Kowtow" is the English equivalent of an actual Chinese word for a deep and/or kneeling bow. It can also be used to describe the act of adopting an extremely submissive attitude.

"Cowtow," on the other hand, is a combination of two English words which can, I guess, be used to describe the act of towing a cow. Unless you are referring to this, you want to use the former spelling, not the latter. Otherwise, you're basically declaring to the world that you're a fucking moron.

Don't even get me started on "toe the line" versus "tow the line." So many dumbfucks...

Posted by CD at 07:20 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 23, 2010

More Vocabulary Fun

I kind of gave up on updating the Donktionary a while ago, but recent events have reminded me of a definition that isn't in there, but should be. Therefore, here it is:

Controversial: Any law, policy, action, or public figure a journalist doesn't like, regardless of mainstream opinion. See also polarizing.

What do you think?

Posted by CD at 03:40 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 22, 2010

Question of the Day

By the contemporary leftist definition of the word, is someone an "obstructionist" if he slams on the brakes moments before his car goes over a cliff?

Posted by CD at 09:41 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 20, 2010

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGHBBLBLBLBL!!! Redux

Remember when I used to say "college is hard" all the time?

Well, finding a job is even harder.

Like, a lot fucking harder.

In college, at least I had syllabi and lecture schedules to tell me what I was supposed to be doing, and the hard part was making the effort. Now, the hard part is actually figuring out what to do.

You see, finding a job in my chosen field (post-production) is largely dependent on networking. This means that the more people you know and/or get to know, the better chance you'll have of getting work.

As any longtime reader of SIT knows, my people skills aren't what you would consider excellent. In fact, they're barely adequate most of the time. Therefore, networking is basically a form of psychological torture to me. I have talked to a few Syracuse alumni, but it's so hard to establish and maintain contact when all you have to go on is often outdated email addresses that I've barely been able to get any useful info beyond answers to questions I kind of already knew about. Whenever I try for more, everyone either suddenly gets too busy and says to try again later or stops answering entirely.

Fun stuff, right?

I just find it vaguely unjust that in order to have the chance to do something I love, I have to do something I hate. I mean, I don't have to chug a bowl of ranch dressing every time I want to eat a cheeseburger, or watch a soccer game before watching a hockey game. Fucking reality and its scheming.

Speaking of hockey, I guess it's safe to mention now that the interview I had in December was for a paid internship with NHL Productions. Obviously, that didn't work out.

Would've been cool, though...

Posted by CD at 06:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 18, 2010

Question of the Day

Something that the last line of this post made me think about:

Many "progressives" and other borderline/full Marxists seem to be highly approving of illegal immigration. Has nobody pointed out to them that turning a blind eye to the large number of illegal workers in the U.S. enables the exploitation of a lower class by a more privileged class?

Discuss.

Posted by CD at 09:48 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

May 14, 2010

Musings

Here's a completely random epiphany that I thought might be interesting...

I was in my doctor's waiting room yesterday (fun fact: my appointment was for 5:50, and I actually got in to see him around 7:20), and at one point, a newer episode of The Simpsons came on the TV.

As I watched the show, I noticed that it hasn't improved much on the utter mediocrity that made me stop watching it a few years ago, but it still has its occasional moments. At the same time, something was missing from what was once the funniest show on television.

I always attributed this to the writers deciding that "Homer gets a wacky new job" (which, incidentally, was the main plot of the episode I saw) is still a useful premise. And I stand by that to some extent. But a little while ago, I realized that the very feel of the show has changed, and not just the plotlines.

It's hard to explain, but when I go back and watch episodes from the first few seasons, I get the impression that the characters are talking to and interacting with one another, even though they're cartoons. In the new episodes, however, it seems like they're just putting on a show for the audience, and every line and plot point is there to get a particular reaction, rather than to tell a coherent and enjoyable story.

Of course, I realize that since The Simpsons was a huge part of my late childhood/early adolescence, I could be letting nostalgia get the best of me, but I find that unlikely. After all, I still laugh at the older episodes, because they're genuinely funny. On the other hand, when I laugh at a newer one (which is rare), it's usually preceded by a quick "oh, I guess that was the joke" moment. Again, hard to explain, but I never really thought of it this way before, so maybe I'll have a clearer understanding of it later.

This entire post is, of course, meaningless to people who haven't seen The Simpsons, but I needed to get this in writing before I forgot about it.

UPDATE
I thought about it a little more, and it occurred to me that The Simpsons is the Chris Chelios of TV shows. It was an all-star at one point, but it's clearly past its prime, and it's just kind of sad and pitiful to watch it attempting to relive its glory days.

Posted by CD at 03:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 12, 2010

More of My Bizarre Thought Process in Action

I'm really not sure how to preface this. Basically, the other day, I was thinking about how the job of most modern politicians is to convince people that they enjoy being financially raped. My mind somehow made the jump from that to Stone Temple Pilots' "Sex Type Thing" (which is about a more literal version of the aforementioned political metaphor), and, well...one thing led to another, and this was the result. For the full experience, listen to the song as you read it, but imagine it in Barack Obama's voice:

Tax Type Thing

I am, I am, I am
I said I wanna bring change to you
I said I'm gonna give hope to you
You wouldn't want me have to fine you too, fine you too

I ain't, I ain't, I ain't
A buyin' into your bags of tea
I'm organizin' the community
You think I care about democracy, democracy?

I know you trust me with your health
I know you want to spread your wealth
I love to talk about myself
I'm O, you know, you know, you know

I am a Dem, a Dem
I'll put your money in the safety net
I said ya shouldn't have achieved success
I said ya shouldn't have achieved success, achieved success

I know just how to run your lives
I know you can't disprove my lies
I'll call you racist if you try
I'm O, you know, you know, you know

Here I come, I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come

I am, I am, I am
I said I wanna uh...uh...
Uh...I wanna get...
Uh...let me be clear...uh...

The teleprompter, uh...
It isn't, uh...
It's broken, and, uh...uh...
I don't, uh...can someone...

There we go...

Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come

Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come

Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come

Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come
Here I come, I come, I come

Uh, I think it's, uh...
I think it's stuck now...
Uh...hang on...
Uh...

...

...

I've also been trying to rework Metallica's "Leper Messiah" as "Obamessiah," but since it's already about a demagogue using religious iconography to fool people into giving him money, I'm really not sure what I could change to make it more appropriate.

Posted by CD at 05:49 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Let's Pause for a Moment of Immaturity

Here's a fun fact that I don't think I've mentioned before: Every day, before I go to sleep, I like to exercise the wordy parts of my brain by playing a few rounds of anagrams on the Franklin Language Master that I've had since elementary school (mine is so old that it looks nothing like the one in that link, as you'll see in a moment).

Anyway, the idea is that it gives you a word, and then you have to find all the words within that word and enter them at the prompt. It also displays the ones you've already found so you can scroll through and refresh your memory.

That paragraph is pretty much all the background necessary to get a quick laugh out of this picture, which I took during one of yesterday's attempts:

asscock.jpg

Heh. "Asscock." There was another one yesterday that contained "shit," but the LM doesn't recognize that as a word.

Anyway, back to failing at finding a job. Wooooo.

Posted by CD at 03:58 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 09, 2010

Liabetic

Exhibit A:

"With iPods and iPads and Xboxes and PlayStations, -- none of which I know how to work -- information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation," Obama said.

Exhibit B:

The Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama showcased his diverse musical taste, ranging from Bob Dylan to Jay-Z and Bruce Springsteen, after revealing the playlist on his iPod.

I realize that "iPod" may just be a way of describing the music someone listens to, much like any soft drink can be a "Coke" in certain parts of the country, but at the same time, this fits so well with Obama's pattern of lying even when he doesn't have to that I find it hard to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Just something I thought was interesting. Incidentally, other blogs have more detailed coverage of the problems with Obama's mindset that the first story reveals, so I won't bother with that.

Posted by CD at 10:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

May 03, 2010

Strange, I Don't Recall Ordering the Shit Sandwich with a Side of Fuck You

You know how some days are like a greatest hits compilation of every event or situation that could, just on its own, cause a day to be considered a bad one? Because that's what the last 24 hours have been like for me.

The word "miserable" was invented for times like this...

Posted by CD at 09:37 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack