From a political science lecture on the relationship between the president and Congress:
Accountability breads responsibility.
I don't know why, but that's a hilarious mental image.
(I should note that I made a strange typo of my own recently; On a paper I got back today, it seems I meant to write "blank check," but I accidentally wrote "black check" instead. I have no idea how I missed that.)
You know, open-book exams are great. What's not so great is when you don't realize that an exam is open-book until you show up for class and wonder why you're the only one there who didn't bring any books. It's also fun trying to write essays based on your notes and your memory when you're expected to have hundreds of pages of resources in front of you.
In other words, I think I just failed history.
Shit.
Yeah, you read that right. I saw the "gay cowboy movie" (Not That There's Anything Wrong With That™) this afternoon, and now I'm going to review it.
First of all, I didn't watch BBM by choice. Someone in my TRF class managed to obtain a DVD meant for reviewers, and the professor decided that showing it to us in its entirety (the class is three hours long) was more important than screening the montages we've been working on for the past couple weeks.
Have I mentioned how much I love college, by the way?
Anyway, since I am a filmmaker, and I need a reason to procrastinate something to write about, I'm going to review the movie. Check it out in the extended entry...if you're not an EVIL, BIGOTED HOMOPHOBE!!!!11!!!!
...Sorry, I don't know where that came from. Anyway...
Basic plot synopsis: Two sheepherders, Jack Twist and Ennis Del Mar, work together in the mountains for a couple weeks and alternate between being friends and trying to kill each other, then get really drunk one night and somehow end up having violent gay sex in a tent.
After this, they both go home, marry women, and have children, but they continue getting together for sex every few months. Because every other character in this movie apparently wants nothing more than to bash him some ho-mos (there's a semi-graphic flashback involving a dude being dragged by his genitals with a truck), they have to keep their relationship a secret.
Eventually, Ennis gets a divorce, and Jack cheats on his wife with men and women for several years until three fellow ranchers smash his face with a tire iron and leave him for dead. After this, Ennis finds out that his daughter is getting married. The end.
Now, that doesn't seem like a lot of plot, right? Seems like it could be told in about 90 minutes. But that's not what happens, as this movie is excruciatingly long, slow, and boring. Compared to BBM, even a ridiculously tedious film like Napoleon Dynamite seems like a non-stop thrill ride.
For example, the first 30 minutes of the film basically consist of the following (in about this order):
- Sheep
- Mumbled dialogue
- Sheep again
- Wide-angle shots of mountains
- More sheep
- Mumbled dialogue that includes the word "shit" several times
- Even more sheep
- More wide-angle shots of mountains
- More mumbled dialogue
- Still more sheep
- OMG BUTSECKS!!!
- Mountains again
- Mutilated sheep
- Even more mumbled dialogue
- OMFG 2 D00DS K1SS1NG!!1!!
- A few more sheep
- "Shit...shit...shit..."
- A few more mountains
After this, the rest of the film is basically a chronicle of Ennis and Jack's various deceptions and implied sexual trysts. And in the spirit of the first act, everything that follows is boring as hell.
I've basically described the plot already: Ennis and Jack tell their wives that they're going fishing, when in reality, they're going up to Brokeback Mountain and getting busy. In the butt. If you know what I mean.
There's really no reason to elaborate any more than that, because the synopsis covers pretty much every major event. I'm more interested in the implications of the plot.
I'm aware that this movie is supposedy "controversial," but I really don't see it. On one hand, it's been portrayed as some sort of gay propaganda, but if that's the best they can do, then I don't think anyone should be worried. The "cowboys" (who, interestingly enough, never even go near any cows) seem more bisexual than gay, and there's not even that much explicit content (both sexes are shown making use of carnal knowledge, but there are more boobies than weeners, if you get my drift).
The little gay sex that is shown is portrayed as rather rough and unpleasant, and Jack and Ennis seem to take a punch in the face to mean "let's get it on." Not very effective propaganda, if you ask me. I didn't feel magically compelled to start wearing pink tank-tops and listening to show tunes or anything. On the whole (heh, see what I did there?), the film hardly tries to convince people that the gay lifestyle is valid, other than by invoking pity/empathy/etc. Which brings me to the next point...
The other side of the controversy coin seems to be that BBM is somehow a powerful tool for social change because it points out how horribly gays are treated in this country. But that, much like a lot of this movie, is bullshit. It takes place mostly in the 1970s, so the attitudes portrayed within can hardly be said to represent the thinking of today. The only external conflict between the main characters and "society" that stems from their having teh ghey is the (valid, within the framework of the plot) fear of being killed by the dozens of rednecks who populate the area. Everything else is entirely their fault.
Think about it. They start off as two unmarried dudes working alone in the wilderness, and they eventually discover that they enjoy engaging in buckfuttery with one another. However, they both decide that they "ain't queer" and go their separate ways, choosing to marry and start families.
Again, no visible pressure compels them to do this. They make the choice to live as heterosexuals, then act like they're being oppressed when those choices lead to strife. Even if it wasn't intended, the main theme of the film ends up not being "homosexuality is okay" or "homophobia is evil," but "deception can fuck up your life."
Jack and Ennis lie to their wives, then Ennis's wife finds out (very early, in fact) what he's really up to and refuses to admit it until years later. In an early moment when Jack's boss (who witnessed one of their get-togethers) tells him he can't work on Brokeback Mountain anymore, the implication is that it's because he's gay, but it's also because some of the sheep were attacked by a coyote while they were neglecting their duties.
The real moral of the story: "To thine own self be true." If both characters had accepted who they were instead of entangling their wives and children in their web of lies, they probably would have been better off. But that wouldn't make for a very interesting film, would it?
I had heard a lot about the cinematography in BBM before seeing it, and I will admit that a lot of the shots are very well-done. However, this doesn't validate the forced plot or the agonizingly slow pace. You can spend hours trying to take the perfect photo of a piece of shit, but in the end (see, I did it again!), you've still just taken a photo of a piece of shit.
And that's all I have to say about that.
I was just attempting to study some economics, and I came across an unintentionally funny passage in the book.
The professor of this class also wrote the book, and one of the techniques he uses in writing is to use "she," "her," etc. almost exclusively, rather than the conventional masculine pronouns. Obviously, he didn't think this through, because his strategy led to the following:
There's long been a market for sperm donors. The article cited an ad for such a donor. The ad said that a desirable donor should be about 5'10" tall, athletic, and have at least 1400 on her SATs.
If you need me to explain why that's funny, you shouldn't be here.
For the last couple days (in between studying, of course...*cough*...), I've been experimenting with drop-D guitar tuning. I didn't know exactly what to expect, but...holy crap!!! It's frickin' awesome! You can play power chords with one frickin' finger, and it sounds heavier than standard.
As a real test of the tuning, I recorded a substantially abridged version of my all-time favorite song, "Downfall" by TRUSTcompany (although I think the actual song is tuned even lower than this). Check this out:
Seriously. Ryan, I don't know how often you stop by here, but if you happen to be reading...we have to do a cover of this song at some point. We've played it before, after all, and now we could use two guitars like TC did. Something to think about.
- "Harding was basically a whore."
- "...It's crap, by the way. It's like kissing your sister; it's just not worth it."
- "Any column in the New York Times is worth a C in this class."
- "You're gonna have 200 men out of work for three days if you don't get a drill bit, you stupid bastards!"
- "If you're really hungry, you don't think much of politics except to eat your neighbor."
If I don't post for the next two weeks, it doesn't mean I'm quitting again. I just have four exams coming up, for which I have to catch up on about 1000 pages of reading (literally).
Bye.
In case anyone didn't believe my "most surreal week ever" post, let me tell you how my day went.
I woke up this morning around 10:45. Seems pretty normal, right? Except that I was supposed to get up at 8:50 and go to my 9:30 economics class. Also, the thing that woke me up was not an alarm clock, but the fire alarm.
I was so confused and disoriented by the combined thoughts of "why the hell did I not get up earlier?" and "why is the fire alarm going off?" that I really had no choice but to wait the frickin' thing out, and after a few more minutes, the alarm stopped and everyone who had been awake to go outside came back in.
Still confused, I got up and went to wake up my computer, but strangely, it was off. After messing around with it until the start button actually made it turn on, I glanced over at the clock on my microwave, and suddenly, everything made sense. Why?
Because the clock said that it was 1:40 AM.
If you haven't figured it out by now, there was a power failure at some point this morning (caused by extremely high winds), which apparently screwed up my alarm clocks and caused some fan in the dining hall to set off the fire alarm (I just found out about the fan part a few minutes ago).
Anyway, since I still had other things to do, I got dressed and went to get some lunch. As I glanced at the elevator buttons, I saw a sign essentially telling us that we have to take the stairs because the elevators might trap us inside if the power goes out again.
I live on the sixth floor. Do the math.
After I walked down to the dining hall, I noticed a sign on the card swiping counter that said "DINING HALL CLOSED."
Oh, good.
Luckily, the vending machines here take ID cards, so I made a couple purchases, and after walking back up six flights of stairs, I had a bag of Cheetos, a bag of Doritos, and two granola bars for lunch. Delicious.
After this bountiful feast, I had to head out to help with auditions for my TRF project. One member of my group is an RA, so he was able to reserve a room for us to use. The problem with this is that he's an RA in Day Hall.
Now, obviously, that doesn't mean much to you guys. But Day Hall (where I lived freshman year, incidentally) is on Mount Olympus. The highest hill on campus. Which can only be reached by climbing an assload of stairs. And it's about 15-20 minutes from the dorm I'm in now.
Other than getting there, the auditions weren't that bad. Although I find it strange that the other two members of my group are taking acting classes (and in true stereotypical fashion, one of them is a flaming homersexual) and claim to know a bunch of good actors, but most of the people we auditioned had no acting experience whatsoever. I think it went okay, though. Other than the whole "sitting around for half an hour waiting for people to show up" part.
Now I'm back in my room, and I just realized that I'm really hungry. I wonder why...
Okay, so I was just in the dining hall, and since most of the food in there is impossible to identify by sight alone, I was checking out the sneeze guard to see what had been written there. Above the baked potatoes, I saw this:
BAKED POTATO'S
Now, unless these things actually belong to someone named Baked Potato, that makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
ADDING. AN. APOSTROPHE. TO. A. WORD. DOES. NOT. MAKE. IT. PLURAL. YOU. RETARDS.
Okay, time to eat. I hope Baked Potato doesn't care that I took one of his vegetables.
I think there's something in the air. I have no idea what it is, but still...
I'm having one of the most surreal weeks of my life. Seriously. I won't go into too many details, but here's a few out-of-context points to give you an idea:
- Killer staples
- Dancing professor
- Second-hand déjà vu
- People grooming each other while singing
- Potential electric shock
- Psychic webcomic
...And there's more that I can't think of at the moment.
I really can't come up with anything else to write.
I'm going to be rather busy this weekend (assuming I don't procrastinate...which I will...), so here's some stuff to listen to.
I mentioned earlier that my computer has GarageBand, which is a really cool program for making recordings. One of the tools it provides is hundreds of loops of different instruments. I decided to mess around with these a couple weeks ago, and after a lot of experimentation, I managed to make two decent songs using nothing but the pre-recorded loops the program comes with. Check these out:
Also, I've been making some more slow progress on guitar, as three recordings I made tonight will hopefully demonstrate.
The first song is similar to the sample I posted before (and it's improvised just like that one), but I used more than three chords this time, and there's a kickass lead solo near the end (fair warning: I kind of made the lead a lot louder than necessary). It's still not much compared to what good guitarists can do, but considering the fact that I've only been playing for a month (not to mention the problem of practicing in a dorm room), I'm happy with it.
The second song is kind of Pink Floyd-esque for the first three minutes. Everything you hear during the intro was made using the guitar somehow, and it's all the same track and take. I just applied a really cool effect to make it sound like laughter, footsteps, etc. After that, it goes into a pseudo-acoustic solo thingy for another few minutes that sounds pretty good at times. Again, totally improvised.
The final song is my rendition of Nirvana's "Come As You Are." It's only a couple sections, and it's not tuned perfectly, but I think it sounds really, really sweet.
Anyway, check 'em all out, and I'll be back...sometime.
As I've mentioned, I'm taking another film production class this semester. The current project is a one-minute montage.
It took us almost four hours to shoot it today.
Good times.
Not a lot of good ones today (although the lecture itself was pretty informative), but there were a couple interesting quotes:
- "Boobs look different in Samoa. It must be the real thing."
- "In certain ways, you can pick on France...and I am...because I think Clemenceau's an idiot."
- "I don't give a DAMN about your family!"
NOTE: In that last one, he was talking about how historians hate genealogists. It wasn't a comment to a student or anything...
I was checking my school email earlier today, and I noticed a subject line that said "Communications Internships." I happen to be looking for a communications internship right now, so obviously, I was interested. Then I read this line in the message itself:
PAID SUMMER INTERNSHIPS IN COMMUNICATIONS FOR MINORITIESThe Louis Carr Internship Foundation (LCIF) is accepting applications until March 1, 2006 for Summer 2006 paid internships in communications from minority students, who are now completing their sophomore or junior year of college.
Oh, great. Thanks for getting my hopes up, racists.
Man, it's been a long time since I did this.
How to right a political campaign slogan
I'm guessing that "check your spelling" is part of the process.
blind people wish see bush face
Now that's just all over the place. I think someone just copied the anti-filter line from a spam email.
bush twins speech sucked, slutty
Whoa, what's up with that last part? What kind of sucking are we talking about here?
...I think I'll leave it at that.
UPDATE
Got another good one right after I posted this:
I think the capitalization conveys a sense of urgency that makes this a lot funnier.
It's come to my attention that most people are too dumb to get through life without having someone tell them what to do at all times. Therefore, I've decided to start an advice column. And wouldn't you know it, I've already got a letter to answer! Let's take a look:
DEAR CD:I'm a moron, but since anyone can get into college these days, that hasn't stopped me from pursuing an education. My problem is that nobody seems to understand that I'm the most important person on the planet.
When I try to have a nice conversation with my equally stupid friends during lectures (and isn't that what lectures are for, after all?), we have to whisper to each other the whole time because these crazy professors (more like "oppressors") don't like people talking in class. Isn't that crazy?
How do I convince my professors that it's physically impossible for me to be quiet for a whole hour?
- LOQUACIOUS IN LECTURE
DEAR LOQUACIOUS:
You're right, you are a moron. It's clear that you're never going to amount to anything, so I suggest blowing your brains out now so your mind-numbing stupidity won't infect people around you who actually try to pay attention in class.
Hope that helps!
You know, a lot of people like to claim that spelling doesn't matter as long as people understand what you're trying to say, and I suppose that in casual written interactions, that's somewhat acceptable. But if you're trying to have a serious discussion on the Internet, you should at least make an effort to look like you have some knowledge of the English language.
Think about this: If you don't even take the time to check your spelling, how can I believe that you took the time to check your facts?
On a related note, I'm frickin' tired of seeing words followed by this:
(sp?)
If you don't know how to spell a word, either look it up or DON'T USE IT!!!
Lazy bastards.
You know, sitting through four hours of lectures in one day can get exhausting, so it's good to try and find ways to make it more interesting. For example, I now have a reason to pay attention in history because I can collect Stinchisms for the blog. But I'm also a big fan of making drawings to remind myself of the theme of the lecture.
For example, my poli-sci professor was talking about the organization of Congress, and when he mentioned the party whip, I drew a picture of a whip wearing a party hat. I'm also reminded of my horrible statistics class from freshman year, where I attempted to remember the term "root mean square" by drawing a frowning square with lines growing out of it.
This technique doesn't always work, but it's better than doing crossword puzzles in class like certain people I've seen...
As long as I'm writing about lectures...I think I have a sign on my back that says "ask if you can borrow a pen from me."
Listen, dumbasses, if you can't even remember to bring a writing implement to a 300-level class, maybe you should ask yourself if you're really serious about the whole college thing.
You may be wondering if there's a point to this post. And the answer is...no.
Sorry.
(See this post if you don't know what a Stinchism is)
A few good ones today. Not very political, just funny and presented somewhat out of context. Enjoy:
- "After 50 years, can't someone figure out what the hell the Japanese are saying?"
- "We're the only country that still argues about evolution. Even the Vatican is saying 'evolution is a fact, for Christ's sake!'...well, they don't say 'for Christ's sake.'"
- "The Russians said 'we've been here for 50 years, let us vote!' And the Estonians said 'you haven't been here for 50 years, you invaded us, you bastards!'"
- "Toledo is not America. I don't know what it is, but just...give it to Canada. Texas goes to Mexico, Toledo goes to Canada. Wipe it off the face of the earth."
- "...That's the first requirement in designing anything for the Army: 'Make them look as ugly as hell.'"
- "When I take over as dictator, I'm going to make North Dakota a national park."
This is all from one class that I showed up 10 minutes late for.
Good times in TRF today. We were learning how to use the new cameras (which are freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeakin' sweet), and the professor was seeing how much we knew. The following was an exchange between her and a student I will refer to as JF (not completely verbatim):
PROFESSOR: This is the diopter. Who knows what a diopter is?
JF: Yeah, Schwarzenegger plays one in his next movie. He's got a big claw and everything. It's ill.
CLASS: Stunned silence/nervous laughter
JF: ...I was trying to be funny. Didn't work out. You know...three hour class...just trying to lighten the mood...
For the record, the diopter is the part of the viewfinder that adjusts the focus of the eyepiece itself.
The dude who said the Schwarzenegger thing is basically the college version of the class clown, so I may have some more quotes from him in the near future...
So, I just went down to the dining hall (I accidentally typed "dining hell" the first time...although that's probably more accurate) for some lunch, and because being around people sucks, I got a takeout container and brought it up to my room.
Anyway, I bit into my grilled cheese sandwich, and something seemed to be missing, so I opened it up, and...
No cheese. I am currently eating a fucking toast sandwich.
That's always a good way to start the week, right?
Okay, so...I started writing this post a couple days ago, then got a bit distracted by life. Therefore, let me begin by saying:
GO STEELERS! WOOHOO!!! ONE FOR THE THUMB, MUTHAFUCKAS!!!!
Anyway...
I'm back to blogging. I guess I should fill in the last month or so and explain the direction I want to take the blog in the future. Go to the extended entry for the full story, as it were.
First of all, SIT is going to have a much more personal slant from now on. I'll probably still rant about politics and everything (you'll see why a little later), but as I said before, I feel like two years was long enough for me to write about most of my beliefs, and it seems like a waste of time to keep saying the same things over and over. I'm using my band as a way to get my politics into the public sphere now...or at least I will when someone listens to our demo.
Anyway, I'm writing this post on a brand spankin' new Powerbook:
Yes, I'm aware that my work area is a fire hazard.
My old computer was nice and everything, but it was freakin' huge, and this one is a lot easier to move around. It also has a lot more hard drive space and comes with GarageBand software. Which leads to my next big update:
I'm playing guitar now:
Yep. My parents got me some early birthday presents before I went back to school (by the way, did I mention that my 21st birthday was last Friday? It seems like such a waste...heh...that I don't drink), and along with the computer, I got a freakin' guitar. I was just going to borrow my brother's, but he left it with his ex-girlfriend for some reason, so I guess it was just easier to get a new one.
The guitar itself really isn't anything special (it's basically a cheap imitation Stratocaster), and in typical CD fashion, I managed to break the high E-string while tuning (which means I've been playing a five-string guitar for the past couple weeks), but I am getting better. Check out this recording I made with GarageBand last week:
...Yeah. So, now you know why I'm the drummer for Suspended Agitation and not the guitarist. I have been practicing since then, and I've learned to play a few songs very badly and slowly (including two that I wrote a while ago), but it's a slow process. My fingertips hurt.
Anyway, there's really not much more to write about concerning events that took place while I wasn't blogging, but I do want to write about the rather interesting semester I've managed to get myself into. Let's go through the classes individually:
ECN 203: Economic Ideas and Issues: Economics is a bit of a dry subject, but I really need to learn something about this stuff. The professor is...about how you'd expect an economics professor to be. Droning voice, balding, glasses, etc. He looks kind of like the Dad character from "Calvin and Hobbes" with a mustache (observe). He seems pretty sane, although on Friday, he launched into a somewhat random defense of the Soviet Union (based, as usual, on the fact that they had universal healthcare and education) and called Karl Marx "brilliant." He claims he doesn't agree with Marx's conclusions, but that still weirded me out a little.
TRF 521: Dramatic Production: One day a week. Three hours per class. Fun stuff. I've already written a 13 page script, joined a group for a production, and learned how to use Avid. If I go long periods of time without posting, it's probably because I'm out doing something for this class. Hopefully, I'll at least have a 12-15 minute short film to post at the end of the semester. Our script involves deceit, hitchhiking, and architecture. That's all I'll say for now.
PSC 329/HST 341: The Modern Presidency: I'm technically in the history section for this, since the political science section was full, but really, it makes no difference at all, so it counts toward my minor. I have the same professor for this that I had for my history class back in Spring '05 (the one who is a card-carrying member of the ACLU and whose writing guidelines remind students not to use language that "smacks of jingoist nationalism"), and she's being surprisingly unbiased this time around...although she did suggest the other day that Clinton was impeached for "diddling with an intern" (unless that's what they're calling perjury these days). I have a 5-7 page paper on FDR due in a week that I've barely thought about so far. Good times indeed.
PSC 305: Legislative Process and U.S. Congress: Another one for the minor. This class is actually ridiculously boring so far, and most of the information is stuff that I've learned already in other poli-sci classes. Also, the professor cancelled class one day and had to leave early a couple other days, so we're about a week behind the syllabus already. Not much else to report, although when we were discussing the State of the Union address, one student suggested that Republicans are "smoking crack." When asked which Republicans he was referring to, he said "all of them" or something. I love college.
HST 337: World Politics Since 1914: There's so much to say about this class, I hardly know where to begin. In a nutshell, the professor is a cantankerous old man who hates every politician who ever lived. He's the one who subtly endorsed the assassination of President Bush (basically, he mentioned that his niece or some other relative said that someone should "shoot George Bush," and he classified this as a "natural American reaction to incompetence." Oh, and did I mention that most of the class laughed at this? I'm not sure what to think).
Also, he apparently thinks that Ronald Reagan was the second dumbest president of all time (after Warren G. Harding) and that if you believe we're bringing democracy to Iraq, he "has some property in Florida to sell you." In addition, he believes that Americans get concerned about Mexican immigrants and not Canadian immigrants because Canadians "are like us." He also claims that we shouldn't fight wars based on human rights because people don't all have the same rights, only the ones given to them by their government. I assume, therefore, that he's not familiar with (or doesn't agree with) the Declaration of Independence.
I actually wouldn't classify the guy as a liberal, since he also went after John F. Kennedy and Jimmy Carter, but man...so much material.
So, yeah...I'll be writing a lot about him. I'll try to remember specific quotes and blog them after class (his name is Stinchcombe, so these will be known as "Stinchisms"). Look for those on Tuesdays and Thursdays around 11:15 AM.
One non-political quote to start things off: He was talking about tariff barriers the other day, but it came out as "bariff terriers." Bwahaha. Just a note: If you've seen the show "Crank Yankers," imagine Elmer Higgins saying these quotes, because the professor sounds almost exactly like that. Seriously. I might bring my laptop to class one day and try to make an audio recording, but that's only a remote possibility.
Oh, and I also have to write a 15-19 page paper for that class. Yay.
Finally, I've got a mind-numbing amount of reading this semester. Observe:
I'm already a few hundred pages behind on that, so I can't spend a lot of time blogging, but I decided that now that I have things to write about again, why not?
And now, I have to do my economics homework. Later.
UPDATE
Holy crap, I almost forgot something very important! Check out what my grandparents sent me for my birthday:
This photo is dedicated to Army NCO Guy, wherever he is...
All right, I know there's probably no one reading this, but just in case...
I'll be honest. I wasn't taking a hiatus for the last month. I was seriously ready to call it quits. I felt like I had nothing more to say, and my workload this semester is so ridiculous that I didn't think I would have time anyway. But something happened this morning that made me realize that I still need to blog:
My history professor implied that assassinating President Bush would be a good idea.
This is just one of many, many things you'll be able to read about on SIT in the next few days. I'd write more, but I have to leave for class in four minutes, so keep checking back.
Later, minions.
