Did you ever notice how everything is ten times more interesting when you're supposed to be doing homework? I could stare at the wall for an hour and laugh like an idiot the whole time if it meant I didn't have to work. It's incredible how easy it is to not get anything done. Just thought I would make a public service announcement. I have to go now.
I have laundry to do, so I'm going to make this as quick as possible (that's a lie! This is a rant-a-thon!). I was just reading some statements from the ACLU's homepage about "religious freedom" (I don't remember how I ended up there, but it gave me a rant topic, so here it is), and I think we can now safely say that ACLU stands for "Anti-Christian Lunatics Unite." Seriously. They talk about preventing restriction of civil liberties and upholding the Bill of Rights (or some crap like that), but they seem extremely concerned about eliminating religion.
Isn't that odd? An organization that endorses "freedom of religion" is actually encouraging "freedom from religion" (which, according to David Limbaugh, is a real organization. Don't get me started...). Some of the stories in their "religious freedom" section included one about eliminating a moment of silence in schools because the MOS might be used for prayer. Another dealt with how creationism isn't science because it doesn't deal with facts, you know, the usual. That's probably talking about YEC, but the sentiment is still there.
Yet another article criticized the voluntary Bible study and prayer sessions conducted by members of the U.S. government. How does this promote religious freedom? By the way, every article I saw was about Christianity. How come we don't hear anything about Hindus with those red dots on their foreheads? That's a public display of religion!
(NOTE: THIS IS SATIRE! REPEAT, SATIRE!) Oh, wait, it's just their culture. It would be intolerant to tell them not to display their religion. But Christianity? That's the tool the evil white patriarchy has used to enslave women and minorities for 2,000 years! If it doesn't stop, we may never enjoy the right to marry members of our own gender, or murder toddlers when they won't stop breaking things, or have sex with frigging 7 year old girls!
Those fundamentalist bigots! What makes them think that they can restrict our atheistic freedom with their "Buy-bulls" and their "Jebus H. Chrysler on a Ritz Cracker?" They're even trying to teach our poor, innocent (but expendable until age 5 and do-able at age 6, if we get our way) children that some invisible old man in the sky made the earth out of Play-Doh, plywood, and some Crazy-Glue in the year 6000 B.C. (before conservatives ruined the planet with their crazy stories)!!!!
Why, they even think there's this thing called "morality!" Apparently some things we do are "rongg" and others are "riite" or "gudd." If we don't do the "riite" thing, we'll be sent to Helena, Montana, where Santa Claus will roast us over an open fire for eternity! Those fools! Those bigoted, deluded, intolerant fools! Why won't they let us believe whatever idiotic load of prehistoric monkey crap we want? I'll defend a person's right to believe that God is actually a giant hamster, and the Milky Way is his exercise wheel! You see, that's original!
These Christians just believe what's written in some book by people from the Middle East. Everyone knows the Quran is the only good book to be written in the Middle East! Those poor Muslims were tired of the evil Christian dictator, Paul James Ashcroft, feeding them to lions, so they talked to Allah and found out that they had a sovereign right to control Israel!
And then Allah played with the hamster...well, I forget that part of the story, but it's all detailed in the upcoming ACLU publication, "Why We Must Save Religion from Christians." It's an engrossing look at how the infidels fundamentalist Christians have taken away the freedom of peace-loving martyrs Muslims and have made it impossible to die for Allah and go to heaven to receive 72 young virgin boys to have bisexual relations with while Bill Clinton watches from behind a screen.
It then looks at how open-minded, free-thinking, unbiased atheists aren't allowed to go into cult meetings church services and tell the racist homophobic sexist murderers Christians that their God doesn't exist and they're wasting their lives. What's more, Christians won't even let members of their own organizations have religious freedom. Take that Gene Robinson guy, the gay bishop. If his version of Christianity says homosexuality is okay, then it's obviously better than the Bible.
What right do those bigots have to say that they have "doctrine?" I understand that doctrine is just a combination of "doctor" and "latrine." See? They can't even come up with a real word! What's that mean? And Catholics are the worst! What right do those fascists in the Catholic church have to tell their priests that they can't molest young boys? Love between a grown man and a young boy is perfectly natural! Can't you see that we obviously evolved the ability to have perfectly fulfilling relationships like this, but the Christians altered our genetics so homosexuals could no longer reproduce?
Also, pregnancy used to be a choice all the time. There was a special organ that controlled whether or not a woman (or man, before Christians came along) would get pregnant, but then Noah threw everyone off the boat who had this, leaving just him and his wife and kids. Because they were mutants without natural birth control, they evolved a race of humans that had to use condoms, so in a way, Christians are responsible for unwanted pregnancies! Abortion is just us exercising our religious freedom.
After all, the Constitution says that no person will be denied the right to practice their religion. Why should we let Christians and their radical beliefs infringe on our religious freedom? WHY? OH, I FEEL SO VICTIMIZED...YOU, THE PERSON READING THIS! YOU ARE A RACIST...SEXIST...HOMOPHOBE...UM...
.FASCIST...NAZI...HITLER...ASHCROFT...BUSH...CHENEY...REAGAN...QUAYLE
...LIMBAUGH...SANTORUM...O'REILLY...CHARLIE DANIELS...DENNIS MILLER...KELSEY GRAMMER...GOLDFISH...SIDEWALK...HANGGLIDER...ROOTIN' TOOTIN' HIGH FALUTIN'...YOU SUCK! YOU F***ING SUCK! I HATE YOU! YOU HEAR ME? HEY, LET GO OF ME!!! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO SILENCE ME, YOU INTOLERANT BIGOTED RACIST FASCIST MONO MORADO LAVAPLATOS LOCO KOO KOO KACHOO NI NI NI ECKY ECKY ECKY PIKANG ZOOM BOING ZOWLI ZHIV.....(and so on)
Okay, if you read all the way through that and are not offended, either you're emotionally detached from the world and may be a psychopath, or you completely agree with me. I'm not sure which is scarier. Anyway, that was my attempt at stereotyping the ACLU and other far-left organizations that oppress Christians and conservatives under the banners of "tolerance" and "rights."
I said that it was satire, but I sometimes think this is actually how antitheists view Christianity. They don't know what it's about, but they know it's eeeeeeeeevvvvviiiiillllllllll!!!!!!! I also made references to their defense of Muslim terrorists, abortion, and pedophilia (I'm not saying the ACLU endorses all this stuff, but leftists tend to latch onto these issues). I hope you can take a joke, but I also hope this makes you think about what kinds of people are running an organization that is devoted to "liberties." I still have to do laundry.
Wow, having a lot of work to do makes me creative. Maybe I can blog full time after Syracuse expels me for not turning in any work. Oh, well. I think I've posted more than enough for today. Later.
*UPDATE*
I was just re-reading this, and I think I may have confused the ACLU with NAMBLA a couple times. Oh, well. I've read Salon.com. I know how lefties think. Sorry if I offended anyone. On the other hand, if you're offended by me making fun of pedophiles, then something is wrong with you.
*UPDATE #2*
It seems this satire was a little more accurate than I thought. Apparently, the ACLU has not only associated with NAMBLA in the past, but has actually defended them. I rest my case.
Hey, I've added some new links to the top of the page. I decided to link to Moorewatch.com, Michael Moore Hates America, and Bowling for Truth. In case you haven't figured it out, I don't like Michael Moore. I haven't actually seen "Bowling for Columbine" (I accidentally typed "Blowing for Columbine" a second ago; that's not right), but I know enough about it from "Bowling for Truth" that I can see how much of an idiot this man is. I mentioned earlier that I have seen "Roger and Me" (my Sociology professor showed it), and although MM seems to be telling the truth about GM, he does lie to get into a press conference, and he tries to illegally interview Roger Smith several times. Also, he's really annoying. In any case, his Oscar "acceptance speech" is enough to deserve sites like this to be dedicated to him, so I'm linking them. By the way, if you go to these, you'll find that Moore actually didn't create a documentary, so the Oscar should be revoked. I'm pretty sure there's a page where you can sign a petition asking the Academy to take it away. I put my name on it, and you should too. Enjoy the links. Also, I happened to stumble across a Baptist site a little while ago calling Hugh Ross a heretic (it wasn't Landover Baptist or anything; this one was real). I won't get too far into my specific religious beliefs (you already know I'm a Christian), but I will say that young-earth creationism is one of the main reasons there are so many atheists in the scientific community. If you can't accept that the universe is really old, how can you accept any other scientific findings? The fact that only young-earth believers are finding evidence that the planet is 6,000 years old should tell you that they have an agenda. Everyone else, including many Christians, realizes that science, in this case, is telling the truth. You see, there's this thing called the Hubble Space Telescope...anyway, Hugh Ross is one of the most intelligent Christians in the history of Christianity, and I hate it when these narrow-minded YEC's try to anti-intellectualize the Bible. When the Big-Bang was proposed as the origin of the universe, atheists rejected it because it implied a Creator. I don't understand why these people won't embrace the truth. The only reason they think the Bible says the earth and stars were created at the exact same time is because it was interpreted that way until astronomers discovered otherwise. People used to think the Bible said the planet was flat, but now we know it describes a spherical world. I'm pretty sure there's a reference to "the circle of the earth" in there somewhere, but I haven't read the entire Bible...yet. Again, I'm sorry if you don't really care that much about religious issues, but this stuff bothers me. It's hard enough being a Christian in the 21st century without people spreading foolishness and passing it off as the truth. On another note, if you think it's weird that I consider myself a Christian while reviewing Nickelback CD's and talking about how we should skin Saddam Hussein alive, I understand. You may not agree with my worldview, but if I'm wrong, I'll find out soon enough. I may post more "proper" religious writings in the future to clarify some of my views, so keep checking. And, if you just happen to be a young-earth creationist, I advise you to check out Reasons.org and Godandscience.org. In fact, everyone should see these sites. As I parenthetically noted before, I would probably be an agnostic if I hadn't found these sites. Rich Deem and Hugh Ross are pretty much responsible for the fact that I'm still a Christian today, and if you're not at least somewhat convinced after reading their sites that Jesus Christ is/was/will always be God, then you're doing something that my Philosophy professor taught us is called "cognitive dissonance," where you deny what's obviously true so you can keep doing something you know is detrimental to your well-being. I've been typing for way too long, so I'm proably going to stop. I still have a lot of work to do tonight. Remember, always keep an open mind, but don't open it so much that your brain escapes. That's how liberals are created.
I really couldn't think of any other title for this post, and that one kind of sums up how I'm feeling today. I don't have any rants or lists (which are my favorite kinds of posts, if you couldn't tell) in mind today, nor do I have that much time to blog. Since I'm a little short on ideas, I'll describe what kind of day I've had. I had a Spanish test today at 9:30 in the morning, which is way too early to be working with another language (I actually have to get up at 7:30, which sucks even more). About 7 minutes after that, I had a Communications test. Want to know how long it took? 80 minutes! It took 80 minutes! It was 25 short answer questions and 2 essays, and it took 80 MINUTES! Now, I realize that this is college and the test was supposed to take the whole class to finish, but 80 minutes?! I spent about 2 hours studying for the dang thing last night, and I still couldn't answer 3 of the questions. Something is wrong with that...hmm, maybe I do have a rant for today. Anyway, I just finished listening to "The Long Road" again, and then I spent a couple minutes watching my roommate yell at the Yankees on TV. I haven't talked about my roommate yet, but I proably will mention him a few more times. This guy is a total New York sports fanatic! He stops everything to watch the Giants, he yells things at the Yankees, and he has a Rangers screen saver on his computer. That's a sign of obsession, folks. It makes me a little nervous. I won't even get into his obsession with the "Rocky" movies. By the way, I don't know if he'll ever find out about me writing this, so I may not be doing a smart thing here. Maybe another time I'll talk about his cell phone issues. Anyway, back to me. It's now 4:36, and I just ate about half a stack of saltines, so I should probably go get some delicious dining hall cuisine pretty soon. After that, I have to wash my socks (I have such an exciting life), read about 150 pages of "Families on the Fault Line," write a one-page response comparing it with "Roger and Me," and then write a two-page "conversation" between me and a one of the sources for my 8 page Writing essay. College is hard. You probably knew that, but if you didn't...you do now. My writing seems to really lack...what's the word...skill. My writing really seems to lack skill today. I wish I had something else to write about, but I guess I can just talk about how college is hard. At least Syracuse is. Maybe someplace like IUP or Pitt (did I mention I'm from Pennsylvania) is easier. Oh yeah, one good thing did happen today. My mom sent me a great article from my hometown's newspaper that makes me quite happy. You see, this guy that picked on me from third grade all the way to tenth grade (that's 7 years) just got arrested for drunk driving. He had previously been in drug rehab, I believe, but he actually got arrested this time. Knowing that this a-hole got what he deserved is sweet enough, but what makes it even sweeter is that I told him years ago that he would be in prison someday and I would be laughing at him. I'm sure it won't be long before he's stealing cars and beating up old people. There's a moral to this story, children: Bullies usually turn into criminals. There's no way around it. I'm at one of the best universities in the country, and he's got a criminal record. It's ultimate justice like this that makes me believe there must be a benevolent God out there, as crazy as some may consider that idea. So, in conclusion, this is CD reminding you to drink your school, stay in drugs, and don't do milk. Later.
Okay, this story is just asinine. I'm sick of frigging atheists accusing schools of violating the nonexistent rule mandating separation of church and state because they "force" children to say the words "under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. Since when is this a violation of anything? I think I need to clarify my position on this issue.
As one person is quoted as saying, those two words in the pledge honor our nation's religious heritage, they don't establish a religion. The pledge is what it is. You can't change it just because someone is offended. This kind of thing wouldn't bother me so much if it wasn't always directed at Christians. Even though it just says "under God," which could refer to any monotheistic belief system, every good antitheist knows that those meddling fundamentalists are trying to force traditional Christianity down the throats of our impressionable youth. I mean, give me a break! First the Ten Commandments lawsuit, and now this!
I think the pledge needs to stay the way it is. First of all, nobody is being forced to say "under God." If they don't want to acknowledge God, as ignorant as that is, that's their right. What's more, it's just words. They don't end the pledge with an hour long Bible study session. They say it and then learn how to do long division or something. Now, I can already hear some of the left-wing crowd saying, "Chris, be serious. You conservative fascists are always trying to shut down gay pride events and things like that. Why should you be able to force religion on us?"
I've already explained that, of course. There is no indoctrination or advocacy going on with the Pledge of Allegiance. It's just a few words that people choose to say. In addition, considering all the anti-Christian stuff that's out there, we should be able to keep at least some references to God in our society. Considering the left is all about "tolerance," it amazes me how intolerant they are of any Christian ideals. I can tolerate your stupid events. For example, here at SU, they're celebrating "Coming Out Week," which is devoted to "sexual diversity" and encourages homosexual students to come out of the closet. They're even having a "Big Gay Dance" at the student center on Friday.
Now, that same night, in that same building, I'm going to see Jim Breuer perform some stand-up comedy. Will I go to the gay dance on my way out and start calling them sinners and saying they're going to burn in hell? No, because that would restrict their right to be that way. I personally think homosexuality is wrong and shouldn't be so blatantly encouraged on college campuses, but I'm willing to tolerate it provided I'm not forced to go to any of the events, just as nobody is forced to say "under God."
Of course, if I can give my perspective on gay marriage for a second, this is a different story. That would force people to acknowledge homosexual relationships as legitimate, which would be intolerant of people who believe this practice is wrong. However, there is no law making its way through the states claiming that unless people say, "under God," they will be labeled bigots and theophobes. Why does Christianity get such a bad rap? Why not remove all other religious references in our society? The planets are named after Roman gods! Why weren't atheists offended when people were talking about Mars being close to us last month?
I'll tell you why: because Christianity is seen as their ultimate nemesis, a foe to be vanquished at all costs. Other religions are just seen as part of culture or systems of traditions. No faith has taken as much crap in the last century as Christianity. This is a bit harsh, but I really think that's the way it's going.
A lot of other people are saying this, and I will too: atheism is a religion, albeit a godless one. By removing all references to God, you would be establishing a religion, which is unconstitutional. Okay, that's enough of that. I have to go to band practice. Speaking of band, the SU drumline is going to have a new website pretty soon. I'll probably link to it when it's ready. Until next time, don't let the left hijack religion.
I'm really mad right now. I'm still locked out of my e-mailbox and I don't know why. I tried re-entering my password, but they said it would take up to two hours to complete the operation. That's just sad. Anyway, I thought I'd follow up my Iraq piece with a slightly lighter post. A couple weeks ago, me and the other members of the SU drumline had a party to celebrate the beginning of the football season. During the party, a few people played a very entertaining game of Scattergories. If you don't know, Scattergories is a game where you're given a list of categories and you have to think of a word that fits in each category and starts with a randomly selected letter. Like I said, this was two weeks ago, so I don't remember everything, but I can recall some of the more outlandish or entertaining answers that people used. Here is a list of those:
Letter=P, Category=political/world leaders
Answers= Pol Pot, Phil Hitler ("Hitler's gay brother")
Letter=F, Category=farm animals
Answer=Falcon
Letter=H, Category=birds
Answer=Hairy Falcon
Letter=H, Category=Things you might yell at someone
Answer="Hey, asshole!"
Letter=D, Category=Vegetables
Answer=Delaware corn
Letter =F, Category=Street names
One guy came up with a real street, but some people said to just make one up, and I suggested "Fake Street" and "Fictional Street." I also could've said, "Fraudulent Street," "False Street," or "Fantasy Street."
I can't really remember any more, although I remember an anecdote about another game where the letter was M and the category was college majors. One girl couldn't come up with anything despite the fact that she was a math major. That's kinda funny. I have to go to writing in about 10 minutes, but if I have time later, I'm going to post my thoughts on another Pledge of Allegiance controversy and why it's idiotic and antitheistic. Until then, blog safely, and don't get locked out of your e-mail.
There's a lot of stuff I want to post today, but I have some work to do for my writing class, so I don't have a lot of time. Also, I'm a little angry because I've been locked out of my Syracuse e-mail account by "intruder lockout detection" or something. I have no idea what that means, so I'm hoping it'll reset soon. I want to post my thoughts on an article I just read, and I also have a short list of funny Scattegories answers that I thought some people would enjoy, but I'll only do those things if I have time. For now, I'm posting the lyrics to a song I wrote about the war in Iraq. Before you read them, I'll explain my position. I think the war was the right thing to do. When Dubya (that's what I call President Bush) announced that we were going to war, I wasn't sure what to think. I was kind of on both sides of the issue. On the one hand, I thought George Bush Sr. should've annihilated Hussein when he had the chance 12 years ago, and this seemed like a good way to finish what was begun. On the other hand, I thought this would probably be bad for the economy and put the country at risk. To tell you the truth, I never really gave a flying fokker (another pseudo-swear) about weapons of mass destruction. I knew he had used them once, and I figured that if he wouldn't let weapons inspectors in, he was probably hiding something, but I didn't really care. It wasn't until after the "shock and awe" campaign and the subsequent protests and negative news coverage that I realized how important this war was. Because so many liberals disagreed with it, I immediately assumed that it was probably a good thing, but then I saw "Horrors of Hussein" and "Sons of Saddam" on TV, and I realized just who we were up against. Saddam Hussein is a depraved, murderous, soulless monster, and nobody that evil should be allowed to live on this planet. His sons were almost as bad, and I personally think their deaths were too quick. They should've been buried alive or thrown into a giant meat grinder, or electrocuted to death, or beaten, or some other thing they did to their own people, and if we catch Saddam, we should do something so horrible to him that I won't even describe it here. Now that I think about it, I just watched the movie "Roger and Me" by Michael Moore (don't even get me started on that socialist loony), and it has a scene where a woman clubs a rabbit over the head, hangs it upside down from a tree, and proceeds to skin and gut it. We should do something like that to Hussein and keep his mustache as a trophy. However, we are Americans, and we deal with criminals in a humane way, so just shooting him in the face would accomplish that goal well enough. I'm pretty sure he'll suffer plenty where he's going. Anyway, I now support the war because no innocent human being deserves to be treated the way the Hussein regime treated the Iraqi people. It disgusts me to think that they actually had to live like that. What's worse, we've got morons like Sean Penn saying that Bush is worse than Hussein and America is a dictatorship. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: If America was like prewar Iraq, Sean Penn would be dead by now, because that's what it means to silence dissent! Having someone disagree with you is not the same as being killed because you spoke out against the government! Anyway, now that I've fulfilled the rant quota, here is the song I wrote to better explain my feelings on the subject. It's written in second person to anti-war pacifist lefties. Enjoy.
"Justified"
I keep hearing you say that we did something wrong
We interfered in a place where we didn't belong
And every time a new day arrives
We find we've lost a few more precious lives
But you forget about the ones they're fighting for
The weak, the sick, the hungry, the persecuted and the poor
Maybe you should imagine yourself in their place
Before you stir up controversy just to win a freaking race
(chorus)
It may not be going exactly as we planned
Good people are leaving home and losing their lives in a distant land
But just because a few of our nation's bravest are dead and gone
You can't claim that we've failed and have no right to carry on
Did you even see the things these people were forced to go through?
'Cause by the way you're acting, I'd assume you never knew
Psychotic, despotic, bloodthirsty, and worse he
Killed the innocent without blinking, so what are you thinking?
(chorus)
Think of their situation and put yourself in it
Just picture a world where you could die any minute
Where dictators build palaces and drive fancy cars
While you and your family lie out in the street and starve
You must be realistic, these people were sadistic
Just thinking about it's enough to make you feel sick
If you think the world was better when they were still around
Try digging your loved ones out of a hole in the ground
(chorus)
CHORUS:
How would you like it if your freedom was taken away?
Could you live in a place where you could disappear because of what you say?
You still have the right to disagree because of the people who died
But before you start to complain, just remember it's justified
So, what do you think? I've written 9 or 10 other songs, but this is the only one about the war, so I'm just posting it. The other ones are confidential. I don't want people stealing my lyrics before I get a chance to use them in a real band. Who says drummers can't be songwriters (actually, very few people say that, but they probably think it)? This would be a rock song, so other names for it include:
-Republican rock
-GOP grunge
-Conservative crunch
I really have to do some work now, so it's time for me to stop. Hopefully, I'll have time to post the other 2 things I have in mind, but I have 2 tests tomorrow, so that's probably not gonna happen. We'll see. Vote W in '04 (I know I will).
In my "Links" post, I mentioned that I submitted a satirical piece I wrote to Swordandspirit.com a few months ago. For people who want to read it, I thought I'd link to it here (link is at the bottom of the post) rather than making you track it down. It's called "Proof of the Punch," and it deals with the strange logical tricks that certain anti-Christian types like to use on gullible people. If you don't care about religious issues, you probably should just ignore it. There is an added bonus, however; if you follow this link, you can find out my full name! The suspense must be killing you! In any case, check it out if it sounds interesting. As this blog shows, I do some writing in my spare time, and I'm actually studying to be a screenwriter/director, so me need be good with wordses...oops, that didn't come out right. Maybe tomorrow I'll post the lyrics to a pro-war song I wrote called "Justified." I was going to wait until I have a rock band to use it, but I think it'll be outdated by then. You'll have to check back and see (as if you're reading this the day I posted if). Hey, it's raining. That's great. I thought those big dark clouds meant something. I'm going to stop typing....now....at the end of this sentence....that I'm writing...at....this....exact....precise....specific...moment...in....time....period.
I have a couple real quick notes to post here. First of all, the links I listed yesterday are now available at the top of the page for easier linkage, so you don't have to track down that one post. Also, there is a link at the bottom of the list where you can e-mail me. I have no way to put up a comments section or find out if people are visiting my site, so the only way I'll know you're reading this is if you tell me. I realize I've only been a blogger for 4 days, and I'm not expecting any readers for at least a month or two, but I'd appreciate it if you let me know when you view my site, since I have no way of knowing how many people, if any, are using it. I don't know if I'll post anything else today. I've got a floor meeting to go to in half an hour, so maybe something funny will happen there that I can write about. Last week, they tried to have a meeting while a bunch of people were watching the Giants game (it had gone into overtime by this point), and the meeting ended up only being about 8 seconds long. We'll see what happens.
I'm back once again with a new feature for SIT. I've listened to Nickelback's new CD a couple times, and I think I'm ready to give my personal opinion. Even though this is just a blog, it seems to be a good place for a music review, so I'll switch into "critic" mode at this point. Enjoy. (Warning: Review references song titles which may be offensive to some readers)
If you're listening to "The Long Road" and you hear a faint sucking sound in the background, that's Nickelback's other records in comparison to this one. I'm not saying the others aren't good, but the new one frickin' rocks! NB has finally decided to put a little more power behind their music, and the result sounds a lot like Theory of a Deadman meets Hoobastank.
The musical quality of this CD is my favorite part, if you haven't figured it out yet. There's a lot more heavy stuff on here than on "Silver Side Up." The 2 minute long opener, "Flat on the Floor," sets the tone for the rest of the CD by taking listeners back to NB's "Curb" days with an almost punk tempo and crunchy guitar work by Chad Kroeger and Ryan Peake. Other heavy selections include "Because of You," "Another Hole in the Head," a cover of Elton John's "Saturday Night's Alright (for Fighting)," and "Yanking Out My...(I'm assuming the word "heart" would follow this ellipsis)."
Of course, it wouldn't be Nickelback without a couple of power ballads to satisfy fans of "How You Remind Me," and they pull this off with songs like "Do this Anymore," "Someday," and "Feelin' Way too Damn Good." I'm pretty sure the latter uses the same guitar riff as Denis Leary's "Asshole," but it sounds better here than when a drunken comedian is yodeling over it.
In addition to the heavier guitars, Ryan Vikedal gives his drums a serious workout this time around. He even breaks out a double bass near the end of "Flat on the Floor." Being a drummer myself, I always look for good music that I can "air drum" to (which looks really stupid but is still fun), and many of these songs provide that opportunity, especially "Yanking Out My..." Despite the boost in guitar sound, the songs don't lose the melodic quality that makes NB stand out among many other bands. They still manage to pull off some good guitar solos, and each song has its own personality.
The lyrics on this CD are in a slightly different style than before, although Chad still seems too concerned about relationships. On songs like "Feelin' Way too Damn Good," "Figured You Out," and "Learn the Hard Way," you find out a little more about the singer's sex life than you really want to know, although it seems like a couple of these are meant to be sarcastic and/or ironic. Also, Kroeger made the smart decision of not writing any songs about marijuana like he did on "The State," so drug-free dudes like myself can still enjoy most of it with the exceptions being the stuff I mentioned above.
Chad seems to have avoided the traps of "pop" style lyrics overall, although "Believe it or Not" tries a little too hard to connect with people. A song with an interesting social message is "Throw Yourself Away," which is about the moderately publicized incident in which a girl delivered a baby in the bathroom at her high school prom and threw it in the trash.
In my opinion, this CD is a great follow-up to "Silver Side Up," and it seems like Nickelback has finally found a way to combine the grunge influences of "Curb" and the pop influences of SSU without getting trapped in the middle like they did on "The State (I really don't like that CD)." I'd recommend this to people who enjoyed songs like "Too Bad" and "Just For" on the last CD. If you're looking for more twangy, acoustic style stuff, you may want to look elsewhere. "Should've Listened" and "Someday" may satisfy you, but this CD is more of a hard rocker than anything else.
So, do you want to go out and buy it now? Do ya? Come on, you know you want to! Wait, I don't care if you buy it. Never mind. I think that's all I'm going to post for the time being. I've got some work to do later. As soon as I come up with some more interesting content, I'll blogify it and make it available for the one person who will ever read this besides me. I know you're out there somewhere...somewhere...where...where......that was an echo, in case you couldn't tell. Bye for now.
Cool title, isn't it? I decided to end today with another list rather than just leaving you hanging with boring stories about what it's like playing bass drum in a college marching band. This list will be kind of short, but its content is essential to my life. You need to know this: I don't swear when I talk. Never have, never will (I occasionally write profanity, but it's not to be taken seriously). Therefore, I have to use alternative language and pseudo-swearing to get by when I need some speech enhancement. This is a list of a few of my favorite non-profane words and phrases. Enjoy!
-Fudge
-Dang
-Crap (this is one of my favorite words, since it can mean so many things)
-Holy flurking schnit
-Frickin'/friggin'
-F-ing/F-in'
-What the "H?"
-Mothertrucker
-Son of a batch of cookies
-Son of a biscuit
-Son of a ditch
-Son of a vondrook (taken from SNL)
-Buck futter (also taken from SNL)
-Crudpuppies (don't ask, I don't remember how I came up with it either)
-Consarn it
-Fork you
-A-hole
-Arse
-What the hello there, sir. How are you today? Nice weather, isn't it? (okay, I made that one up just now)
I think that's enough. I'm still a Christian, by the way. I just like to have a bit of attitude, and this is a way to be a bad...arse. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Okay, that was stupid, but I do like these words. I don't use some of them very often, but they do come in handy sometimes. Feel free to try any of them in different situations. Since you can say just about anything on TV these days, we need some less common words to start popping up. Spread the word(s)!
I will post again tomorrow, and hopefully I'll be more focused. By the way, remember that old Discovery Channel commercial with the meteors that said "AAAAAHHHH! The atmosphere! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!?" Well, I'm starting a new one: "AAAAAHHHH! The blogosphere! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!" I think I'll stop now.
I just got back from visiting my parents and my brother at the Sheraton on campus. It's the first time we've seen each other in a month, and what do we do? We sit there and watch Saturday Night Live: The Best of Chris Kattan. That's a great way to bond as a family. Anyway, the football game was good. Syracuse destroyed Toledo and their funny looking astronaut mascot, and the rain held off long enough for the pep rally to go on as usual. The only difference was that we had to have it twice as far from the Carrier Dome as usual because of some Rosh-Hashannah (I have no idea if this is spelled right) service at the chapel. If you know what I'm talking about, you've probably been here. If you don't, visit SU's website from my links post and check it out. I got the new Nickelback CD, and I'll review it at some point in the next couple days. It should be good. In less pleasant news, I just realized that I have a plate with cheese and stuff on it from my Hot Pockets (which were breathtaking, by the way) and there's no dishwasher in my dorm. This could be a problem. Maybe I can put it in the bathroom sink...no, wait, there's toothpaste and facial hair in there...this could be a serious problem. I don't really know what else to write, so I should probably just stop now. Eventually, I'll have some essays and stuff on here, along with more journal entries and commentary on current events. Keep in mind, however, that I am a college freshman, and any time I spend blogging is probably time I'm supposed to be studying. I have to read 200 pages of "Families on the Fault Line" for my sociology class, so I might want to do that tomorrow instead of being an amateur rock critic. Yeah, I'm out of ideas. I think I'll just leave this until tomorrow, since nobody reads it anyway. I did submit the site to Google earlier today, so maybe someone will stumble across it. Until next time, continue to surf wisely, and don't listen to any sentence containing the word "liberal" unless it also contains an insult. Later.
Okay, before I start, if you see the same post 4 or 5 times on the page, it's because Blogger sucks at publishing the right things. I'm only using it because I don't know how to use "real" weblog programs. Anyway, I have some short stories to share about my life that you probably don't really care about, but I'm going to tell them anyway. I had to go shopping in the store below my dorm so I would have something to eat before going to the football game (the game starts at 6:35, but the drumline has to be there REALLY early), and when I left my room this guy whose name I forget yelled, "There's Chris, the coolest kid on the floor!" He had already done this once before, but there were a couple other people with him this time. I asked him when I got a fan club, and he said, "about three seconds ago." That was just weird. I don't know what to think. Anyway, I went to the store and was browsing for things that I could eat quickly, and I realized that they don't sell bread. What's up with that? How can you have a store with no bread? It's at the bottom of the food guide pyramid, meaning that it's an essential part of a balanced diet! If you don't have bread, you can't make sandwiches or toast or anything. I ended up buying a box of saltines, six bottles of Aquafina, and a box of ham and cheese Hot Pockets. That's good eatin'. College life is so frickin' luxurious. On that note, it's time for me to go. I was going to end with a list of funny quotes from "The Simpsons" and "Family Guy," but I decided that would require work, so I'll just use a couple.
"Holy crip, he's a crapple!"
-"Ice Creamville!"- -"No, Screamville."-"AAAHH!!!"-
-"There's a message in my Alphabits! It says, "oooooooooo!"- "Peter, those are Cheerios."
I told you I was impatient, didn't I? I've decided to just post all the significant stuff from my book now. I'll be adding plenty more content to the blog as time goes on, and I want to give readers an introduction to some of my opinions and my writing style. The BOSIT stuff didn't use up much space on the page, so I'm going to finish what I started. Here is the remainder of content from CD's Book of Semi-Intelligent Thoughts (warning: these are slightly more opinionated, and they reveal that I am, in fact, a Bible-thumping, gun-toting, homophobic, anti-choice right-wing nut. Also, I overuse the word "people."):
-Why do people say things like "everybody does it" to convince people to take a certain action? If one person has to be convinced, then everybody doesn't do it yet.
-Saying people are animals is an insult to the animal community. (this is followed in the book by a chart illustrating human evolution and de-evolution (devolution?) from monkey, to neandertal, to Bill Clinton, to modern man, all the way to extinction. By the way, I actually don't believe in evolution, but it was fun to draw the chart.)
-If America was a dictatorship, Sean Penn would be dead by now.
-Everyone has heard that you can't judge a book by its cover, but they occasionally make the mistake of judging a tree by its roots.
-Liberals always think they're right, but they'll usually end up back on the left.
-By 1950's standards, the majority of rap videos would be considered pornographic.
-No TV character has a Pittsburgh accent.
-When did we start calling our enemies by their first names? "Where is Saddam? Where is Osama?" Nobody ever said, "Benito is dead, but Adolf is still in hiding."
-Not everybody who thinks homosexuality is wrong is a redneck!
-It's amazing how people who call themselves "open-minded" and "free-thinker" are always so biased.
-TV networks should have signature "bleeps."
-Someday, the censoring devices on TV will be sponsored. A character's car will break down, and he'll say something like, "this stupid motherFORDer! I hate this piece of shTARBUCKS!" Also, nudity will be covered by Pepsi logos instead of pixellation.
-Why is it that going to Iraq and taking a murderous dictator and his psychotic rapist sons out of power is wrong in the eyes of the left, but dissecting a baby alive is perfectly acceptable?
-Why do they advertise exercise machines at 4:00 in the morning? If you're watching TV at that time, you probably don't work out very often.
-Stop inventing words for rap songs! Herre and thurr...it's like the old Batman show. Pow! Biff! Zam! Zoink! Bort! Fronzle! Kachoonga!
-The next time I hear a song with the words "waiting by the phone" in it, I will break something.
-"Blog" is a funny word. It's like the channel WE (Women's Entertainment) sued the word "weblog" for taking their name and the weblogs lost.
-Even if we eventually have a society where you can order everything online so you never have to leave the house, somebody will still have to deliver it to you.
-Do any states other than New York and Pennsylvania refer to themselves by their postal abbreviations (NY and PA)?
-What are the odds that a man named Willie Brown will be elected mayor of San Francisco? His name is WILLIE BROWN, and he's mayor of SAN FRANCISCO!!!!! (if you don't get this one, either think about it longer, or juxtapose the words "Willie Brown.")
-Has anyone ever actually bought anything from a telemarketer?
-Dumbocrats. Good word.
-If you're lost, and someone offers you directions, and you refuse to listen, and then you end up dying in the woods, it's your own fault, not the person giving you directions.
-If everyone agrees with you, you're probably wrong (Oscar Wilde said something similar, but I didn't find out until after I wrote this).
-Drumming isn't a skill; it's an addiction.
-The world is a drum.
-Why do people with annoying voices insist on talking so much?
-The fact that people are allowed to criticize America is also the best reason people shouldn't criticize America.
-Next time someone says Jesus didn't exist, ask them what year it is.
-It's not my fault I'm homophobic. I was just born this way.
-If a woman is dumb enough to get pregnant when she's not ready (except for rape cases, of course), then why is it assumed she can make responsible "choices?"
-We'd probably have less illegal immigration if we treated illegal immigrants like criminals instead of treating them like puppies that have gotten lost.
-At this point in the book, there is a cartoon I drew that I feel I should describe (I can't post images with the free version of Blogger, so get your mental visualizing skills ready). It is a one panel cartoon split into two sides. On one side, there is a guy wearing a hat that says "Dean '04," a button that says "Buck Fush," and a shirt with the American flag and one of those "no" lines across it (like "no smoking") and the words "vive le France" written across the bottom. He is angrily looking at the reader and saying, "The war in Iraq is a war against Islam! Why can't you leave other cultures alone, you racist bigots?!" On the other side, the same guy is shaking his fist at a Ten Commandments monument and saying, "Don't force your religious beliefs on me, you fundamentalist bigots!" Below the panel is a caption that reads, "Classic examples of liberal tolerance." This just shows how inconsistent certain members of the left can be.
-It's easy to identify a Monty Python poser. If you say you like Monty Python, and the other person says something like, "I love that movie," they're probably not a real big fan.
-Contrary to what some may say, people today tend to believe in religion, but not God. Religion of any kind is seen as a shot of spiritual adrenalin and a feel-good blues remedy, while God is seen as an old-fashioned intolerant bigot who doesn't want people to enjoy their lives. Example: "God answers prayers and sends people to Heaven when they die? That's great! He must...wait, he'll send me to hell if I don't believe that his son died for me? What a jerk! I'm gonna convert to Buddhism!"
-Homosexuals used to want people out of their bedrooms. These days, it seems they want to give people a free tour with souvenirs.
-Canadian liberals are crazier than American liberals.
-Assuming that someone is a racist because they're white makes you a racist.
-"Diversity" is a code word for liberal racism.
Wow, my longest post yet. Hopefully, I have now offended everyone with even a tiny bit of left-leaning ideology. Once again, these views are MINE! Not yours, MINE! I hope you agree with some of them, but since popular people tend to be wrong, I hope you also disagree with a few. I just thought it was kind of pointless having all this stuff sitting in a book with nobody reading it. I was actually planning on making it into a real book someday, but this is a lot easier. As I write more entries, I will post them on the blog. I will also continue posting journal entries, reviews, and various essays and rants. I will probably also select certain BOSIT entries and write essays about what they mean, etc. I will once again remind you that reading my blog is not the best way to use your free time, so please don't get carried away. I'm actually supposed to be reading a book for my sociology class right now, so I'm not even doing this in MY free time. Keep checking back, and don't let the lefties brainwash you.
I will now post some entries from the BOSIT. I will be posting these periodically as time goes on, with explanations for some of them (these will probably come later). I have been writing in this book since 2001, although most of the entries are from the past 6 months. I will not be including the original date of the entries because any outdated ones will not be included. I will probably post these about 10 or 15 at a time until I've gone through the book. Again, if you disagree with anything, that's your right, but please don't send me hate mail (if you send hate mail to a pathetic site like this, you probably have an inferiority complex) or take anything really seriously. These are just my views on life, and some actually don't really give a perspective, they're just observations. In addition, this is not the complete BOSIT. I'm ommitting anything that's incredibly stupid, and there are a lot of pointless entries that don't need to be here. Any posted entry is one I thought was worthy of reading. And now, without further ado, here is the first series of semi-intelligent thougths:
-If people didn't exist, there would be no characters.
-If you let a smile be your umbrella, it'll eventually get struck by lightning.
-Suicide isn't always immediate or intentional.
-Radio commercials are the worst kind of advertising. If I have to listen to people with annoying voices trying to sell me things I don't need, I at least want to know what they look like so I can punch them in the face if I ever see them.
-If it's wrong to give Ritalin to people with mental disorders, then it must also be wrong to give wheelchairs to people with physical disorders.
-If affirmative action is supposed to make up for mistreatment of past generations, then I want my payment for persecution of Protestants during the Reformation. I want my Reformation reparations! Pay up, John Paul!
-The only way a movie could be "the one you can't afford to miss" is if there's a fine for not seeing it.
-The best souvenirs in life are free.
-If a loving God has to let people get away with everything and let all people into Heaven, then the best parents must be the ones who let their kids take the car out on weekends and go to bars and strip clubs with a fake ID, and then don't ask questions the next morning.
That was actually a pretty good sampling of entries all the way up to last May. I wrote a ton of entries over the summer, so I'll be posting those later. In fact, I'll probably just post them today, since I'm kind of an impatient guy. I just don't want to be out of material on my third day as a blogger. Again, there are a lot of entries in between that I didn't need to include, such as "Dave Grohl looks like a horse," "there is no spoon," and "there is a spoon (written on April fool's day)." Keep checking for more, and be ready for my first CD review. Later.
Today has been an interesting day so far. Band practice started at 9:00, and I woke up at...drum roll please...8:56! I had to run as fast as humanly possible down the stairs (I live at the top of a huge frickin' hill), but I managed to get there by 9:15 before they actually started playing. I'm a little annoyed right now because it looks like our pregame pep rally is going to get rained out today, and my parents are coming, so they probably won't get to see it. Okay, now that I've wasted a couple minutes of your time, here is the next official post to SIT. I'm posting links here to some of the websites I visit on a regular basis or highly recommend. I may add more in the future, so keep checking back. Here we go:
Right Wing News The website of John Hawkins, one of the best conservative bloggers on the net. I strongly disagree with his view that dogs are better than cats, but most of his other stuff is great. Be sure to check out the links on this page.
Newsmax If you want to keep up with current events, but you don't want a bunch of left wing lunatics telling you that America sucks, check out this page. The editorial archive is huge, and they have transcripts from late-night talk show monologues.
Evidence for God from Science Do you think Christianity is anti-intellectual? You may be surprised by what Richard Deem has to say about it. This site provides a very strong case for Biblical Christianity. I would probably be an agnostic if I hadn't found it!
Sword and Spirit Another Christian apologetics site, this one has some tracts and things you can read if you still aren't convinced that Christianity rules. Be sure to go to their humor section and track down "Proof of the Punch," a satirical piece I submitted to them a few months ago (I also wrote it, by the way). They have some good links as well.
Reasons to Believe The website of Hugh Ross, a Christian astrophysicist who inspired the two sites listed above. This page has tons of information on intelligent design, evolution, and why the universe really is 15 billion years old.
Stand to Reason Another great Christian apologetics site (did I mention I'm a Christian? I may have forgotten to mention that). Greg Koukl answers questions and gives commentaries about theology, philosophy, ethics, social issues, and much more. Don't forget to download the radio shows.
Syracuse University Check out all the information on my college of choice and see why SU is the best university in America.
Creed's official website Although they've had some problems lately, Creed is one of the best rock bands around today, and they're my personal favorite. There's nothing new on the site, but you should still check it out.
Nickelback's official website Another great post-grunge band, Nickelback has a brand new CD (which I will be reviewing soon), and their website has a lot of good stuff.
The official website of 3 Doors Down Yet another awesome band, 3DD is on tour right now, but their site is pretty good.
The official website of Trust Company Trust Company is a very good band that everyone should hear. I've had the song "Downfall" stuck in my head for the past month, and I'm still not tired of it. Their drummer is pretty good, too. Plus, they're recording a new album right now. I'm looking forward to that.
That's all I'll post for right now. I may add more in the future, but those are the really important ones. For the rest of the weekend, I'll be posting stuff from my book of semi-intelligent thoughts, and I'll review Nickelback's new CD as soon as I've heard it a couple times. Surf wisely.
Tomorrow, I will post links to some of my favorite sites if I can figure out how to do that. Just thought I should let you know. Also, I'm getting Nickelback's new CD, "The Long Road" from my parents when they come to the football game, so I'll post a review by the end of the weekend, even though NB will be older than the Rolling Stones by the time anyone reads this. I should go to sleep now. Remember, it's not good to live in a dumpster, children.
This is the first post from my book of semi-intelligent thoughts. It's a list of grammatical errors people make, and why they're annoying. By the way, if you look at this list and think to yourself, "hey, what's wrong with those?" then please retake your elementary school English class. Here goes nothing:
-Where it's at, etc.
-Reesees peesees
-expecially/excape
-Antartica
-anyways
-eye-ther
-off-ten
-so DO I/so DID I/so AM I, etc. (caps=emphasis in pronunciation)
-nucular
-"everyday" used where "every day" should be
-confrontate (thanks, Jack Osbourne)
-mischievious
-"can I axe you a question?"
-using "itch" instead of "scratch" ex. "I can't stop itching these bugbites!"
-heighth
-saying "minus" instead of "subtract"
-excetera
-expresso
-drownd
-'nother is not a real word
-besides the point
-would of/could of/should of
-"verse" instead of "versus"
-confusing "their" and "they're"
-using "and" instead of "an" (and vice versa)
-visa versa
-apostrophes do not make words plural!!!!!
There. That should do it. I actually came up with a couple of those as I was writing, so it's not the exact same list that's in my book, but you get the idea. I have to get up at 8:15 tomorrow for marching band practice, so I really shouldn't still be up now. Tomorrow, I'll post some more stuff from my book and possibly a journal entry or two (I'll be putting those on here too; I said there was no point, right?) Keep checking back for updates. Go Orange!
Okay, that purple monkey dishwasher crap was retarded, but since nobody reads this, who cares? Anyway, I thought I'd provide a more thorough explanation of this page in case somebody goes searching the far corners of the Internet in 10 years and wants to know what it's all about. Once again, if you're actually reading this, something is probably wrong with you. The first step to solving any problem is admitting you have a problem. I'm off topic, so I'll now utilize the ancient Scandinavian mind control technique of beginning a new paragraph.
Well, apparently when you write a post with Blogger, you can't start a new paragraph with the tab key because it moves you to the next field. That's frickin' stupid. Seriously. Now that that's taken care of, back to the post. This blog exists because I wanted a blog. I said that before, but it's the real reason. I've been reading a lot of them lately, and I decided it would be cool to have my own. As for the specific purpose, I've explained that there's no real point, but there is sort of a guiding force behind it, which I will now explain in terms you can understand...unless you're illiterate...in which case...you couldn't tell if I called you...AN ILLITERATE FOOL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Once again, I'm off topic. Did I mention I have ADD? That's why I'm off topic so much. I guess I could just delete the extra stuff, but I think it's entertaining. It's called stream of consciousness writing. I'm really going to explain the blog in this paragraph! Don't leave yet! Hey, I said don't leave, you ungrateful ingrate!!!! There, was that so hard? Now, the blog is called "Semi-Intelligent Thoughts" for a reason. I have a book that I write in occasionally, which I call my "book of semi-intelligent thoughts," and it contains random philosophical ramblings, rants on various topics, and a few cartoons and things that I drew in my spare time. I decided to name my blog after the book and turn it into an extension of the book on the web. I will soon be posting several of the quotes from my BOSIT (that's another acronym, but it doesn't spell a real word) with explanations and such. Other things will come in the future. I'll start off by posting a list I've compiled of grammatical mistakes people make way too often, and I'll go from there. Again, if anyone is actually reading this, I really hope you could be doing something more productive, but thanks for reading it anyway. Also, I just previewed my post, and it didn't contain my paragraph breaks, so I'm going to remove them now.
In Spanish, the phrase "purple monkey dishwasher" becomes "mono morado lavaplatos." Just thought you'd like to know.
This is the first official post to Semi-Intelligent Thoughts, or SIT (that's called an acronym). I am aware that I am the only person who will read this page, but who knows, maybe I'll get a couple of other people one of these years. If you are reading this and you are not me, then you should ask yourself how you ended up on such a pointless page, retrace the steps in your life that brought you to this point, and promptly remedy the situation, preferably with lots of expensive therapy. If you actually want to read the posts, you should know that this page has absolutely no point. It will simply contain random thoughts that I come up with in my free time (which isn't really free, since I'm a college freshman) and various other useless bits of information. Why am I doing this, you ask? Because I can. What other reason do I need? I wanted a blog, I got a blog, everybody's happy. Especially me. Also keep in mind that I am not doing this for anyone except myself, so if you are actually reading this, don't take it too seriously. If you disagree with any opinions I post, that's your right. If you agree with me, as unlikely as that is, then that's also fine. I have no intention of becoming a famous blogger or attracting a significant number of readers. I'm not even making the page public until I get more posts...posted. So, in conclusion, this is mine, not yours, mine, and I'm mostly making it for my own amusement. There is no theme to the page, although it will eventually include random commentaries and other ramblings and rants that have spewed from my strange mind. Finally, if you really do care, here is some information about me.
-NAME: Chris
-AGE: 18
-HOMETOWN: Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
-OCCUPATION: Freshman at Syracuse University, TV/Radio/Film major
-HOBBIES: Making pointless blogs like this, playing drums (bass drummer in the SUMB, hoping to start a rock band at some point), writing, songwriting, videography, procrastination
-RELIGION: Protestant Christian
-POLITICAL VIEWS: Conservative Republican, and don't you forget it!
-FAVORITE BANDS: Creed, 3 Doors Down, Nickelback, Trust Company, Staind, Hoobastank, Theory of a Deadman, Default, 12 Stones, Matchbox Twenty
-FAVORITE SPORT: Hockey
-FAVORITE TV SHOW: The Simpsons
-FAVORITE MOVIE: Gettysburg
-FAVORITE MONTY PYTHON SKETCH: Argument Clinic
-FAVORITE COLORS: Orange and green (hence the color scheme of the site)
There. You know some things about me. Keep checking for more stuff. This post will self-destruct in 9 seconds. Have a nice day.