You know what I absolutely friggin' love about this time of year? The tours. At a large, prestigious university like Syracuse, there are people touring the campus just about every day in the spring. And I think it's frickin' great.
Because, let's be honest, few things in this life can match the experience of having a bunch of high school seniors and their parents stare at you as if you're some kind of zoo exhibit. And I really enjoy going down to the dining hall for lunch to find a sea of gawking humanity blocking the entrance. It's even better when the genius tour guide decides to let them eat there instead of in the student center like they're supposed to.
I hope you've detected the sarcasm by now.
Anyway, I really just want to mess with these tours. Remember that "Scared Straight" program they used to show on MTV, where they would take juvenile delinquents into a prison and have the inmates swear at them until they promised to be good? It would be fun to randomly pull that stuff on unsuspecting tourists:
"So, you want to go to SU, do ya? Well, you'd better watch yo'self, foo'! As soon as your parents leave, you belong to me...bitch!"
Seriously, wouldn't that be the most hilarious thing ever? I think so.
(NOTE: Yes, I did tour this school myself before I decided to apply, but I went during the summer like normal people.)
Do you ever get the feeling that the universe is plotting against you? Because I've got that feeling right now.
I was just checkin' my Gmail (by the way, I have 50 invites, if anyone's interested), and I noticed an e-mail with the subject line, "HELP UNICEF PLEASE." I opened it (I have a Mac, so viruses don't worry me) to find the following text:
NEVER SEND SPAM. IT IS BAD.
That's all it says. No attachments, no links, nothing. Just those two sentences.
...
So, Terri Schiavo is as good as dead at this point. Are you happy now, "right to die" assholes? You managed to sentence an innocent woman to slow starvation. Congratufuckinglations.
I want to talk about another aspect of this travesty today. Apparently, the Schiavo case has caused some sort of divide between the "religious right" and...well, pretty much everyone else.
I'm calling shenanigans.
This is what we call a self-fulfilling prophecy, ladies and gentlemen. The media decided that they could use this as an opportunity to try and cause a split in the Republican Party, and certain people (I won't name anyone, but they know who they are, and they probably aren't reading this) took the bait.
The media would have us believe that the people who wanted Terri kept alive were simply doing it for religious reasons, and that many of them just wanted to use her as a pawn in their eeeeeevil plan to take away women's right to murder their unborn children. I'm now seeing the old "theocracy" meme from people on both sides.
Bullshit.
Since when does a movement to keep a brain-damaged woman alive signal a push for a Christian dictatorship? Why are people who want Congress to intervene accused of also wanting the "American Taliban" to take over? This is Maureen Dowd territory, but Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, and many others seem to have fallen for it.
Look, very few people want a Christian theocracy in this country. Those who do have little to no influence, and I don't even think they have a voice. Furthermore, supporting Terri Schiavo's right to live doesn't automatically make someone a Bible-thumping fundamentalist who would support a Falwell/Robertson ticket in 2008. There are plenty of non-Christians, including atheists, who didn't want the feeding tube removed. It had nothing to do with religion.
For me, at least, it was never a religious issue. It was an issue of letting an innocent human being starve to death for the horrible crime of not being able to speak for herself. There was no record of her wishes, but for some reason, this country chose the irreversible option. Do you fucking self-righteous pricks understand that? She's going to die. That's it. You don't come back from that. If you let her live, there's always a chance that something can change. But once she's dead...game over. It makes no sense whatsoever, and that's why it doesn't surprise me.
But in any case, that's the fucking issue. Not religion. Not abortion. Not "theocracy."
It's about LIFE. Period.
When will people learn not to trust the media? I'm guessing about a week from next never.
UPDATE
More thoughts on this issue over at Right Wing News.
You should all know by now that when I say "I'm probably not going to blog this week," it really means "I'm going to blog, but it's not going to be interesting." Anyway...
I'm sure many of you avid blog readers out there have seen that Frank J. and SarahK are engaged. I saw this coming, but I didn't expect it to happen so fast. And on that note, I'm afraid I have to offer my own brief commentary on the event. I'll put it in the extended entry for all you idealists out there.
Anyway, I don't think it'll last. Honestly, how long have they been together? Six, seven months? That's not enough time. I know enough about human psychology to realize that they're still in the "honeymoon" phase of their relationship. Eventually, the spark is going to go away, and they'll have to come to grips with all the little flaws and idiosyncrasies they never noticed before.
You may think I'm just bitter because I'm 20 years old and have yet to get a girlfriend, but I'm friggin' serious. It takes more than six months to decide whether you want to spend your life with someone. They may be "The Blogosphere's Cutest Couple" now, but by this time next year...I really don't know.
I give 'em four months. Maybe eight. If I'm wrong, more power to them...but I really don't think it's going to last.
Now that I've pissed in everyone's Corn Flakes, I'll understand if you think less of me...but life is hard.
I'm probably not going to blog at all this week. I am now officially buried in work due to my almost superhuman ability to procrastinate, so...yeah. We've been through this before.
However, I did write a couple new political songs over the weekend (it's amazing how creative one can be when one is supposed to be memorizing facts), and I will now share them in the extended entry. Enjoy.
THIS IS WHAT HYPOCRISY LOOKS LIKE
Are you becoming what you hate
Or is it what you've always been
You blame me for problems you think I create
But you're ignoring your own sins
You tell me your side stands for peace
And unconditional tolerance
But now the anger's been released
And the blood of your hatred is on your hands
(Chorus)
You laugh at all the little sheep
In line behind their blind shepherds
While you admire the so-called elite
Within your own disgruntled herd
You look down on the close-minded fools
Who fear all things ambiguous
They're all the same, according to the rules
Of your unequaled viciousness
(Chorus)
You don't even see people
When you look across the line
It's no wonder you can't keep all
Of this rage held deep inside
(Chorus)
CHORUS:
And now you've shown me your true face
You try to put me in my place
But this is where you belong
It's been your home all along
You cannot hide your bigotry
It's there for everyone to see
You've held onto hypocrisy
And become the minority
MAYBE
Maybe you didn't yell loud enough
Maybe you made it too complicated
Maybe you need to start getting tough
So you won't be eliminated
(Chorus)
Maybe nobody was on your side
Maybe it was all a plot
Maybe it's because the other guy lied
And the masses were dumber than you thought
(Chorus)
Maybe you just need to stop the delusion
Maybe you need to rethink your conclusions
Maybe you're wrong and the people are right
Maybe you brought a knife to this gunfight
(Background audio sample of various commentators trying to explain why people don't vote for Democrats)
(Chorus)
CHORUS:
You say your message can't get out
But we can hear it loud and clear
You never stop to think about
The messages we want to hear
Your ideas are old, they've all been tried
But you're still living in the past
And yet you go on wondering why
You always seem to come in last
- After giving it way too much thought, I believe I've figured out the secret of Dave Chappelle's comedy. It's so simple, it's brilliant!
Phase 1: Take a regular character or situation and add a "black" element somehow.
Phase 2: Take any phrase and add the word "bitch."
Phase 3: Profit! (A.K.A. "I'm rich, biatch!")
The secret's out, Chappelle. The secret's out.
- I want to start a band called "Tear" (as in rip) and release an album called "Tear" (as in the water that comes from your eyes). Then, when people see it in stores, they'll think it's self-titled, but they'll be DEAD WRONG!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Or...I could call the band "Tier" so people would be confused when they heard about it.
Isn't the English language fun?
(OT: You're all aware that I posted the Grand Theory of Leftism, right? I wasn't sure if you knew that)
Quote from Rachel Lucas:
Humanity is seriously fucked up. That's all there is to it. Seriously, hopelessly, unforgivably fucked up.
Yes, yes it is.
You know, I've got the entire plot for the next Bob and Joe adventure pretty much planned out, along with tons of jokes and character interactions. But I can't actually write it yet, because I have to study for and take a huge test on business models and Nielsen ratings and boring crap like that, then type up a 3 page paper on cemeteries based on field research, then read about 800 pages of stuff that will take me the next few days to get through, then present a branding plan for Comedy Central, then take another test on weather and ecosystems, then read a 300 page book on underwater archaeology and write a paper on it, then write a history paper, then do a bunch of other useless liberal arts crap for about a month.
Way to stifle my creativity, Syracuse. I'm sure this will really help my screenwriting career take off.
Douchebags.
UPDATE
Check out an example of the kind of thing I'll have to deal with on this useless test:
Rules on multiple ownership of broadcasting stations specify that ownership of radio stations in a local market is dependent on market size while the duopoly rule pertains to station ranking and coverage. National TV ownership is limited to no more than 35% of TV homes in the country. Discuss why, in the era of deregulation, these rules still stand. Do you think there should be different ownership limits? Why/why not?
Look, if I wanted to learn about business, I'd major in fucking business, all right? I'm not interested in the distribution of the product. I want to create the fucking product. Get some soulless empty suit do the drone work and let me express myself, you bastards.
In case you haven't figured it out, I'm pissed the fuck off right now. Fucking bullshit semester from hell.
Hey, this uncensored stuff is kinda fun.
Those of you who have watched Futurama should be suspicious already...
Anyway, I've devised a plot for the next exciting/hilarious Bob and Joe adventure! It involves ghosts and more people with weird names.
Unfortunately, I probably won't be able to write it for at least a month. But there is a sequel on the way.
Bye now.
Well, it happened again. I said I would have the Grand Theory of Leftism posted before I went back to school. I'm going back to school in a few hours, and I haven't posted it yet...
So I'd better do that now!
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
CD'S GRAND THEORY OF LEFTISM
A few general notes:
- This is based on my observation of liberal behavior over the past few months, both on the Internet and in the real world (when you're a communications major, you meet quite a few liberals).
- Remember that the GTOL is a theory, and is simply my attempt to explain how people come to believe certain things, and why they maintain those beliefs. It is not meant to be taken as definitive proof of anything.
- This does not apply to all liberals or leftists. It mainly applies to crazy moonbats who live in their own little world.
- I'm writing this in a hurry based on a text document that's been on my computer for about 4 months, so it'll probably be updated. A lot. For about a week.
- This is probably the last substantial post I'll write for a while. I'm going to be working my ass off until the end of the semester, and blogging will have to be sacrificed for the sake of my GPA.
On to the theory itself...
After observing liberals for a long time, I have discovered that their beliefs and attitudes seem to center around 3 things:
1. Projection (the psychological defense mechanism, not the movie thing)
2. Mental immaturity
3. "Selfish selflessness"
Let's cover projection first. Projection is, essentially, the attribution of one's own traits, beliefs, and behaviors to others. It can be used with both positive and negative characteristics. For example, liberals seemed to be ashamed of their liberalism during the 2004 election. When Kerry was called a liberal, he denied it. Others reacted similarly. However, they knew that they were liberal, and in order to eliminate the cognitive dissonance that occurred as a result of holding beliefs that caused feelings of shame, they had to choose between changing their beliefs or denying them.
Many chose to deny their liberalism, but to make themselves feel better about it, they latched onto the "liberal is an insult" excuse. Remember that? Lefties kept asking why "liberal" was always treated as a bad word. In reality, it seemed like they were just ashamed to be called liberal, but they projected those feelings onto their opponents in order to justify hiding their liberalism. See what I mean?
It was a similar situation with patriotism. Liberals kept claiming that their patriotism was being questioned, but other than Michael "The Insurgents Will Win" Moore, I don't recall much of that actually happening. Projection seems to explain it, however. You see, they apparently doubted their own patriotism, but since they didn't want to admit it, they said that the right had accused them of being unpatriotic, then used that as an excuse to bloviate about how they were more patriotic than Bush. They projected their shame about their beliefs onto their opponents, and it almost worked. Almost.
I'll cover more of that in the specific examples below. First, let's talk about mental immaturity. I'm not trying to be overly insulting here, but liberals seem to use thought processes that resemble those of less developed human beings. For example, their positions are often based on feelings rather than logic, and they have a tendency to think they can wish for the results they want without having to actually work for them.
An interesting fact I learned in my introductory psychology class is that children under a certain age have trouble seeing things from any point of view other than their own. For example, if they look at a sequence of pictures that depict a boy placing an object in a hiding place, followed by his mother moving that object after he leaves, they predict that the boy will look for the object in the location his mother moved it to, rather than the one in which he hid it. They don't understand that they can have information others don't, so they assume that everyone thinks exactly as they do.
See any parallels? Liberals often treat their opinions as facts, and opposing opinions as lies. This is why they seem to think that reciting talking points and/or cutting and pasting a long-winded editorial is equivalent to refuting someone's point. Since opinions count as facts, they see no need to explain why those particular opinions prove their point. In addition, if you disagree with them, you must be lying. Therefore, your opinion is often considered "hateful."
For a recent example, look at the Jeff Gannon/James Guckert scandal. The general understanding on the left seems to be that the White House hired him to ask softball questions to President Bush. Is there any proof of this? Not really. But since Gannon doesn't agree with them, he must be a professional stooge. After all, how could a member of the unbiased media ask slanted questions?
Speaking of the media, this immaturity thing applies there as well. Even after Rathergate, liberals still seem to think that the media is either unbiased or slanted to the right. This is because the media agrees with them, and since their opinions are The Truth, the media is simply reporting the facts when they portray Iraq and the economy as dismal failures and treat Bush like a draft-dodger. And Fox News gets the worst treatment. They slant a little to the right, so clearly, they're the government propaganda wing. In addition, people like Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh are referred to as "Republican operatives" by some of the more loony leftists. Why? Because Republicans are liars for not agreeing with the left, and anyone who gets paid to argue for the conservative side must be associated with Bush or Rove somehow!
I've found a lot more proof that immaturity is a cause of leftist beliefs. For example, liberals tend to reduce complicated issues to simple, one-word descriptions. This often results in insults. If you're against affirmative action, you're a racist! If you're against gay marriage, you're a homophobe! If you're against abortion, you're a misogynist! If you support the war, you're an imperialist! If you support Bush, you're a fascist!
And remember, they see these little reductions as statements of fact.
The same applies to their own beliefs. They oppose the war because war is always wrong, and peace is always good. They support abortion because of the woman's "right to choose." They support gay marriage because it's the only way to achieve equality. Same thing with affirmative action. And they oppose Bush because...he's Bush!
Also...conspiracy theories. I don't think I have to add anything more to that one.
Liberals also seem to be able to change their positions at will in order to stay on the "right" (in this case, left) side. A few examples:
-"The war was for profit...and it's bankrupting the country!"
-"Iraq didn't have WMD...but even if they did, it was only because the U.S. sold them WMD!"
-"Kerry served in Vietnam, so questioning his patriotism is wrong. Those Swift Boat Vets are so unpatriotic."
-"Bush is crushing dissent and trampling our freedom of speech...and why won't he order the Swift Boat Vets to shut up?"
-"Bush didn't do enough to prevent 9/11...and the PATRIOT Act is excessive!"
-"Republicans are always trying to appeal to homophobes and racists. By the way, Jeff Gannon is a man-whore, and Condi Rice is a house negro." (that one was also projection)
- "Bush relies on scare tactics...so don't vote for him, because he will draft you and your children."
Immaturity also makes it difficult for liberals to see more than one goal at once. For example, they can't seem to figure out that the war in Iraq was fought to eliminate WMD and free the Iraqi people. It's got to be one or the other! The same thing applies to the "Saddam didn't attack us" crowd. Bin Laden and al Qaeda must be our only enemies, and if we go after someone like Hussein, it's a diversion from the real War on Terror!
The result of all this is moral and intellectual superiority. Conservatives are "evil" and "stupid," and liberals are the enlightened "reality-based community." See any of Howard Dean's recent comments for more on this.
I could go on, but I'll move on to the final point: "Selfish selflessness." Liberals like to be seen as the advocates of the unfortunate. The supporters of the "little guy." But the key part of this is that they "like to be seen" that way. This applies mostly to leftists in power. They support a larger government role in people's lives because they want to take credit for anything positive that happens. If anything negative happens...well, see the "projection" section. This also explains their fear of individualism. After all, if people help themselves, who will get credit for it? The result: Things like affirmative action and welfare. They may not solve many problems, but it kinda looks like they're helping, and they have "good intentions," so why not?
Some of this may also be caused by moral and intellectual superiority, by the way. The "sheeple" don't know as much as the elite, so clearly, they need government to make decisions for them. Either way, the left gets to take credit.
Now, it's time to look at a few cases where all these principles apply.
CASE #1: RACISM/AFFIRMATIVE ACTION
The liberal thinks about the situation and notices that he holds racist beliefs. This may not always be true, but I've noticed that the supposedly "tolerant" lefties tend to be much more familiar with racist terminology than conservatives. Look at all those "code words" they're always pointing to. Or read this. And this.
Anyway, the liberal observes his racist beliefs, and due to projection and mental immaturity, he assumes that most members of society hold those beliefs. However, he also realizes that he needs to look like he represents tolerance and racial equality. Cognitive dissonance forces him to make a choice between changing his beliefs or denying them. He chooses to deny them and support affirmative action, which makes it look like he cares when he is, in fact, perpetuating racism whether he realizes it or not. He can then project his racism onto conservatives when they claim that affirmative action is wrong.
This is fun, isn't it?
CASE #2: TERRORISM AND THE WAR
The liberal tries to understand terrorism by thinking about what would make him resort to terror. After all, everyone else must think the same way he does. He concludes that terrorists must be motivated by a lack of resources, and that by refusing their demands, we're increasing the probability of a terrorist attack. He doesn't really consider the fact that many terrorists are religious fanatics, since he would never commit a terrorist act in the name of religion. He then tries to devise solutions to terrorism based on his own experiences, and he concludes that we need to understand "root causes" and try to figure out how to work with the terrorists to help them out of their unfortunate situation. He also believes that we need to apologize for offending them, since that would make him feel better if he was mad at someone. He can even project his racism onto others in this situation by claiming that they want to "murder brown people" instead of trying diplomacy.
This applies to the war as well. Look at the "occupiers vs. liberators" argument. Liberals see U.S. troops as occupiers, and since occupying another country is clearly bad, the U.S. troops must also be bad. Based on these assumptions, liberals conclude that the Iraqis who identify U.S. troops as occupiers rather than liberators must not like having the U.S. in Iraq. They never stop to think that, even though the troops are occupying the country, it may be a good thing. No, if they're seen as "occupiers," they must be offending the Iraqi populace! Never mind the fact that there's nothing to liberate Iraqis from now that they have a representative government. If our troops aren't seen as liberators, the war is a quaaaaaaaaaagmiiiiiiire! For more proof, track down those pictures of people apologizing to Iraq for the war. Because, you know, all Iraqis would rather have Saddam back. Yep.
And how 'bout those anti-war protests? Perfect illustrations of the GTOL. Hundreds of people spouting random buzzwords and talking points in order to gain publicity for themselves and congratulate one another for not believing Bush's "lies." Have you seen how happy these protesters look? They don't seem to be doing it for anyone but themselves.
Hey, we can go even further with this. Liberals like to talk about how Bush has made us more unpopular in the world, and things like this show that they assume a consensus. First of all, placing more importance on popularity than principle is a big sign of immaturity. Second, why do they seem so sure that everyone in the world hates Bush? Why, because they hate him, of course! Sorryeverybody.com also demonstrates their need to look like they care. Selfish selflessness.
CASE #3: CRIME/THE DEATH PENALTY
This should be fun. Liberals seem to enjoy defending criminals, especially those sentenced to death. Why? Let's try to analyze the situation. The liberal observes a convicted criminal's plight, and a combination of projection and immaturity forces him to imagine himself in the same situation, rather than looking at it from a third-person perspective. He concludes that he would not enjoy being executed, and therefore, it's wrong to execute convicted murderers. As a result, his arguments against the death penalty often revolve around questions like, "How would you feel if you were sentenced to death?"
Well, I wouldn't like it one bit, but if I fucking murdered somebody, I would deserve it, right?
And yes, I have heard arguments like that. I also seem to remember hearing something like, "What if your mother was going to be executed? Would you support the death penalty then?"
Again, because the liberal can only see the situation from his point of view, he can't imagine why the death penalty would be necessary. After all...it wouldn't be fun! In order to deal with it, liberals can stand up for convicted criminals ("Free Mumia!") to get their feeling of self-satisfaction. Unwarranted empathy is a big part of this as well.
CASE #4: GUN CONTROL
Notice that many of the anti-gun arguments on the left revolve around the premise that "people don't need guns" or "I don't understand why you want to own a gun" or "I could never have a gun in my house." They assume that most people think like they do, and those who don't are just bloodthirsty, gun-crazy rednecks. Liberals don't seem to understand that many people do feel like they need guns, because they project their own anti-gun opinions onto society. In addition, they don't seem to understand the concept that criminals will still get guns and use them. They can't see themselves breaking the law, so clearly, nobody else would, right? And in any case...guns are violent, and violence is wrong, so we need gun control!
...
I need to develop that one, but it's a start.
That's all for now, but there will be updates in the next few days. The theory is all there; It's just a matter of posting more examples now. Feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments.
...Aaaaadd theeeeem...
/Homer
Burn in hell, you bastard.
UPDATE
To everyone out there in Blogland claiming that you "wouldn't want to live like that:"
That's not the friggin' point. The point is whether Terri wants to live like that. And since there's no proof she doesn't, other than from her husband (who changed his story as soon as he got the money he wanted), we should probably give her the benefit of the friggin' doubt.
Got it?
As I mentioned a couple days ago, I have been working despite the lack of blog updates. I've now managed to make Quicktime versions of 8 of my songs, and I thought I'd share them with you. I don't know if you care or not, but since it's my blog, I'll post 'em anyway. However, I have to start with the traditional "bore you to tears with background information" segment, so let's get that over with.
I assume you're all aware that I'm a musician, so I'll skip the explanation of how I started this. Also, the explanation of how I made these songs in the first place is here.
Now, on to the songs themselves. They're all rock songs, and I'd classify them as "grunge metal," although your name for this style may be different. I'm not really big on categorization. They're meant to sound as close as possible to the drum parts I play in real life (with a bit of double bass thrown in, of course) and the guitar parts I've written in my head. I'd also like to add that it's really cool to hear some of these after they've been playing in my brain for 2 or 3 years.
If you listen to these, keep in mind that they would be a lot louder and more aggressive when played with actual instruments, and that there would be vocals to make some of them less repetitive. The lyrics for these songs are all here, as well as a few drum samples. I am planning on changing a few of the words at some point, but the ones that are posted now are the ones I wrote this music for.
...So, is everyone still here? Great! Let's get to the fun part. I'll post the songs in the order they would appear on an album (hmm...I could call it "CD's CD") so you can get the full experience if you choose to listen to 'em all. They're in MP3 format, if you were wondering.
...Oh, and one more thing: If any of this music sounds familiar, let me know. I may have unconsciously ripped off a few of the guitar parts from songs I've heard. But if I did, it was not intentional. Thank you.
CD's Songs:
1. Turning Point
2. Chainsaw
3. Blink
4. Ransom
5. Invincible
6. Choice
7. Ode to Humanity
8. Peaceful Chaos
Is it just my imagination, or have the grammatical standards of the blogosphere gone way down in the past couple months? I'm finding errors in practically every post and comment I read these days.
Learn how to use the English language, people!!!
Just a little tribute there.
Anyway, sorry for the lack of bloggity goodness, but I'm on spring break, so I've been trying to unwind, and I really don't feel like writing after that history paper almost killed me last week. I have, however, been working on some non-writing creations. More on that in a second. First, a few other general notes:
1. I've decided to stop self-censoring. We're all adults, right? We can handle a little naughty language once in a while. Besides, this blog was made partially for rantin'. It seems kind of silly to write an angry post and then say "f**k you" or "dang you to heck" or something. And if nobody stopped reading after I posted the Bob and Joe script, I assume you don't really mind. In any case...fuck censorship, man.
2. The Grand Theory of Leftism. Yes, I promised that I would have it up while I was on spring break...wait, that didn't sound right...anyway, the GTOL will be posted before I go back to school on Sunday. When? Your guess is probably better than mine.
3. In case you somehow missed it, I am an artist. Writing, music, and film are arts. Therefore, I think that I should dedicate more of the blog to those and less to politics. It just doesn't seem worth it to write about every little happening in the political world now that the election's been over for a while. That doesn't mean that I'm going to stop blogging about politics, because frankly...politicians piss me off, and I sometimes need to write about it. But I'm on a creative rampage right now, and I need an outlet. Welcome to Outlet...ville.
4. In the same vein as good ol' Numero Tres up there^, I've been MIDIfying a few more of my songs, and I'll post 'em in MP3 form once they're all done. I posted Choice back in November, so you can listen to that if you want to know what to expect. I've already done "Turning Point," "Chainsaw," and "Ode to Humanity," and I'll probably do at least 3 more in the next couple days. Good times.
5. There is NO...#5.
6. That last one was also a tribute.
7. That's it. For now...
So, I was checking out this article, and I noticed a poll on the side. Take a look:
Notice anything? I'll give you a few more seconds............okay, ready?
IT'S NOTHING BUT REMAKES AND SEQUELS!!!
Come on, Hollywood. What happened? Did you spend so much time bashing President Bush that you forgot to brainstorm? This is ridiculous. I know that there will be more movies besides these, but still...there shouldn't be this many cop-out films in one year. It's just wrong.
The entertainment industry needs me. Seriously. If only I was taking a decent TRF class this semester, I could start practicing now...but that would be too easy, wouldn't it? F**kin' liberal arts/business requirements. Bah.
T-minus 12.5 hours until spring break. It can't possibly come soon enough. F**king bulls**t semester.
...Uh...have a nice day!
Have I mentioned lately that I really need a band? I feel like my musical abilities are going to waste.
Oh, well. At least I get to play my drums again in a couple days. Hooray for spring break.
I just got back from the College Republicans meeting.
Apparently, we're getting Michelle Malkin to speak next month.
Heh, I say.
Holy crap.
HOLY CRAP.
I just finished my history paper. It's done. Completely. It's not due until 9:30 tomorrow morning, and it's DONE!
...This may not seem like that big a deal, but this is one of the only times in my life that I haven't waited until the last minute to finish an assignment. I've been working on this thing for the last 10 days, and now it's freakin' finished!!! I could get used to this "getting done before midnight" stuff.
Heh.
when you just don't get it you can upset it but when you learn to accept it lyrics
Um...a little verbose, aren't we?
UPDATE
A couple more good ones to brighten up your Monday:
editorial column written by bogeyman
I have to get back to writing my history paper now. Farewell.
Annotated bibliographies make my head hurt.
If you write comments on a paper, then tell me to revise and re-submit said paper based on those comments, you could at least write legibly so I would know what the f**k you want me to change. I can't make any meaningful improvements when your comments consist of rectangles around certain words and a scribble that appears to say "befar."
What are you people getting paid for, anyway?
Thank you very much.
Well, I guess some of you do want to read the script I wrote. Hmm. I suppose I might as well post it. I won't have much time to blog until spring break anyway.
Just a quick introduction: As I said in the last post, this whole thing was an exercise in character-based writing, and it was largely stream-of-consciousness, so it most likely doesn't reflect the kind of films I'll be making as a professional. It's also much more obscene than anything I've ever posted on the blog, but compared to something like the South Park movie, it's pretty tame. However, it is rated R. You've been warned.
As far as the plot, I mentioned before that I had no idea where it was going to go, so it really surprised me a few times. At some points, it may seem like it was written by a crazy liberal (you'll understand when you see it), but in reality, I just decided to make fun of everyone instead of trying to send some kind of message. Nobody escapes from this thing without being made a fool of at least once (although I do tend to go easy on Joe, since he's basically a fictionalized version of myself).
Also, I'm planning on making several sequels. I'm not sure what they'll be about, but Bob and Joe are too funny to leave behind.
Now that I've done my traditional "introduce a piece of my art with boring explanations" routine, I'll post the script. It's pretty big, so I made it a PDF (I can make it into a text document if anyone has trouble with that). Click the link below to download it:
UPDATE
Now available as a text file:
Back to Nature.rtf
